ArchivedLogs:The Road Back

The Road Back
Dramatis Personae Alexandrine, Dan
In Absentia	2013-06-10 '
Location On the road north of Westchester
There's been a few minutes of silence since the rather difficult task of leaving Mei and Collie at a safehouse Xavier had provided Alex with information with when she'd gone to him, looking for an answer on how to keep Dan's kids safe. Red hair is braided back, snaking over her shoulder nearest the window. There's still drinks and snacks in the bag in her footwell, though they aren't /that/ far north of the city. Just far enough into the upstate, and rural enough, to make sure the kids were safe. Though she's relaxed a bit, confident the kids will be well taken care of, perhaps even spoiled, she's got plenty of tension. There are faint shadows beneath blue eyes, and her face is paler than usual and drawn. She watches Dan quietly from under lowered lashes as he heads back towards the city. If Alex is tense, then Dan is a spring that's about to snap into a sharp uncoiling. Dressed in jeans and a blue t-shirt, the ex-soldier's hands are clenched around the steering wheel, and his jaw works slightly in the uncomfortable silence. His mind roils with the memories of the morning. Of the news. Of the long and heated debate about even /going/ to the safehouse. And, below it all, a deep and abiding fear for Colleen and Mei, twisted up with the idea that leaving them there is a betrayal of some kind. Which clenches his hands tighter, until white shows along his knuckles. << Son of a bitch. I should have taken them to Davey's, but she's right. How'm I ever gonna be able to look either of them in the eye again? >> Which comes with a roll of mental nausea strong enough to cause the car to wobble. Dan speaks, then, for the first time in many miles. His voice cracks, which shows you how long it's been since he's used it. "Baby." It's a quiet request. "Reach in the glove compartment and get my meds?" He swallows, his mouth working. "And is there anything left in my soda cup? My throat feels like fire." Rogue pages: Would he have told Alex about his brother? As stressed out as she feels, tired as she is, and as concerned, she can't help but being open to listening. "Dan, Ah know you love your brother. He and his partner would have loved having the kids, Ah am sure. But would they have really been safe? Your family would know where they were. They'd never /mean/ to tell, but... What if someone came looking for Collie, and someone slipped? This way, only you know. The Professor knows, Ah know, and the MacIntyres know. It's safer this way." Even as she's talking, she's getting out Dan's meds, and spinning the cap off a bottle of water, preparing to hand them over. "Ah'd have brought them to the school, but we're not prepared for a little girl like Collie, sugar." Dan is nodding as Alex speaks, either too keyed up to realize she's responding to his inner thoughts or too tired to care. "I know, baby. It makes more sense this way. It's just --" He presses his lips together, and holds out his hand for the meds, twitching two fingers to indicate the number of small white pills he requires. "I've never left Collie with anyone who wasn't family," he says, his brow furrowing. "I bet the poor kid is scared out of her mind." He frowns, suddenly, his mind rolling through the contents of Colleen's backpack. Shirts, shoes, pants, books.... "Did she have her stuffed pony with her? She can't sleep without that damned thing." He may be rattling to cover his increasingly frazzled nerves. "Did Mei have her notebook? All her work is in there." Alexandrine hands over the pills, and then offers over the bottled water. "Yes, she had it. She showed me the pony herself when Ah got in the car. Mei was writing in something on the way up here, Ah'm assuming that was her notebook. Relax. Both kids were bewildered, yes. But Ah also explained it would be like an adventure. The Macs have horses and a pool and things, baby. Think of it as a super awesome summer camp with rich, super nice older counselors." Dan slaps his hand over his mouth, tossing the pills to the back of his throat and immediately reaching for the water and washing them down. He swallows audibly, then takes another long draught of water. Then he's handing the bottle back, rolling his neck before swallowing and nodding. "Good," he says, letting his hand linger on the console, palm up and fingers slightly curled. "They need the stuff they like with 'em." His voice still sounds a little hoarse, and he's fighting back a wall of sadness, biding his time until the meds kick in. When Alexandrine mentions the stuff to do around the place, he suddenly barks a laugh. "I don't even know if either of them know how to swim," he admits, his eyebrows lifting so he can stare bleakly at the road ahead. "Or ride a horse. Maybe Mei. She grew up on a farm. But I don't think Collie's been on any horse that wasn't on a merry-go-round." "Then they can learn, and be safe, and away from things that would hurt or scare them. They can learn to feed the horses, and probably pick berries and things. Learn to swim, gawd only knows what else. They'll have plenty to do, and we can worry less about them." Alex says again, carefully using the most subtle feelings to try and relax him. She's treating this exercise of her powers like one would the defusing of a bomb. "Pick berries?" For some reason, Dan finds that /very/ funny, and he begins to snort with laughter, eventually dropping his jaw to fill the cabin of the car with his baritone merriment. It goes on long enough to maybe be a little alarming, but fades before anything like hysteria filters into it. The wall of sadness is pushed back, though, and his mind is beginning to settle, a bit, perhaps under those gentle ministrations. "Pick berries," he echoes as the laughter dies away, offering another little snort. "You make it sound like Mayberry or somethin'." He frowns. "Although, it /was/ a nice place," he admits, and the sidelong look he gives Alex is narrowed in its focus. "And this MacIntyre guy -- he'll keep 'em safe? He's some sort of badass dude or somethin'?" "Ah swear Ah saw wild raspberry bushes out in the back. What's wrong with pickin' berries? Ah did it as a kid." Alex does not see the humor. "He has to be. The Professor would never give me a safehouse for a little four year old that /wouldn't/ be protected." Dan chuckles. "I just never saw my kid pickin' berries," he says with a lift of his shoulders. "She's a city kid. I pictured her -- " he breaks off, wrinkling his nose. "Well, I didn't picture berry-picking," he says, ignoring the bleak memory flashes that show the bleaker future he'd imagined for his kid. Not as bleak as the /current/ situation, but not a very nice one. "She's three," he corrects absently. "People always think she's older, 'cause she talks so well." Then he sighs, and tips his head to look at Alex more fully. "It's probably goin' to be a while before I'm relaxed about this," he says apologetically. "But thank you for helpin' me take care of my kids." "She's a kid. Berry picking and swimming in the summer should be normal." Alex teases. "Hell, she might end up being taught how to read or something. Ah think Mrs. Mac was an elementary teacher, once. " There's a shrug, before blue eyes look over at him. "What was Ah gonna do, sit on my hands and not make sure they were somewhere safe?" Dan laughs. "Hell, she can already read, some," he says. "I read to her all the time, and I know Katie reads to her. She was bound to start picking it up on her own." His mood definitely seems to be lightening as he looks back at the road. His smile fades a bit when Alex responds, and he shrugs. "Yeah, I don't see you as the sittin' on the sidelines type. But I still appreciate it. It's a lot to ask, from a girlfriend." He waggles his fingers over the steering wheel. "'Oh, hey, the world's gone to shit, and I need to get my little kid and my adopted daughter who's wanted by the Triads out of town. Wanna come? We can get Burgertown on the way.'" It's a dark humor, but there's a definite crinkle to his eyes. "I warned you messin' with me was trouble." Alexandrine is silent for a moment, her eyes straight ahead, her face rather blank of its usual open expressions. "Well, getting involved with me was trouble. Hell, it /is/ trouble." She finally breaks the silence with, looking at him. "The Triads can kiss my southern ass, it's the /cops/ Ah'm afraid of. Never thought Ah would ever have to say that." There's a beat, as she swallows against the lump in her throat. "You know Ah have to stay at the school, right?" Dan swallows in mimic of Alex's. "Yeah," he says. "I know you do. Hell, I fucking insist on it." He's not completely convinced, and there's a stab of impending loneliness mingled with fear, and another cut of guilt along his mind as he thinks of the last policeman he saw. Boozy and weirdly aggressive, and related. Then he closes his eyes in a slow blink, the car slowling just a bit. "And it's not like we can't talk on the phone, right?" is a little over-bright, as is the sudden grin he offers. "And we can Skype or whatever." "Dan... Ah... Ah don't know how long it'll be until it's safe to come to the city again. Ah'm not an obvious mutant, but with the way things are... the way /Ah am/.. you know Ah couldn't take seeing someone get beat on, or... and then Ah'd end up in police custody, and it isn't exactly like they're followin' the rules." Alex manages. "If... you don't wanna consider us together until things calm down, or if you want to see other people... straight up humans.. Ah'd understand." The needle slides across the grooves in Dan's mind, and now the car /really/ slows down, veering toward a spot on the shoulder that looks wide enough to house a car safely. Dan is silent until the car comes to a complete stop, and his hands tighten on the wheel. << Holy fuck. Is this happening? What the fuck? >> He blinks a couple of times, and his brow furrows. "Are you trying to break up with me?" he asks, shifting the car into neutral and pushing the hazard lights button. "Seriously?" Alexandrine looks alarmed at first, at the car pulling over. "Dan, are you..." Then she /hears/, and not just with her ears. Blue eyes are sad, even as she shakes her head. "No, that... Dan, Ah've been so busy with working and everything, you don't see me near as much as either of us want.. and Ah.. well ..." She's blushing furiously, suddenly. "Ah haven't exactly been satisfyin' certain needs you have. That's all on me, an' Ah know it. But it's not /safe/ for you to be seen with me right now. Just saying...if someone showed up that.. um.. you wanted... you could indulge. Let people think you're not with me anymore. Ah'm not breaking up with you. Ah just... gawd, this sounds so stupid out loud." She shakes her head hard, a second, as if to clear it. "Ah just mean if you want to see other people, maybe get lucky...and make it so people don't wonder about your redheaded girlfriend and ask questions... Ah don't want anyone targetin' you because of me. Just... thinking you could play it cool, like we /did/ break up. Still talk and everything, but ... you've been hurt and tortuered enough because of people like me.. The last thing Ah could handle would be someone hurting you because you date me." Dan is grinding his teeth through this, clamping down on his thoughts to actually listen to what Alex is saying -- and what she's not saying. He frowns, and pushes the car into park, pulling the emergency brake so he can release the wheel and reach for her. An awkward proposition with his seatbelt on, but he manages it, somehow. "First of all, we're not going back down the sex road again," he says with a small smile. "I went three years before I met you without feeling any keen loss of function; I think I can manage to wait for the woman I love to feel comfortable enough to take that step. And I ain't gonna give you up so quick just because some blonde bimbo waves a bit of trim in my face," he rumbles. His hands work their way around Alex's waist as well as they can (seatbelts!), and he shakes his head. "I'm not worried about any of that," he says. "You know that crazy chick I told you about? The head of the O'Shaugnessy family? They've got my back." Which might not be the best selling point, but he grins encouragingly. "Anyone fucks with me, they'll deal with it." "You didn't have a girlfriend then, either. You were still in mourning. This is totally different." Dear Dan, you know what they say about redheads? Well... here it is, in the form of your girl. "And Ah don't know /when/ Ah will ever be comfortable enough. What.. What if Ah slip? What if Ah send you into a flashback in the friggin' middle of things? Ah could hurt us /both/!" Her chin comes up just a touch. "Ah'm not sayin' man-slut it up, here. Ah'm sayin' you can play it cool, and act like you're havin' casual sex. Ya can do that, can't you? Ah'd rather you do that, than have anyone have to deal with /anything/. Ah'm not gonna get jealous!" "Good," Dan says, his jaw setting firmly. "'Cause I'm not gonna give you any reason to be." His eyebrows lift, and he tilts his head with a very determined look. It goes well with his very determined thinking. "And I ain't gonna /pretend/ shit," he emphasizes, shaking his head. "You're my girl, and if people don't like it, well...fuck 'em. I'll move up here and get a little farm, and give the world the big, fat bird." His thoughts line right up with that, a flicker of someone asking about the future of the couple. A young someone. "I'm not goin' anywhere, an' I ain't coolin' things off just 'cause we got to be apart for a bit. It's not like I'm sendin' you off to Normandy or nothin'." "You're not listening to me!" Alex says, her frustration bubbling up, straining at her already weak control. "Ah want you to be safe. And you are /such/ a city boy, you, on a farm?" There's serious disbelief there. "Dan.. it's not safe to let the world know you date a mutant. Or even let them suspect. At least not in the city, it's not. And things /are/ gonna be cooled off. Ah have to help keep a slew of students calm, cool, and /entertained/. Ah'm not going to be able to come to the city, and you can't come to me there!" Dan's own frustration is an angry surge, and he withdraws back into the driver's seat to glare at the steering wheel. Then, suddenly, a dam breaks, and he beats on the steering wheel in impotent rage for a full minute, his mind a seething cauldron of.../stuff/. There's too much to pick out any one emotion. When he stops, he sits in his seat as if he were numb, staring at the cars passing dully. His brain is trying to catch up, ineffectively grabbing at stray thoughts that slip away like quicksilver. "So," he finally says, in a quiet voice. "Today I lose my brother, my kids, and my girlfriend. Okay." He sounds like he's making a to-do list. He reaches up to run a thumb over his left eye, and then grabs the steering wheel while he drops the emergency brake. "So am I dropping you at the school?" Alexandrine flinches as he beats on the steering wheel, both from the sudden violence of action, and the boiling over of things in his head that she's just too worn thin to block out. "Dan.." She starts. Once he drops the brake, she yanks it back into position. "STOP. You aren't losing me. Ah am not goin' anywhere. Ah just want us to play it cool a while, until it's not full on war on mutants in the city!" Her hand lashes out to catch at his forearm. "No. Damnit, Dan..." There's the tiniest pause. "Lose your brother?" Dan's arm is steel under Alex's touch, but his skin dances at the contact. There's a small part of his brain that lightens at the contact, like a lamp far off in a dark house. "Baby -- Alex." He stops for a moment, and takes a deep breath. "I told you I'd wait. But you have /got/ to stop with the sex stuff, and believe me when I tell you that it doesn't bother me." He exhales roughly. "You want to play it cool, and not talk for a while? That's fine, baby. I can understand keeping someone you love safe...but you're not dying or nothin', so stop trying to foist me off on some unknown chick that I probably wouldn't look twice at, anyway." The mention of his brother unlocks a new set of memories in Dan's mind. An angry confrontation with an older cop who looks like a stockier version of Dan. Ugly words exchanged; his brother reaching for his gun. The stench of booze and bitterness that filled the hall. "My oldest brother, Mikey, is a cop," he explains with a frown. "He came by this morning to tell me to get Colleen out of the city. He was drunk, and it didn't go very well. But the things he said to me and the fact that he went for his gun -- he didn't draw it, but he put his hand on it, like I was some two-bit crackhead thief or something..." he trails off, staring out down the road. "Well, we probably won't be speaking for a long time." Alexandrine just stares at Dan, lost in the replay for a moment. "And you wonder why Ah have this plan. Christ, Dan! Your own brother would probably /shoot me/, if he knew. Shoot you! Ah know you hung out with anti-mutant types before we got together. Don't you think they might wonder why you changed your tune? Really?" "I know why you have the plan, babe," Dan says in a weary sort of voice. "I just don't /like/ it. But it's probably best, at least until things cool off." His jaw tightens. "If my brother tried to shoot you, he would be dead before he hit the floor," he says darkly, his eyes narrowing. "Anyone who tries to hurt you." Then he snorts. "Baby, before you came along, I didn't hang out with anyone, really. Just the guys at Molly's, and they're too stupid to even be good bigots. I might have my problems with mutants, but they've always been my own." He smiles tightly. "With Colleen around, I couldn't really risk hanging out with extremists. It was safer to just be angry by myself." "Ah know what you used to think, Dan. Ah... Ah just don't want anyone who knows wondering why that changed when Ah came around." Alex's voice is quiet, her hand finding his, holding it. "It's war, sugar. It's like Hitler and his hit list. So far... you're not on it. Ah am. Ah can't drag you with me." She leans in, barely kissing him. Dan smirks. "That's a pretty short list," he says of people who know about his previous anger. "But I know what you're saying. Really." His smile is weak, and he lifts a shoulder as his fingers close around her slender digits. "Like I said, I know the whys, I just don't like it very much." He leans into that kiss, pushing his lips firmly against hers and closing his eyes. "I love you," he murmurs against her lips, pressing another kiss there. It comes with a strong pulse of that emotion that's a bit dizzying. There's a whimper in her throat, at those three words, the redhead moving to hold onto Dan as much as she can. Damn seatbelts. "Ah'm sorry. Ah know you hate it. But.. Ah can't be reckless, like Ah woulda been before. Not working where Ah do. Ah can't sneak around in the city, there are cops that know about me. Or at least suspect." "No," Dan agrees, rolling his head to rest his forehead against Alex's. "Those kids need you, to help keep 'em safe. That's important." He seems more relaxed, now. A bit clearer, if a bit worn around the edges. "We'll get through this, babe," he promises. "And when it's over, I'm taking you out for the fanciest night on the town ever." His mind fills with flash-memories of their first date, embellished just a bit in recollection. "We'll even dance." Alexandrine just clings, cuddling for another moment or two. "We just have to wait for this to all die down, and morons to be voted out of office. Ah mean, New York is so blue it's practically midnight blue. It can't last, right?" Dan is content to cuddle, for as long as Alex wants to. His fingers come up to stroke along her braid, and he rubs his nose against hers before he plants a soft kiss there. "Not long enough to matter, baby." Alexandrine lingers another moment longer, before she sits up. "Can you drop me off in Westchester, baby? Some things Ah need to grab before I go back to the school." Her hand holds his for another moment, then she lets go. Dan nods as he sits back up, and adjusts his weight in the seat. "Sure," he says with a nod. "That's close enough to the school that somone can come and get you, right?" It's probably rhetorical, as he's already dropping the emergency brake again and easing back out onto the road. Whatever the answer is, it will probably lead into a conversation that lasts all the way into town. A conversation filled with almost-goodbyes that mostly pass along that delicate mental bridge, and linger long after he's dropped Alex off with a few sound kisses and made his way back to the city. Hopefully, it will be enough to tide them over.