Logs:For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation and brings no regret, but worldly grief produces death.
| For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation and brings no regret, but worldly grief produces death. | |
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| Dramatis Personae | |
| In Absentia
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2021-10-06 "Evil twins are very Halloweeny." |
| Location
<PRV> Kitty and Marinov's Apartment {Cathaus} - Lower East Side | |
This high ceiling, fourth floor apartment is on its way to being well lived in. The walls are a light cream colour, the spotless hardwood floors stained a rich red-brown. The door opens into the living room, always bright with natural light coming in the windows or the glow of the twin pink rock salt lamps nestled on the one of the sills. Small succulents and other resilient, cat-safe houseplants dot the windowsills and nearby surfaces – one on the low coffee table between the faux-leather couch and the television mounted on the wall, another on a ladder bookshelf squeezed into a corner. There are no rugs, nothing that can collect fur, but the couch and floor are both covered in pillows. On the wall opposite the television, there is a framed poster of the Cat’s Eye Nebula from an astrophysics conference. To the left of this space is a small kitchen, just large enough to fit two people in it, if one of them can walk through other people. To the right is a small hallway, leading to the washroom and two bedrooms. One of the bedroom doors has a small blue mezuzah on the doorframe, held in place with wall putty. Kitty has already begun her pity party, it seems -- a huge bowl of popcorn is actively being depleted on the coffee table, a plate of grocery store cookies next to it. There has been the beginnings of an effort to decorate the place for Halloween -- a lopsided pumpkin on the counter, some black construction paper bats plastered onto the walls. A box of decorations has been shoved unceremoniously into a corner, some orange and black sparkly thing peeking out around the cardboard. On the television screen, Netflix is open, cursor hovering over Addams Family. Kitty stirs at a pot on the stove, the smell of apples and spices wafting up in the steam. She's dressed to stay in -- red flannel pajama pants, a fraying Columbia U sweatshirt, orange and black fuzzy socks. Her Magen David pendant has gotten all the way twisted and is currently resting on her back instead of her collar. She's quick on the buzzer, opens her door well before anyone makes their way up. "Cider?" she offers the first arrival. "I think I added too much cinnamon, but it's mostly okay." "I would love cider." Leo is trading Kitty for the bottle of rose under his arm so that he can remove his black slip-on boots, paired currently with black spread-collar shirt with saffron yellow at placket and inside its upturned cuffs and medium wash blue jeans. "I'm very glad we're solidly approaching cider weather and I'll pretend I heard no such blasphemies as *too much cinnamon*. Does that exist?" He drifts further into the apartment, setting a small Tupperware of brownies down on the coffee table next to the other snacks before lifting a hand reflexively toward Kitty's back -- hesitating -- brows lifting. "You've got -- twisted 'round, may I --" The bottle received with a grin and safely deposited on the counter, Kitty switches to filling two mugs to the brim with steaming cider. “Uh, counterpoint — the cinnamon challenge. Do you remember that?” She turns to hand over the mug, bright smile turning to a quizzical look and a small flush. “Oh, did it — sure,” Kitty says, her words toppling over Leo’s, turning back so Leo can reach her necklace. The buzzer goes again — she presses the button immediately, unlocking the door downstairs. "Oh -- oh!" Leo evidently does remember because his nose has automatically wrinkled, mouth pressing into a distasteful pucker. "Thank goodness TikTok has moved onto newer and more daring ways for people to try killing themselves because that was a waste of good spices." He slips fingertips with an excessive amount of care under the pendant, lifting it and untwisting it to slide it back to the front of its chain and settle it properly into place. "One of those days, huh? -- The brownies shouldn't be too strong but like. A good forget-about-one-of-those-days strong. I --" His hand has still been hovering near the little star, but he drops it with a flush at the sound of the buzzer. "Well. It's been useful lately working with Ion." DJ doesn't arrive in any especial hurry after the sound of the buzzer, a Perfectly Ordinary amount of time later knocking at Kitty's door. He's looking perfectly ordinary outside, too; jeans and a green and grey flannel. No goat in tow, but he *does* have a bag of Reese's pumpkins. He's offering them up with a smile when the door opens, warm in his greeting. "Hey! Thought these were -- festive. Kitty, this is Sera, I don't know if --" It's just about here his eyes light on Leo and his words cut off entirely, the color draining starkly from his face. He's shifted back closer to Sera in almost the same moment, the bag of candy gone and his hand now resting on the girl's shoulder. "-- oh." A wave of alien excitement washes over the apartment even before the door opens. Sera is still small for her age, but growing fast enough now to be noticeable to anyone who goes more than a month without seeing her. Growth spurt notwithstanding, her clothes both fit her and suit her perfectly: a flannel shirt in bright multicolored tartan, lightly stonewashed blue denim overalls with an abundance of pockets that she is putting to good use, and sequined purple low-top sneakers, all lightly dusted with dirt that she has made an earnest effort to brush off somewhere along the way. "Hi! She freezes when DJ does, even before she recognizes Leo. When she does, however, a bright cold wash of fear and seemingly contradictory sorrow with a hint of fondness rolls over the others. "Um..." She shuffles just a little closer to DJ, one hand clasping the opposite elbow. "...Vector?" Is Kitty blushing, or is the kitchen just warm? She doesn't move while Leo untwists her necklace, only starting back into motion when the buzzer goes off. "You'll have to thank Ion for me," she says after a moment, pressing the mug into Leo's hands before filling a second, then a third, then a fourth. "It's exactly one of those days, apparently someone sniped my whole third chapter already, and two of my simulations have calculation errors --" The annoyance growing in her chest hits against the wave of excitement coming down the hall, stopping her vent prematurely. "Also, forgot to say, I think we'll be the only ones having brownies. Or wine." She opens the door with a smile, mouth open to say something -- perhaps would you like some cider or hi Sera, nice to see you -- before her guests freeze. "Uh," she says, brows furrowed in confusion, looking over her shoulder. "This is, Leo --" Kitty's struck simultaneously with realization, guilt, and embarrassment when she says Leo's name, but then confusion looking back at the extra-dimensional refugees on her threshold. "I'm -- missing. Something. Cider? I made cider." Kitty steps into the wood of the door to let DJ and Sera in, anxiety shedding from her as she passes through a few more appliances on her way to the mugs. Leo cradles his mug carefully, taking a slow sip and making an appropriately sympathetic grimace at Kitty's School Woes. "Well, that just means more wine for you, it sounds like --" Here he cuts off, too, though; his eyes have locked on DJ in return. Something like horror has passed through him, and a heavy grief, a roil of nausea; somewhere beneath, just for a moment, a tiny flutter of hope. It's only when his cup thunks from his hands to spill cider over the wood floor that he finds his voice in a faltering "... Dawson?" just a moment before a bright anger joins the rest of the emotions churning in him. Something else churning, too, thick and alien and busy against Sera's senses. "Oh -- no, you're the -- he's -- you invited --" His head has bowed, his voice quiet and his shoulders hunching as he peels toward the kitchen in search of paper towels. "I'm -- I'm sorry, I should -- clean this --" "Leo." Some of the spike of wariness in DJ's mind eases, albeit -- not much. "Concepcion. Right, I'm sorry." It's swiftly followed by a complicated mix of exhaustion, annoyance, guilt. A weary hollow ache that doesn't ease; he gives a very small shake of his head, lowering his hand from Sera's shoulder though he doesn't move from her side. "And I'm sorry. You -- just remind me of someone I knew, too. It -- was a bit of a surprise, that's all. I'm --" His eyes dart to Kitty briefly, a slight flush in his cheeks. "-- guessing mutual." Sera's fear recedes as the adults start to untangle the mistaken identities, and though it does not leave her altogether it soon joined by a warmer bloom of curiosity that also ripples out freely. "Leo Concepcion," she echoes, looking up at DJ, frowning, then back at Leo. "You're the vaccine guy?" Incredulity joins the complex tangle of emotions as her power tries and tries and tries to align her neurochemistry to everyone else's. Her bright green eyes follow Leo's flight to the kitchen, her power tugging reflexively at the odd alien sensation, sensible to Leo but probably not easy to identify. "Um, what are you doing is that your -- vaccine. Thing." All at once she's afraid again and embarrassed in equal parts, though no less curious. Her contagious emotions start to ease, though she cannot seem to shut it off altogether. She does, however, actually move farther into the room, her bearing determinedly confident. "Sorry, that was -- rude? I'm Sera." Then adds, with a light emphasis that feels distantly proud, "Tessier." Less proudly, "...version 2.0." "In my defense," Kitty says weakly, already slipping through wood paneling as she replies to DJ, "you never gave me a list of -- you know. People you knew." Kitty winces when the mug lands heavily on the floorboards, pausing in her pursuit of mugs to find some dishrags. "Shit, I'm so sorry, I just --" Kitty's voice is soft and quiet, only a little louder than the rattle of the rag drawer as she speaks to -- at? -- Leo. "I thought you two must have met by now, or, fuck, I don't know, I didn't think --" The tremble in her voice is small, barely noticeable, but guilt pours from her. "He's -- I thought, after all that Latveria shit -- " Sera's embarrassment, or maybe her own, makes Kitty's cheeks hot. She swallows the rest of the sentence, leaves a selection of dishtowels on the counter. Returns to the mugs, holds one out to the teen in her kitchen. "Hi. I'm Kitty. Sorry about. All of this." "I -- I did heard about him but. I didn't. I didn't know..." Leo is steadfastly not looking at DJ, now, as he picks up a pair of dishtowels. Damps one with water, returns to sink down to his knees to mop up the spilled cider. There's still fury hot inside him, and a heavy clenching pain; his expression is mostly just dazed still, brows slowly furrowing and his eyes fixed on his repetitive scrubbing. The floor is probably ending up cleaner than before the cider got there. "... you knew me?" He almost looks up, but doesn't quite. Pulls his eyes back down to the floor. Keeps rubbing at it. The odd churning continues, fluttering queasily against Sera's curious tugging. "Rude?" His brows pinch deeper, but he sounds at least on a little steadier ground when he answers. "... I'm. The vaccine guy. Yes." "Not you." DJ is sharp and immediate in this response. His cheeks flush deep after this, his head bowing apologetically. "Sorry, I -- I mean, a different Leo Concepcion. It's just --" His shrug is small, his expression still somewhat guarded as he looks from Leo to Sera. There's a sharper alertness rising again in his mind. "... what's he doing?" His posture has straightened minutely. The smile he offers Kitty is crooked, still far from at ease. "Should I make a list? It'd be long. New York only, or --? Anyway, everyone knew Vector, that's like asking if someone's heard of Magneto or --" His eyes stutter on the Magen David necklace, cheeks darkening further before he looks up to the ceiling. "Well. Everyone knew who he was. He -- didn't do vaccines." Sera's hesitation is barely noticeable when Kitty offers her the mug, a reluctance to stray from DJ's side that she firmly quashes. "Thank you," she says, trying to sound calm -- trying to feel calm. This halting effort collapses at DJ's vigilance, and she starts exuding agitation again. "I don't know what it is but that." One of her hands peels from the mug and flutters in Leo's direction, frustrated. "Your -- power?" She sounds even more uncertain now, looking up at DJ. "I don't even know what it's supposed to feel like." Kitty gives Sera a little nod, passes her to give the last mug to DJ. I'm sorry, she mouths, her expression apologetic right before DJ lands on the Magneto comment. The remorse disappears, replaced by a flare of irritation. Kitty presses her lips together, reaching for the bottle of wine and passing the cork through the glass. "_We_ don't know Vector," she says at last. "Could you close the door?" Kitty retrieves the dropped mug, refills it with wine, and places it next to Leo. "Hey, it's good, you can stop, you're going to rub a hole through my floor." Her voice is gentle, smooth and stable over the nervous, vulnerable restlessness she feels. "I have an otherworld evil twin." Leo does rock back on his heels, leaving off the spot he's been wiping down and lifting his eyes to the ceiling instead like maybe his gaze can bore a hole through that now. "I'm sorry. This was supposed to be -- de-stressing. I just --" He blinks, hard. "How is it already October?" DJ's eyes open wider, his face getting no less red. "No. No, that isn't -- what I meant. Exactly. Dangerous. Twin, maybe, but we all were --" His hand lifts, rubbing through his hair. "He engineered a virus that could kill all humans -- at least, he said he had. Who knows if he did, I can't blame him for letting that rumor stand. The number of us that he saved? I don't even know how many Sentinels he took out, I mean -- I'd want the government to think I had that dead man's switch on me, too." His blush does finally start to recede at the mention of the date, his head shaking slowly. The ache he'd felt on first seeing Leo redoubles. There's a brief flutter; it hardly looks like he's moved, but the door is closed all the same. "Sorry," he says, very softly. "I didn't mean for -- any of this." "He's not evil," this come out pricklier from Sera than her tone or expression or body language should convey, but she seems satisfied with DJ's defense of Vector's character. "Still scary, though." Her embarrassment spills out again, then it wrenches, somehow, into a slow relaxing of fear and tension. The calm trickles out from her, but feels more or less natural to the adults. "I'm sorry, too," she says, bowing her head abashed. But just for a moment before she looks up, raising her eyebrows minutely. "...are we cool? Ish?" "Evil twins are very Halloweeny." Kitty doesn't sound convinced of this point, unease churning in her stomach. She crouches next to Leo, hand hovering over his shoulder, like she's about to place it there to comfort him, or maybe herself. At the mention of the month, though, her hand falls through Leo. "Fuck," she mutters. When she looks back at DJ, grief stabs through, her expression a sadder echo of the way she looked at him for the first time nearly a year ago. Sera's calm saps the tension from her shoulders. "My fault," she says quietly. "Didn't think." She's thinking now, though. "Saved?" "Oh, we could do Us next time," is almost an aside from Leo; quiet and a little distant, he hasn't stopped staring at the ceiling. At least, not until: "-- Sentinels?" His eyes finally snap to DJ, even if only for a second before he looks to Sera instead. "What do you me... how? Saved? Was he... were you..." But he trails off here, no less lost than before. He starts to reach for Kitty's hand after it falls through him, but with a vague inward regret (accompanied by a determined clamp at the uncomfortable churning inside him, that slowly starts to simmer down) just drops his hand instead. DJ finally takes a long slow sip of his cider. The sweet hot drink doesn't soothe his guilt or homesickness but it does steady some of his agitation -- no doubt helped along by the calm trickling out from Sera. "Sorry," he says again, quietly. "I keep trying to just do the normal thing here but I don't even know anymore what --" His head shakes, and Leo's question sends a ripple of confusion through his mind. "I mean -- how do you do anything? I think he made them some kind of viruses? A lot of people were scared of him -- I was scared of him -- but he kept our people safe." There's a clear hesitation in his expression when he looks to Kitty, after her question, and for a moment it seems like that is where he'll leave this explanation. He takes another sip of cider, chews briefly on the insides of his cheeks, and continues, "... especially in the later years. Everyone was dead or captured or in hiding. There were so few people who could take on the Mark V Sentinels and walk away. Might not be many people who could stomach what it took for him to walk an entire camp out free and to our safehouse but there weren't many people who could do that, either, and help me see they all lived to see the border on top of it. I guess there'd be a lot of people who thought he was evil but I'd like to think Heavenly Father sees more complexity in our worlds." "But the other --" Sera darts a look at DJ, then Leo, and does not pick that statement back up. She more or less manages to sound not too much like she thought better of it by quickly veering off to, "'Do us'?" This question directed, with a small curious tilt of her head, at Leo. Nodding, she adds, "The other -- Vector saved my best friend and a bunch of people, then he kind of adopted..." She turns this over briefly. "Maybe it's more like Spence adopted him." Her own sorrow and homesickness melds with DJ's, leaving the calm undisturbed until he starts explaining the situation in their world. Horror and anger and guilt overwhelm her and the others -- but only briefly before the calm reasserts itself, not quite so subtly this time. "People keep saying things are bad here, but -- maybe it's just a different kind of bad. I'm glad you're stopping plagues here and not..." She turns one hand palm up, as if what-Leo-isn't-doing speaks for itself. Kitty is still and silent, moving only to slip her hand into Leo's. Her emotions, on the other hand, crash into each other like waves into the surf -- calm disrupted by a spike of confusion, Sera's horror-anger-guilt colliding into a nauseating twist of inherited collective trauma at the mention of _camps_. "These -- camps, they were -- was Spence, were you --" Kitty swallows, her voice slightly hoarse for no apparent cause, before looking at Sera, to DJ, back to Sera. "It's a -- different horror movie," Leo explains, a little distracted, "there's a lot of -- not-actually-evil twins." What he says next is quieter, not in English but its tone -- caught between horrified and reverent, offered not to his companions here but up to God -- likely transcends language easily enough. "You all weren't -- tss. Is that why you -- came..." he starts, but even as he's saying it his frown is growing. His fingers curl more tightly around Kitty's hand; within him there's been a sudden sharper flare of that same busy alien activity. "... he made the Sentinels... that's not... I can't -- I couldn't..." His eyes have scrunched closed, for a moment; the swell of guilt and shame that is rising in him is almost (almost) enough to eclipse the grief, for a moment. "I'm so sorry," he mumbles, yanking his hand back from Kitty's with a sharp breath. "I can't --" That's as far as he gets before pushing himself to his feet, grabbing his boots on his hasty way out the door. "We weren't -- well," something briefly darker crosses DJ's expression, but he shakes it away. "Not for long. Spence and I are -- hard to hold. His grandparents -- Jackson's folks, they let us run kind of a. Waystation out of their farm. Good churchgoing humans, way out of the way, it was a good place to shuttle folks through who were trying to get out of the country or just. Trying to spend a safe few days before going back to look for..." He trails off, knuckles rubbing slowly against his bearded cheek. His hand lowers, cider mug tipping out toward Sera together with a nod of affirmation. "Our resistance would have been in a lot of trouble if he hadn't -- hey, are you --" This is with a worried look to Leo, but the man is already starting to get up. DJ quiets, his head bowing. He takes another sip of cider, exhales slowly. "... maybe a little too much. Horror." Sera swallows hard, looking down into her cider, though she's still just exuding tranquility that seems more and more improbable with each passing moment. She looks up abruptly at Leo. "Hey uh what --" comes slightly offset with DJ's also trucated inquiry. Her eyes have gone very wide and her calm does waver now as she backs hastily out of Leo's way. "Oh no did we say something...wrong." It doesn't really sound like a question. Her skinny shoulders pull inward and her breath hitches, but with another slow inhale she is relaxing once more. She watches Leo's hasty exit without any visible signs of distress, her steady gaze flicking to Kitty. "I'm sorry we ruined spooky movie night." Kitty squeezes Leo’s hand while DJ speaks— if he grips too tightly it doesn’t show on her face. A spike of distress when Leo pulls away, but she doesn’t start after him. When the door closes behind Leo, she takes the mug of wine and downs it all at once before standing up. “You didn’t ruin movie night. I messed up. I’m sorry.” She takes a deep breath before looking at her guests again with a weak, trembling smile. “I’m still down for a movie if you’d like to stay. I have so many questions, but —“ her gaze drops to the floor, to the dishrag soaked with cider left there, “— maybe there’s been enough haunting for tonight.” | |
