ArchivedLogs:Looking to the Future

Looking to the Future
Professor Laser Scott, serious tutor.
Dramatis Personae Faelan, Scott
In Absentia	2013-04-23 Faelan gets advising on the future, and causes Scott to show some slight emotion
Location <XS> Classroom One
Xavier's is a very high profile private school, which some parents would pay top dollar for their children to go to. Some do - but all of them receive top notch care and are attended to personally by the various faculty and staff in attendance with the Xavier School. So it should be no surprise when Faelan learns he has an appointment with Scott Summers, one of the leading administrators and teachers at the School for Gifted Youngers. Sometimes the guy has a reputation for being a stickler for the rules and fairly hell-bent on excellence, but that's just the talk. Faelan's had limited contact with him thus far, except as a straight-laced teacher in some of the math classes. Light streams in through the class window blinds, the classroom set aside for the brief chat that they're going to have. Scott has a stack of files he's attending to at the desk he's seated at, and there's a chair especially for Faelan when he comes in. All the papers have "Faelan" on them, somewhere. Opening the door slowly, Faelens eyes took in the room before he finally managed to step in. Having heard from some of the others that the teachers were in bad moods from recent events, he was fairly drawn in on himself, body language screaming anxiety. His over large jeans went wiff wiff against the floor, the young looking fellow shuffling to get to the designated seat. With hands firmly resting in the sweat shirts sleaves, he did finally take the chair with only a faint scraping of seat against floor. Looking first to Scott, then the papers on the desk, he kept his mouth shut as he waited. "Thank you for coming in today, Faelan. I appreciate you stepping in. I'll make this brief - it's just a check up to see how you're doing, specifically how you're coping with, learning about, and feeling about your mutant effects," Scott explains matter-of-factly as he shifts in the chair, dropping the current note pile he's accumulated back onto the desk. He laces his fingers and puts them on the desk in front of him, his red visor staring at Faelan uninterruptedly. "In your own words, how do you feel about your teleportation effects, currently?" Blinking at Scott, confusion went over his face in an instant. Faelan had obviously been thinking this was a yelling session, and being presented with a question about his powers he hadn't quite seemed prepared, specially since he was asked for his own words. "Um, its good for keeping me safe. But, I'm a danger to others." With his mind racing back to getting told that what he'd done was wrong by another teacher though, his confusion deflated into anxiety and worry again. "I don't want to hurt anyone else. I just..," he was having trouble finding the words he wanted, so it just trailed into silence at that. "You just?" Scott presses, his brow bunching over his visor. He seems patient enough and concerned enough to want to hear the end of that statement. Being pressed, Faelan drew more into himself, body language bunching in. "I just don't want anyone to hurt me again. If making someone else go away keeps me safe, then I will do it anyway." The words came out more forcefully than intended, but he was told it was wrong so often he had to say it wasn't. "I don't hurt anyone directly with what I do. I don't cut them, or hit them or burn or anything bad." He really was seeming to be reassuring and rationalizing himself as the words came out. "It shouldn't be wrong to defend myself. I'm sorry if I don't always know if something is really a threat though. Things scare me a lot." Scott leans back in his chair and visually assessed Faelan. He was turning over the words in his mind, trying to precisely develop exactly what he was going to say before he said it. "Mr. Carter," he begins, "this is your last year with the Xavier School for Gifted Youngsters, right? You'll be graduating soon, it's your senior year." Nodding at the words, Faelan seemed somewhat sad. "I know. And then I'm supposed to go out there, and go to college, and be a productive member of society." Sighing ans letting his head drop down dejectly, he said "Out there, where theres all the people who hate mutants, and just plain criminals. The therapists said that I can't keep hiding from the world, that I just reinforce my own fears by rejecting reality." Shaking his head, he crossed his hands over his chest. "And out there I'll get fined for using my powers, even if someone is actually trying to hurt me. Its crap." "You seem very frustrated with your current situation, Faelan," Scott says evenly, putting his finger on his temple and tapping it a couple of times as he considers Faelan. "There are less criminals and people who hate mutants than you'd think - but point taken. You're worried about your future. This is what I want to ask you, Mr. Carter - in your ideal world, where do you see yourself in a year's time? In terms of personal development." Thinking about the future usually was thinking about horrible things planning on doing him harm, but Faelan hadn't really thought about personal development. "I don't know. I guess trying not to use my powers accidentally? Being less afraid of everything?" Letting out a sigh, and trying to calm himself down, he frowned. "I keep getting told how cool my powers are, that I could be some sort of master spy. But I don't care about that. I mean, why should I go sneaking into places? I know that I could help people out if I could get my powers to work right, but maybe thats how my powers are supposed to work." Seeming frustrated, he glanced back at the door he came in. "I don't want to be afraid. I just want to have a life, but I don't even know what kind of life I could have outside the school. I don't know what I'm good at, outside of the training you guys have given me to not end up getting killed by ending up in a bad environment." "Have you checked out any of the clubs? Have you taken any electives you enjoyed?" Scott asks blithely, running a hand through his hair. "Not really. I'm not really good at most sports outside of track and field and most clubs are full of a lot of people." Faelan's paperwork had shown he had fairly good marks most activities, as long as they didn't revolve around group sports or projects. "I like science and stuff though. I'm not really good like the geniuses, but well I know a lot about plants and animals." He was relaxing in the chair as he was getting distracted from other topics. "I don't mind traveling, I'm kinda used to it by now. And I read a lot. Ms. Mariot suggested I read some of the other H.G. Wells things since I hadn't gotten to them yet." "Yes - the Time Machine is a classic, and I'd personally recommend The History of Mr. Polly," Scott says, tapping his temple again as he looks at Faelan with that almost unchanging expression. That was Scott for you - not a master of emoting. He clears his throat, and then twists a little in his chair. "I'm encouraging you, in this next year, to join a club - any club that sounds interesting to you. The most interesting one. I can see you are frustrated with your powers, and with the way the world at large will interact with them. I think you feel a lot of guilt and shame for the way they work - and I think a lot of that will go away if you can become more comfortable in a group setting. This is not a requirement, but as someone who has been watching you learn and grow, I feel it's important that you push yourself just a bit out of your comfort zone for the sake of your own personal happiness." "I've been trying a lot lately though." Faelan was looking somewhat pouty at the suggestion. "I even went on the class field trip to the science expo. And that ended up with me having to call Dr. McCoy because Peter said there was a murderer there." His frustration with the world at least had some connection to reality. "I just need some kind of warning sign on me for people to not want to test my powers. I did tell Ivan I was sorry for sending him off school grounds though. Maybe if I had as much control over it as the invisibility it wouldn't be so bad. Invisible things don't go anywhere, I just can't find them either without groping around for it." Scott sighs a little, his cheeks pulling a little bit. "Mr. Carter, I hear what you're saying - I do. And yes, it can be very difficult to integrate. Please do not be discouraged by the bumps in the road. It may be annoying and even disheartening at times, but building up your confidence is not easy. Keep doing what you are doing. Look at the list of school clubs and join one of them. I promise, you'll find something you like if you just keep at it, something to focus on. The rest will come along with your interest." "Yes sir. I will look at the list of clubs." Faelan said it without much conviction though. "Maybe there will be something at least. I guess I could ask some of the others what they do. Even if its boring, I will at least know some of the people there." Figuring that was the lesser of the two evils than dealing with a bunch of strangers, he nodded to himself. "Ms Jennifer said the same thing about my confidence. I don't really know how to build it though. Every time I make progress, something happens to tear it all down." "I was not the most confident individual when I was your age, either, Faelan," Scott says, dropping his hands to the chair plastic-arm rests. Faelan looked at Scott as if he were a liar, tilting his head slightly. "Why not? You can wear something special and you wont hurt anybody on purpose." He shook his head again. "I mean you don't look like Dr. McCoy, and you're not scrawny like I am." This was captain seriousness in front of him after all. What would pierce that shell? Scott shifts in his chair and gives Faelan another stoic look. "Son, at age 15, I was scrawnier than you were at age 14," he says slowly, folding his arms across his chest. "Since that time I have not looked a single person in the eye. I have forfeited seeing in every color in the visible spectrum save one for the opportunity to live with the people around me. I see the sky in my dreams." His lips thin a little. "I decided to find a purpose and I stuck with it. I built muscle and got involved in sports, I started playing around with motor vehicles and started to build machines. I didn't exactly like either to begin with, but they kept my mind off being a living killer weapon, and eventually, I started to love them. I'm saying out of experience, you can do the same for yourself if you stop blaming the world around you for your anguish and /try/." Okay, so maybe he is a /little/ emotional there. Just a smidgeon. Nodding and feeling bad about what he had said, Faelan shifted in his seat. "Yes sir." Clenching his hands into the sleaves of his sweater, he nodded again. "I'm sorry sir." With his head downcast, he let out a sigh. "I'm crippled by my fear, but you can't turn yours off at all." Shaking his head again, trying to get back to the original line of statement "Are there any groups on meditation or yoga maybe? Um, someone said that it may help me abit." Scott informs Faelan of Jennifer Walters yoga class for next semester. As well there may be a club.