ArchivedLogs:Hanging onto Hope

Hanging onto Hope
Dramatis Personae Kelly, Mallory
In Absentia	2013-11-07 In the garden Mallory tries to keep hope alive at Xavier's.
Location <XS> Gardens
Winter having not yet completely set in, there was still some green to spot in the gardens, though flowers or anything much more colorful than that would be just a memory here. Except... for one little spot of brightness and pink bending over near a set of bushes to peer down at his own reflection in the koi pond. Wearing clothing provided by the school, he's smattered with it's logos, and shivering a little as he's without even a jacket at the moment, bare arms and ripped collar allowing Kelly's barks, leaves, and flowers to soak in the sunlight this afternoon. But there is a little browning at the edges of those flowers, and as one petal drops off and falls into the pool, one of the koi happily splashes up to bite at it. "Hey!" he laughs out, wiping some of the water that splashed out off his face. Even with the fading greenery and chill weather, the gardens at Xavier's are a welcome respite from the stately rooms and sick people of the Mansion currently. Having avoided the dreaded illness, by some miracle, Mallory is now making her way out from the conservatory and into the gardens with a slow, thoughtful pace, the sound of her hooves deadened by the leaves covering the paths. She seems lost in thought, hands clasped behind her back, drawn, tired look on her face as she ambles through the gardens. Her attire for the day is decidedly more casual than normal, with a pair of black yoga pants that flare slightly to accomodate and disguise her legs, paired with a black tank top and sweat shirt bearing the school's logo. Her long hair is pulled back into a messy braid, rumpled enough to look like she slept in the style and didn't bother to fix it. Her eyes settle on Kelly as she approaches, staying back at a distance, on the other side of the koi pond, as she greets him, "Hello Kelly. Keeping the koi company?" Kelly looks down at the fist and nods. "Some one has to." he admits, frowning as another petal drips down to join the first one, and then rolling down off his toes to sit with a 'huff' on his rump instead, pulling his knees up to his chest and letting his vines wrap from arm to arm protectively. "Actually, I just needed some sun and fresh air... not... not really been getting a lot of it lately." Slowly he turns his head up to the teacher, with empty eyes, defeated. "I hope... you're ok?" Mallory regards Kelly with a sad, weary look on her features, but stands up, neatening out her attire and offering a faint smile. She slowly makes her way around the pond, carefully approaching the student, but still maintaining a safe distance, just in case. "I'm ok, thank you," she responds, with a slight nod of her head, "Are you well?" The librarian looks him over slowly, her own eyes perhaps reflecting his deafeated look, "I realize this is a ... less than ideal introduction to the school, and I do apologize for that." She takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly, "If... you are having difficulty getting outside, ah, because of the situation. Perhaps we can see if we have some sunlamps that you could utilize inside? It may not be a perfect solution, but it would be at least a supplement to braving your way to the gardens." "I'm just... tired." Kelly admits, closing his eyes and taking a big deep breath in... as much through his skin as through his lungs. "And... I'm not sick or anything, yet." he allows not quite darkly but... exhausted. "And, yeah, guess I shouldn't have said no the first time." Kelly slowly pulls one hand away from his knees to stroke the leaves of the bush he was hunched near, and the bush itself seems to 'pull' it self to get closer to that hand. "The lamp would be nice... its getting colder." he shivers to say, obviously wearing less than the ideal layers for the situation. "But I feel safer out here. Besides, the other kids are inside and they don't wanna make friends with someone new, not when they can lose them tomorrow. I can't blame them, and it makes everything I was worried about when I came here seem... petty. Pointless." Mallory takes a seat on one of the nearby benches, letting the tip of her long, tapered tail twitch at the edge of the pathway. "I am not sick, either," she says quietly, a not of amazement in her voice as she speaks, "Just. Very tired. It is an exhausting time, for all of us." She nods, about the lamp, "I'll look around the garden today before I head inside. If I can find a working lamp, I'll let you know. It shouldn't be too much trouble. Even if outside is nicer - it would be good to have for the inevitable snow storms this region has." There's a wince, and a sad look, at the thought of loss, her voice catching as she speaks, "Your worries weren't petty, not at all. And many of us are... frightened at the prospect of losing someone. New friend or old. It is, well, a distressingly real prospect." With a small sniffle Kelly tries to keep her from noticing... poorly executed regardless, he looks up and asks: "I know you're probably worried about your friends, and the kids you know. I... you were all right, you know? Mr. Aloke, Ducky, Rasa, Faelan... there are a lot of really nice people here. I wish I'd gotten more of a chance to get to know them. I'm sure I would have liked it here. I bet this place really was great for people like us, wasn't it?" Mallory may be wrapped up in her thoughts, but the sniffle doesn't elude her notice, and she looks at him with sad eyes. "Oh, Kelly. Don't... don't give up hope, please," she says quietly, taking a steadying breath, her tone even, though it catches when he mentions Aloke, "We'll get through this. It's not..." She sighs softly, closing her eyes, "This isn't the end. This school is an amazing place, it really is. With amazing, brilliant people." She rests her hands in her lap, sitting quietly for a long moment, her voice determined but wavering, "It's not over yet. There's got to be some cure for it. There has to be." It isn't clear if she's trying to convince Kelly of this, or if she's trying to convince herself. Or possibly some of both. Sadness and helplessness slowly build to frustration, looking at his reflection again, Kelly sees the flower on his forehead and then reaches up with a clenched fist and violently pulls it out with a grunt. "I wish I could do anything, I wish I was good for anything." he says through that frustration as he just throws that little pink beautiful part of him into the pond, a trickle of green falling down his face where it once was. He tries to keep that little personal frustration from dominating, though, and instead looks up with a nod to Mallory. "I hope you're right, I mean, you've gotta be or..." and a sudden break to "You and Mr. Aloke are friends, right? Is... is he doing ok?" A sympathetic wince contracts Mallory's features, when Kelly rips the cheery little flower from his head, eyes following the trickle of blood down his forehead. "I realize this is not going to be helpful. But I understand your frustration. I have never felt so helpless or useless in my /life/," she says with a sigh, running a hand along one curling ram's horn, unwilling to meet Kelly's gaze. "I'm an adult. A teacher here, no less. I'm supposed to be able to help, to protect, to guide. And I can do /nothing/ to help," her voice cracks slightly, and she stares into the reflective surface of the pond, frowning, "We can't give up hope. Not yet. Not ever" His question, however, seems to find the crack in her composure, and dig into it; fanged teeth bite down on her lower lip to keep it from quivering obviously, though her shoulders shudder from a supressed sob. "We... yes. He is... sick. But not gone. Not yet," she says, pausing to draw a deep breath occasionally. "I," she sighs, "I apologize, Kelly. I'm not being a very good or convincing teacher right now." Kelly shakes his head and uses his hand to wipe his forehead clean. "Its ok, I'm not a very good student." he says forcing a laugh out despite the tears and the sorrow. "And you're actually... I'd say you're doing pretty wonderful right now, everything considered. And... I'm really glad the kids have someone like you looking after them. I think they need it." The wall was obvious, there, keeping himself and the other students at this school apart in his mind. "I really really hope he's going to be ok, though... he was really nice. And, I hate for bad things to happen to nice people." "Here," Mallory says, holding out a clean, white handkercheif, one corner embroidered with the initials ~M.E.W.~ in lavender thread, with a dainty little embroidered daisy in white and yellow thread, "It's ok. It'll be ok, I... I'm sure of it." She stutters a moment, offering a sad smile, looking Kelly in the eyes intently, "I'm sure you'll be an excellent student. You just haven't had a fair shot yet. Once this is all done with, classes will start back up. You'll get to go to classes, and prove just how great you can be, ok?" She rests her arms on her knees, sighing, "I'm looking after you, too. I may not have had a chance to see you in class, but you're still one of my students, and I'll be here you, as best I can." There's another flinch, and Mallory nods slowly, finally dropping her gaze back to the surface of the pond, "I hope so, too. I really do." Taking the offered kercheif, Kelly dabs it on his head, pulling it away once to look at his own green, then putting it back, even as his skin started to grow just a shade lighter. "Thanks," he says softly, keeping the pressure on it now until it stops bleeding. "Do you really think things can go on like normal after this, though? I mean, even if-" he stops himself to say strongly "even WHEN everyone gets better... a lot of the kids have gone home and... worse. Will you want to stay?" Mallory sighs, fidgetting with her hands, as she looks into the pond, absent mindedly explaining, "You're welcome. You can keep it, if you need. I have a... well, I have enough of them. Mother forced me to learn to embroider when I was a child - I have stacks of those things still." There's a deep breath, shuddering as it escapes in a long sigh, "To normal? Not for some time, no. Eventually? Yes. Kids will return, new students will arive." She smiles, nodding, sadness on her features, "Stay? As long as I am needed and welcomed on staff. I don't have many other places I can go, not many other places would hire me, least of all to teach." Running a hand through her hair, she chuckles, a touch of bitterness in her voice, "I really don't have anywhere else to go." "I guess I don't either." Kelly answered as well, reaching forward to touch the water with his other hand. He even manages to laugh a ticklish laugh as one of the coy nibbles lightly on the finger for a moment. "I thought about running away again, you know, on my own... but... where would I go? Especially now. Its half a wonder I lived long enough to make it here BEFORE people were getting sick. Besides..." he trails on for a moment, clinging to a happy thought to hope to. "One of the girls here called my flowers pretty. That's the first time anyone said anything nice about them." Chuckling lightly, Mallory nods, "There is much to be said for a safe place with people who don't judge on appearances, isn't there?" She sighs, glancing back at the mansion, "I woldn't leave here now. I couldn't. I considered it, briefly. Running away. But I care about what happens to the people here. I can't..." She shakes her head, smiling at the mention of his flowers, and the compliment, "See? I promise. This place is normally considerably more positive. It will be again, I'm certain of it."