Logs:Not Alone

Not Alone
Dramatis Personae Jax, Steve
In Absentia	2020-06-22 "Not like. Highlander-style tryna take his power, then."
Location <NYC> Home - East Village
Nestled into the heart of the East Village, Home is an unobtrusive place, with an unobtrusive name to match. A nondescript storefront opens up into an equally nondescript cafe, plain tiled floors, an assortment of veneered tables with plain wooden chairs or booths with cracking vinyl benches. What it does have to recommend it is the food, hearty solid breakfast and brunch served twenty-four hours a day, with a wide variety of menu to cater to specialized diets as well. Well-known to locals and little frequented by tourists, its friendly serving staff tend to remember their regulars, giving the place a warm feel that lives up to its name. There is a large feast set out on the table, although at the moment Jax is ignoring the plate in front of him in favor of a very large thick frappe that he sucks slooowly through its large straw. The spikes of his bird-of-paradise hair have been pressed down, flopping in vivid streaks over one side of his face. He still wears the huge novelty sunglasses. "-- plenty used to givin' out advice but. Just kinda unsure when --" His free hand flutters toward Steve. "I don't know. Ain't like you haven't been loud and clear that you're not one of us." Steve, on the other hand, has been working his way through his way rapidly through a generous plate of blueberry stuffed french toast. He washes this down with a gulp of his (very large) (very alcoholic) milkshake. His eyes flick up to Jax, then back down to his food. "I -- yeah, I just didn't really know what to tell her." He's quiet for half a beat. "I hope you know that's never been about wanting to distance myself from your community." His voice drops lower, hesitant. "It's probably ignoble to think much less say this, but...I sometimes wish I were a mutant." Jax's brows hike high up, his teeth pressing down on his straw. "Sorry, what?" He sets the milkshake back down, pushing it aside as he studies Steve's face. "I mean, I know Ryan an' I make it look real glamorous an' all, but why -- would you want to be a mutant?" "I suppose I envy your community -- even if it's one of necessity in adversity?" Steve's gaze drops again, then lifts back up to Jax, with an effort. "I know there are a thousand privileges I don't even think about on a daily basis that I would not have if I were one of you." His left hand turns gracefully upward. "I wouldn't have the platform I have now, or at least it would be a very different one -- that's one of the reasons we made my genetic test results public." He bites his lower lip. "In spite of all the privileges I enjoy for it, I'm -- not really human, anymore. People say I was asleep in that ice, but I --" His teeth clench hard and he shakes his head. "I don't know even know what I am, but I'm...the only one." Jax is silent, a moment, then reaches across the table to close one hand around Steve's. "Fair. It's a community I wouldn't give up for nothin'. I can't imagine what..." There's another hesitation; he squeezes the other man's hand gently. "Are you the only one? I mean, maybe there ain't so much of community yet but -- there wasn't much of no mutant community, neither, till we found each other and made one. And --" His brows pinch slightly. "I don't know how you'd go about startin' to look, but it seems likely by now there'd be more like you out there." Steve looks down at Jax's hand on his. Turns it to squeeze back, as much as the bandages and the fused fingers beneath them will allow. "The formula that made me like this died with its creator. He only ever had one other subject that I knew of, and -- I killed him." Then adds, hastily, "Because he was a Nazi, not because I wanted to be the only supersoldier in town." His head shakes again, slow. "The government was desperate to reverse-engineer it -- still are, though I know better now than to help them." His brows furrow faintly as he studies Jax, "But if they haven't manage it by now -- what makes you think there would be more?" "Not like. Highlander-style tryna take his power, then." Jax's nose wrinkles, his lips pressing thinner. Only quickly, though; this shifts into a surprised lift of brows. "I mean, they been working on it for ages. All the time Prometheus done spent hacking at us tryna recreate --" He waves his free hand at Steve, again. "It's not like they tell us what results they're gettin' but some of the things I seen out in the world -- I wouldn't be surprised if they had managed to give some humans powers, Lord knows they're tryin' their hardest. And they can't possibly be the only people at it. I just. It don't really seem like something you can put out a classified for, so finding folks outta places like that -- it might be a job'a work." "Highlanders?" Steve echoes, with only the mildest lift in tone. "Guess they've changed a lot since my day." A little uncertain, though he almost smiles. Almost. His face pales suddenly, his hand tightening around Jax's -- not quite hard enough to hurt, if only because his disability limits the his range of motion. The wince and the shallow gasp that follow suggest that the limiting was not comfortable. "Prometheus --" If this was going to be a question of some sort, the rest of it never comes. "They did all that --" He struggles for words, ice blue eyes wide and unblinking. "Oh God. I -- I'm so sorry." Jax's cheeks flood deep red, the colour seeping out just slightly to tinge the air around him with a very faint pinkish glow. "Oh -- I mean, yes, I assumed you --" His head ducks as he pulls in a slow breath. "I mean, from what I gather they done a lot, but they're -- they're a military sort of project with military sort of goals, the funding they get is to make more, well." His blush deepens. "Weapons." His jaw tightens slightly, but he doesn't slacken his grip on Steve's hand. "It -- it weren't your fault. I only meant that maybe -- sorry." Steve nods, somewhat mechanically. "It -- I don't know why I never made the connection. It seems so painfully obvious now. Thank you. For pointing it out." He licks his lips. "It's not that I blame myself, whatever my doubts about volunteering for that experiment. It's just horrific and infuriating and --" The color is only slowly returning to his cheeks. "-- I fear I may have said some pretty insensitive things. Not that what I want is going to change what they do, or whether they succeed, but...." He looks down at their hands, his grasp still firm -- almost desperate. "I'd rather be alone than see anyone hurt to make that happen." "I've had a little more time to think on it." Jax's head stays bowed, his thumb rubbing slowly against the side of Steve's hand. "All I mean is -- they're just one group, that we know about. An' I doubt if they worked on any other folk like you they told 'em hey, we tortured a bunch of people for this -- I'd wager they didn't sign up for none of that. And there could well be other folk out there doin' similar stuff but like -- you know. Asking first? I've seen ads here an' there for voluntary research but I don't know nobody who answers them cuz -- well, we've had some bad experiences. I only just mean there's a chance --" He bites down on his lip again. Exhales hard. "But I'm sorry. That's kind of -- not the point. It's gotta be tough not having nobody to ask or -- talk to or. My instinct's always to look for a solution and sometimes there ain't really nothin' for it but." He shakes his head, slow. "I kind of want to give you a hug right now." "I've been blaring my existence at the world for a year and more now," Steve replies grimly. "If there were anyone else out there like me wanted to be in community --" He shakes his head. "No, of course it's possible. Who knows what situation they may be in, anyway. God knows my circumstances were odd, to say the least." The color drains from Steve's face again. His hand tightens again, just a touch. Then, very low, very quiet, "Please?" Jax prises his hand out from Steve's, only long enough to scoot out of his bench and slip around the table, He slips in beside Steve, wrapping his arms around the other man in a hug that is fierce and fiercely warm. Steve slumps into the embrace with a weary relief that seems at odds with his apparently endless strength and energy. "Thank you," he murmurs, kind of into Jax's shoulder, his cheeks flushing warm. "Didn't mean to go on and on." Jax's hand just presses tighter against Steve's back, his head tipping in against the other man's hair. "You know," he replies softly, "sometimes, you are allowed t'have your own feelings. Might even have friends that want to help shoulder 'em for you." Steve's breath catches momentarily. A tremulous tension in his shoulders might be the beginnings of a sob. But finally his body lets out the breath he tries to keep in, and he melts into Jax's arms, for a moment unable to do anything but hold on.