ArchivedLogs:Vignette - Here's To Us

Vignette - Here's To Us
Dramatis Personae Anette
In Absentia	New Year's Eve '
Location <BOM> The Spatters - Ascension Island
Instead of the New Year countdown, the TV is playing the ending of “It’s a Wonderful Life.” Still, the watch on Anette’s wrist has been synchronized to the second and it’s only three minutes until 2016. A glass of wine in one hand and what little is left of the bottle in her left, she makes her way to the couch, sipping at her wine and grabbing a blanket off the back and draping it over her. New Year's Eve is about new beginnings, right? It’s about time for a fresh start. 2015 had been one hell of a year. She dreamed of the future; she (sorta) had a child; she (kinda) died; she became an addict; she quit; she relapsed; she murdered an entire house full of drug dealers; she fell in love; she had a broken heart… As her mind heads in that direction, she can’t help but glance towards Daken’s door. She had been in their earlier and only just now noticed that the door didn’t close fully. She fell in love. Despite her best efforts, she let someone in close to her. She loved him, cared for him. “I…suppose we could do a trial run. Of sorts.” That’s what she said when Daken pushed her to make something more of their relationship. She was confused at the time, still reeling over the future dreams. A year earlier she never would have guessed she was capable of love or creating a family. But then she was shown images of a future with both occurring. So she let Daken in. It was an experiment. She was certain the fire would burn out, that they would blow up and that would be the end of that. But it didn’t. He loved her and she loved him. Anette takes a large sip of her wine, half watching the movie while her watch marches on. Two minutes. Despite her best efforts, she can’t focus, her mind still sifting through memories. She had loved and lost for the first time and she was still hurting. Next year she would not make that mistake. Moments from her life with Daken flashed before her eyes. Constant arguing. Punches being thrown. Him being shot, a glass shard in his eye, constantly seeing him covered in blood, always fearing for him despite his healing factor... Without thinking, Anette reaches up to wipe a stray tear that had escaped her eye and began a slow descent down her face. That was what hurt the most. Every time she saw him hurt or dead, no matter how temporary, her heart would stop. Anyone else would have been collateral damage. It’s how she had to think of it; anyone could go at any time. In the end, the only thing that mattered was getting yourself out. If someone got left behind, that was the price. But for him..she would have gone back for him. She would have died for him. And that was something she could not afford to feel again. One minute. But it hadn’t been all bad. She knew he felt the same way. She knew everyone on the island had her back as she had there’s. But Daken was different. Never before had she had anyone she could rely on, no one she trusted more than him. Having someone who would at, at the drop of a hat, be there for her had been nice. And the little moments, the date nights, sitting on the couch watching TV, his arm wrapped around her, her head laying on his shoulder. He was intoxicating: his warmth, his scent. Ten seconds. She glanced to the other side of the couch. She should be drinking champagne with him, planning the next year, kissing him at midnight. Nine seconds. Anette squirmed uncomfortably. Despite her reluctance to admit it, she missed it. Not just him, she knew it wasn’t meant to be. But what they had was good. Eight seconds. Maybe she was wrong. As much as she pushed Pedro and Killian and others away, maybe she was wrong. Maybe she could do love. Seven seconds. Love was weakness. That’s what she told everyone. It was a liability and did nothing but bring you down. But without Daken, she realized how much stronger she felt with him. Six seconds. Her relapse. She hadn’t used since but knowing she failed still haunted her. She hadn’t been able to resist the temptation. But that wasn’t true. She hadn’t been able to resist it /alone/. Five seconds. She had used coke to drown out her feelings. Her head wanted to be alone but her heart wanted more. Coke was the only way to quiet them both. Four seconds. Even now, old habits were hard to break. The wine made her brain fuzzy, temporarily forcing down the walls she had formed around herself. Tomorrow, who knows what she would believe? Three seconds. Anette gives up on the movie and turns it off. She tilts her glass back, finishing it off before setting it and the bottle on the floor. Two seconds. She rises and makes her way to Daken’s door. Clasping her hand on the knob, she pauses. One second. Closing her eyes, she gives the door a gentle tug, closing it. Midnight. The alarm on her phones goes off, blasting a random song at full volume. Here’s to us, here’s to love. All the times that we’ve fucked up. Here’s to you, fill the glass. Cuz the last few days have kicked my ass… Anette reaches into her pocket, pulling out her phone and turning the alarm off and whispering, “Happy New Year.”