ArchivedLogs:Sleight of Hand

Sleight of Hand
Dramatis Personae Lilia, Joe
In Absentia	2013-11-03 '
Location
A quiet, artsy spot nestled away on a side street in East Harlem, Busboys and Poets combines cafe and bookstore in a way a Starbucks tacked on to a Barnes & Noble could never achieve. The food is a solid, multi-national cuisine menu that caters to all kinds of dietary choices, and its fair-trade tea menu is extensive. Its weekend brunch tends to draw a large crowd, but there is ample enough seating both at tables and on its many comfortable armchairs and couches that at other times of the week there is never a wait. The walls are adorned with the work of local artists, and tucked in among and alongside the couches are rows upon rows of books, with a definite slant towards the political and the bohemian. It's just the right part of the day on a Sunday that things at the cafe aren't too terribly busy; while there are a fair number of customers, it's certainly not crowded. Of the customers who are here, Lilia in particular probably stands out a bit; the twenty-something woman is dressed in a knee-length yellow dress that fades to orange towards the bottom, with purple leggings and black flats. She's also carrying a floral-print tote bag and... her short, slightly wavy hair is a tropical shade of blue, with purple tips. She's apparently not a girl who dresses to avoid attention. She is, however, apparently a girl who is having some sort of issue; she's spent her time at the counter in a state of obvious irritation, and when she strides away with her drink - a blended, milkshake-style concoction - she's sipping it with a sour expression on her face. "What the-" Joe yelps, apparently standing unaware in Lilia's grump-path. He glances up from his phone just as she's bumping into him. His phone crashes into her drink, sending both on the fast way to the floor. He stoops to make a grab for them, and accomplishes several things: 1: Headbutt. 2: Drink in left hand. 3: Phone in right hand. Slow motion replay would reveal both items actually blinking into Joe's hands, instead of him actually catching them, but fortunately it happened so fast it's pretty unlikely anyone was able to see. However, the headbutt seemed to have had a profound effect on the sickly man. He goes from a half-crouch, to sitting down hard in a whumph, holding phone and drink up out of reflex. His eyes look slightly dazed as he stares at the floor between Lilia's feet. "Whu..." is his only commentary so far. Lilia's first reaction is to let out a sharp yelp, followed by a jump backwards to try to avoid getting any of the drink on her dress. There isn't much success there, even if things do work out better than they may otherwise have. Still, the girl now has cold coffee down the skirt part of the garment, dripping somewhat, and /her/ initial response is to cry out, "Putain!" followed by a slightly quieter, but more irritated, "What is wrong with you?! Can't you watch where you're going?!" Her accent is unmistakeably French, but she apparently doesn't have any problems making her way around English either. Without even waiting for a response, and apparently having given up on the cup, she then proceeds to storm over to the nearest counter to grab a handful of napkins and start patting her dress dry, grumbling a series of irritated noises under her breath. "Hey man, are you al-" begins the man leaning down to take Joe's elbow. "Oh, fuck off," Joe says, yanking his elbow out of the man's grasp. He pockets his phone, and struggles to his feet still holding the cup. He crosses and sets it on the counter next to Lilia's napkin dispenser. "Are you kidding, lady? I was standing /still/. I'm fine, by the way, thanks." Joe takes a few napkins and starts wiping on his hands, and dabbing at the few dots of cold coffee on his khakis. He's wearing those, a black polo, and some cheap, black dress shoes. He blinks when he finally looks Lilia in the face, sighs, and nods. "Yeah, figures..." "I'm fine, by the way, thanks," Lilia repeats, mockingly, as she continues patting at her dress, squeezing parts of it to get some excess liquid out. Interestingly, the accent all but vanishes when she says that, just the barest hint lurking at the edges. When she does finally decide she's done as well as she's going to manage, she lifts her head, looking Joe in the eye and frowning up at the man. "/What/ figures? And maybe you should watch where you're standing! People are trying to walk around here, if you hadn't /noticed/." Joe frowns slightly at Lilia's echo, and tugs the corner of his mouth into froggy, sardonic half-smile. "Touche. That's French, by the way." He rolls his eyes, fully aware he's explaining his joke to a fluent speaker. He shakes his head and shrugs. "It /figures/ that a beautiful woman gives me a concussion, and somehow turns it into my fault. Why not let me buy you dinner to make up for my just standing there? I feel really bad about that." His reedy voice goes in and out of sarcastic, so it's kind of hard to tell, but the actual invitation to dinner... kind of sounded sincere. Frog man want date. Lilia.. opens her mouth. Closes it. Opens it again, and frowns. "You ruin my dress and insult me then think--" The frown deepens somewhat, as the girl is suddenly /blushing/, but fighting just as hard to keep her composure. "You know what? Sure." And just as abruptly, /she/ seems to be just as sincere; she steps off to one side, moving away from that counter, and digs through her bag for a moment, eventually coming up with a phone and, after some more digging, a white square thing that she plugs into the headphone jack. After pressing a series of buttons, she finally holds the phone at Joe's chest-level, the square aligned perpendicular to the ground. "Dinner usually runs around twenty dollars with tip, go ahead and just swipe here." Pointing to the square. "I don't like carrying cash," she adds, by way of explanation. "Wow..." Joe says, and then his jaw just works for a minute, dealing with just how much he just got one-upped. "You are a real piece of work," he says, sounding much more impressed than anything else. "I'm gonna-" Joe begins, making a show of looking for his wallet. His hand comes out of a pocket with a credit card and makes a smooth gesture reaching for her square device. "If I just-" He interrupts himself as he seems to drop his credit card, which the eye would have sworn was actually falling, but then it vanishes in another swipe of his hand. "God, I'm so clumsy," he says, rolling his hands in a magician's equivalent of a salesman's patter. Keep it moving, maintain the distraction, don't give the mark chance to think or speak. His card appears and disappears half a dozen times in the second he's moving his hands in front of Lilia. "Well let's do this," Fingers flutter. "Since you seem to have lost your Square device..." And it's true, the little white square seems to have gone missing. Joe's hands come to a rest as two closed fists held out palm down. "Here's the thing. It's disappeared into one of my hands. Pick correctly, I /will/ pay you. I'll pay you /fifty/ bucks." The little crowd of half-dozen people gathered around to watch the escalating scene murmur. "Witnessed," Joe says, nodding to them. "Guess wrong, and you have dinner with me." Joe grins and shrugs. "Third option, tell me to fuck right off, and you get it back, no money, no date. The question is: do you feel lucky?" He opens his hands to prove it's actually in his palm, juggles the little plastic thing through is fingers briefly and then hides again. Throughout this entire ordeal, Lilia is certainly distracted, though she's mostly rolling her eyes and foot-tapping with exasperation. When Joe finally reveals the trick, she's /this/ close to literally face-palming, and while she's considering the matter, she shoves the phone back into her bag with a little sigh. The crowd clearly doesn't make her any happier about the situation, and she's quite clearly restraining herself from lashing out so publicly. Finally she just runs a hand through her hair, gripping it tightly for a moment, then letting that arm drop to her side. But just as quickly, she's leaning in close to Joe, up on her toes so that she can hiss-whisper, "I'll lose your stupid game, but dinner is as /acquaintances/." And then she's stepping back again, all wide, fake smiles, and even goes so far as to press her forefinger against her lip in an exaggeratedly 'cute', thoughtful expression. "Well golly, Mr. Dupont, I bet it's in your left hand. What do you think?" Joe's stage face actually cracks slightly when Lilia whispers her admission. He's obviously not surprised that she knows the trick is rigged. What trick /isn't/? But apparently he fully expected her to exercise Option Three in this little scenario. He blinks, having lost his place for a moment, and then his smile returns, but without the staged-ness of it. Oddly enough, even though his sincere smile reveals /more/ crooked teeth than his stage smile, it actually lights up his whole face, and seems like something he had to remember how to do. "Sorry, wrong hand," he says softly. The little crowd smiles knowingly, and then someone clears their throat when a barista starts making his way to come out from behind the bar to deal with the scene-makers. Joe opens his right hand to reveal the square device, and a glossy black business card with white lettering on it. 'The Stupendous Zerah' the card proclaims, with phone, facebook, and tumblr contact info. He holds the items out for Lilia. "I never got your name, miss. I'm Joe." There is a brief moment where Lilia doesn't look /quite/ so irritated with the situation as she has been, but it's quickly replaced by -- more irritation, even as she snatches the Square back and, after a brief hesitation, the card. Which she does even look over for a brief moment before glancing away again. "They give them away for free, you know," she notes, as the crowd disperses, and she makes another vague effort to move into a less 'in the way' spot, closer to the wall. "The card swipers." And as she points that out, she drops that into her bag as well. And once again she looks at the card, nodding briefly. "White on black. Non-standard. Cute." Slipping it into a side pocket on her bag, she then digs through it in search of something-- and comes up with a black cardigan. The bag is set on the floor while she pulls the garment on, buttoning it up to cover the coffee stain on her dress, and re-situates the bag on her shoulder. "Later this week. I'll text you." Then, just as abruptly as the two met, she turns to head right back out of the cafe, seemingly without another word-- but just before she gets out of earshot she turns her head over her shoulder to add, "Lily." And with that she's gone and out the door, with just the thunk of the door to signal her departure. Joe nods when she gives her name and then nods to himself once she's out the door. "Yeah... sure you will," he mutters to himself, not at all convinced. Then he's avoiding the barista's 'may I help you' face by rejoining the line and just perusing the menu over the counter as if nothing interesting had just happened.