ArchivedLogs:Physical Needs

Physical Needs
Dramatis Personae Heather and Paige
In Absentia	2017-02-05 "I am glad that I helped with getting you out of a tough shit."
Location <NYC> {Teamhaus} - Harbor Commons - Lower East Side
The door to this unit first leads to a short hallway and then to a larger floorplan. The right side opens up to a modern kitchen with cherry wood cabinets and steel countertops forming a corner against the close and right walls. This cooking area is fitted with modern appliances, among them being an over-the-counter microwave, a dishwasher, an electric stove, a refrigerator, and an oven. Opposite the kitchen is the dining room, accessed by a pair of narrow French doors. Walls of frosted glass panes, framed by stained wood and a diagonal slat slanting downwards towards the doors, separate the area from the rest of the unit. Long, vertical wooden boards stained dark comprise the rest of the walls in the unit. A small hallways leads from the entrance towards the back with a closet on the left and a bathroom on the right. Although the rest of the unit has beautiful hardwood flooring, the bathroom floor is tiled. It has the usual porcelain fixtures - a sink, a bathtub, a toilet - but also contains a separate shower stall made of steel and glass. On the left of the hallway is a closet containing a decent amount of storage space along with a washing machine and dryer. The hallway ends as it began, opening up into the same layout as the entrance, though flipped. To the right is the bedroom, concealed by the same frosted glass walls as the dining room with a single door of the same fashion as the walls. The left side holds a living room. Curtained windows along the back wall allow light to stream into the area. Now that Heather actually has a space to live in, she's been more intent on doing her online work rather than flipping physical goods for profit. She's added on her list of items that she needs to get a durable laptop. This afternoon, she is presently sitting on the floor of the dining room, tapping away furiously at the little screen as she explains a math problem to a student who has sought her help online. Between each message, she writes in ink into a notebook for another piece of work. She presently wears a long moth chewed bright orange sweater that is much too big for her and reaches to mid thigh, and a pair of tight leggings with orange and blue tigerstripes on them. Because Heather normally avoids tight clothing, it's not usually quite so apparent how underweight she is. There's a small struggle at the French doors connecting the rest of the unit to the dining room before Paige nearly stumbles in sideways. She manages to keep her balance, albeit with a surprised and frightened expression, as she holds a plate of steamed vegetables in each hand. The goat girl stands still for a moment, ears flicking idly, as she watches Heather work with what would appear to be determination. She herself a pair of dark grey leggings and a black t-shirt, somewhat longer fur showing on her body than her face. Once she's made her way over to the other girl, she places her back against the wall and slides herself slowly down to sit next to her. "Food?" she offers with a soft smile. Heather sends a quick text message as Paige appears and then picks up her tape recorder, which was sitting on the floor next to her. She looks towards Paige and asks, not having looked up by the time the message was recorded, "I would like food. Do you have some?" She looks Paige quickly up and down while it plays to see if her roommate has any on her person this very moment. She holds her hands out to take the steamed vegetables, nodding a few times rapidly. Paige lets out a quiet chuckle at Heather's response, her eyes crinkling in amusement at the mutant beside her. "Yes, and this plate is for you," she obliges, placing one of the dishes (complete with fork, knife, and napkin) in her roommate's outstretched hands. "I told you I am going to try to cook for you, didn't I? I'm still learning, though, so don't be -too- critical of my work." A pause as the goat girl flicks her ears and looks down at her own plate, now in her lap. "I...didn't join. The group I was talking to you about before--before we got this place. I didn't join. They--they weren't what I thought they were and my friend told me that I wasn't a good fit." There's a small hint of shame in her voice as her ears wilt slightly. Heather takes the plate and places it on her lap, using the fork to spear one vegetable at a time. She plays on the recorder, "It tastes good to me. I haven't had many vegetables lately. I just took a multivitamin after my caloric needs were met." She nods a few times quickly as she looks back down to the plate. The message continues to play: "It's good that you didn't join. They were right. You are not a good fit. It sounds like you didn't believe in what they were doing. You're meant for something else. We'll find it." Paige has only eaten a few of her vegetables before she lets her fork down with a small clink. "I don't know what I believe in. I just want to help people, but I don't think I'm meant for anything, you know? I want to make a difference, but I don't know how." A bitter, derisive laugh follows the last comment. Her eyes flick down and her jaw works before she tries to switch the topic. "Eating is good for you. Vegetables are supposed to be good for us too. I'm glad you like them. I've never really cooked like this before. Simple things, you know? Like Mac & Cheese and pasta. I want to learn and do better so I can give you something. So I can give you what you deserve." Heather listens to Paige on the recorder and plays in return, "I think everyone is meant for something. Sometimes it will be up to me to help figure that out. That's what I am meant to do." She nods a few times rapidly towards Paige, "I know it is not easy. I am here to be of service." She continues eating the veggies one by one, so to savour them a bit more. "What do you think that I deserve?" The goat girl works on her plate while listening to Heather's recordings, eyes glancing to her roommate at the nodding. "The world," she says as she swallows one of her vegetables. While it may have been said in jest or sarcasm, Paige's tone is quite sincere. "Everything. More than what you've been given so far. You deserve to be happy and to feel secure in your happiness. You..." Here the furred mutant's head drops as her ears twitch. "You deserved to be loved. In one way or another. You deserve to enjoy life. You..." A shrug before she starts eating again. "I don't know." Heather listens to Paige and she says, "You seem to think I deserve quite a lot. Maybe you deserve the same things. I am not sure I require all of that. My physical needs will be sated with being here. It's given me the ability to concentrate on my work. Which will allow me to do a better job." She finishes off her vegetables and puts the plate aside, carefully. "For now those things are luxuries. A goal for a self with more experience and resources maybe." "Why?" Paige's somewhat timid voice comes after she has bowed her head again at Heather's response. "Why for later? Why not now?" Some more vegetables go into her mouth as she chews and swallows before speaking again. "Your needs can't be just physical." The tone of the older girl's voice has a tiny hint of aggression, as if she is willing her statement to be true. "Isn't there more to life than work? More to life than logic and money and..." Her ears press down slightly and she resumes her eating, not finishing her words. "There is more to life than work. I write stories. But it's mostly for myself," plays Heather, eyes focusing on Paige for a moment. "Physical needs are a bare minimum. But always a first goal. If your physical needs are not met then you die." She fiddles with her goggles for a few moments before answering, "Having someone who cares about me and who I care about in turn." She gestures between herself and Paige. "That is important too. Enjoyment of life seems more difficult than that. For now that sort of enjoyment is for later. I need to work in order to meet my physical needs. I need to gain weight. My goal is to be above one hundred pounds. And I need to make sure we are safe and physical needs are met. For now it is my work that is important." Paige's ears flick up, then back, as she regards Heather with a somewhat confused look on her face before again dropping her gaze. "I care a lot about you. I mean, I care a lot about all my friends, you know? I just...thought -- before you said -- I just -- nevermind," Paige stammers, the skin beneath her fur reddening considerably before she stabs at some of the greens still on her plate and shoves them in her mouth. "It's not important," she informs the other girl once she's swallowed. "What I was saying - it's not -- it's not important." Ears flick down, then out to an idle position. "What kind of stories do you write?" Heather considers what Paige is saying. She studies Paige's face for a moment and says, "Even if it is not important I would like to hear about it. If I have created a misunderstanding then I want to know what it was. Whatever it is it seems to have distressed you." She purses her lips, keeping that expression for long enough for it to be perceptible as an expression she held. "I write stories about many things. Stories about things I've seen or heard before." If Paige's blush got a chance to fade, it now returns in full force, even spreading to her ears and neck. Her dish now clear, she places it on the floor beside her and watches her hands fidget in her lap. "Back at the shelter -- you know, like three weeks ago -- you said that you needed someone. Someone like me." Her ears have pulled down close her head as her voice grows meeker. "And I thought that by 'need', you meant...I thought that you meant...I mean, you said that we would take care of each other and I thought you meant -- I guess I thought you meant something different, alright? Something -more-. But I just got confused, okay? I misunderstood. It's not your fault and it's not -- not a big deal, okay?" The goat girl's hands release each other as they begin to run along the wood grains instead. Heather's expression softens a bit at Paige's explanation and she makes one of her squeaky sighs. "You thought that I was implying a romantic relationship. I hope that your coming here was not premised on that. Though I am surprised if it was. I am not sure what benefit anyone would get from being in a romantic relationship with me." She rests her hands on her own lap, holding her recorder in both hands. "But the reason I need you does not have anything to do with attraction. Though you are attractive. It is just that you seemed like the kind of person who cares. And who is willing to be understanding. You seemed special. Do you understand what I mean?" She raises her shoulders in a shrug. "I think it would be manipulative to ask for a relationship in exchange for a place to live anyways." Paige doesn't say anything and remains still, aside from her fingers gently brushing the floor, as Heather's recording plays. Her twitching ears, however, indicate that she -is- listening. It's only after a minute or two once her blush has faded somewhat that she responds with a nod. "I...I wasn't sure. The way you said it -- it just wasn't clear, you know? But that's not your fault at all. And you do realize that you're attractive, too, right? I mean, in your own way, you know? I'm not talking about looks or beauty, but I mean you -are-..." The older girl cuts herself off as her jaw works and her eyes look the side. "You just a good person. And you care. And you're special also. And I ... understand. I'm sorry for bringing it up - I just wasn't sure." Ears flick again and she turns her attention towards Heather, picking up the other mutant's plate and stacking it on her own on the floor. "You have a lot to offer people, even if you don't believe it. But, thank you, I..." A shake of the head and a deep breath. "Right. So, um, what have you, uh, been working on?" "The work that I am doing currently is helping some school aged children with math questions. I charge less than a standard tutor," says Heather, "It is something I know to do since I did it when I was in the group home for extra money. So that I could buy things." She rubs her brow lightly and then continues, "On the subject of relationships. I just think because of some of my physical and mental limitations that I am not what most people would call a desirable romantic partner. Kissing is a component of romantic relationships and I am unsure how I would do that. The mechanics of it would require further study." "Mental limitations?" Paige's question comes with a tilt of the head and a furrowing of the brows. "What do you mean? You seem incredibly organized and efficient. You know how to prioritize your needs and set realistic goals. And, what's more is that you're able to -meet- them. You are, they would say, successful." There's a small, wry grin at this, though the older girl's eyes might betray that she has not yet fully moved on from the previous topic. "And, by -gods-, are you -patient-. So incredibly fucking patient. With all that you have to go through with time and stuff? I can't -- I couldn't even imagine it. And so what if you've never kissed someone; neither have I. I mean, I'm not saying that -- " She shakes her head again. "I am grateful for you, Heather. I am lucky to have you in my life. Even if that's just as a friend. You are strong, you know? You've pulled me through some really tough shit." There's a pause as the goat girl draws a deep breath and lets it out slowly, eyes flicking away from Heather and then back. "Is there anything I can do to help with getting money? I've recently found out that I can't even get a job as a -waitress- what with my fur." "I am organized and efficient. That is true. But I have mental limitations," plays Heather, crossing her arms tightly around herself while the message goes. "It is hard to explain. People do not like when I explain. So I do not explain. But I do not mean that I have not kissed anyone. It is correct that I have not. But I mean I do not know if I could without hurting someone." She shakes her head rapidly. "I am glad that I helped with getting you out of a tough shit. For now I would suggest working on a path of making money that keeps you comfortable. My methods of income will not work for you. Perhaps if you start work in a retail place. In the meantime, the food stamps that you applied for should help us budget." "A tough shit? I don't -- I don't think you understood what I meant, but, uh... oh." This statement comes as Paige finishes processing what Heather's recording told her. The goat girl slides further down the wall, stretching out her legs and resting on her elbows. "Would -I- not like it if you explained?" Her voice is full of genuine curiosity. "I understand the not wanting to hurt people, though. That's pretty important. I could look at retail," she says, sounding a little distant as her ears droop once more. "But I've heard that people aren't very nice to retail workers and I'm not sure how much of that I could handle." Heather replies to Paige with, "I don't know if you would not like it if I explained. I was kept in a psychiatric hospital for a short time before I was transferred to the group home." She taps her arm with her fingers rapidly, still keeping them crossed tightly when she is not actively manipulating the recorder. "And you are right. People can be cruel in retail. I was thinking if you could find an openly mutant targeted store or something." While this plays, she sends a text on her phone and brings her legs up towards herself to keep them crossed. "Yeah, maybe," Paige replies as her body decides to collapse instead of to continue holding her up. She turns onto her side, placing her hands beneath her head as she stares towards the glass-paned walls. "I wish I weren't a mutant," she states quietly. "Sometimes I just wish I weren't a mutant. But then sometimes I wish I had powers like yours so I could keep you company or something. Not in -- not in a romantic relationship kind of way. Just in general, you know? So you wouldn't have to deal with everyone being slow all by yourself. Other times I just wish I had powers at all. But most of the time I wish I wasn't a mutant. And so what if you were kept in a psychiatric hospital?" This last bit is asked as she turns onto her back, hands still behind her head while she gazes at the ceiling. "That doesn't explain anything. And it doesn't mean anything either. People go into psychiatric hospitals for a number of reasons, right? Why don't you -try- to explain it? Then we can -see- whether I 'like' it or not, you know?" Heather nods a few times and then plays, "Yes, that's right. There are plenty of reasons to go to a psychiatric hospital. I agree with you. But some people have opinions about such things. The psychiatrist there said my diagnosis is paranoid schizophrenia. I disagree completely. But sometimes I forget to take care of myself. And I am reasonably certain that this is a simulation or an illusion. And other things." She shakes her head quickly for a few seconds. "It is more complicated than that. It is hard to explain. Nevermind this." "-I'm- real. -I'm- not an illusion," the goat girl assures her friend with a twinge of hurt in her voice. "I promise." Paige turns again onto her side, this time facing Heather. "And I will take care of whatever you forget, alright? Just--just let me know what those things are. I'm more than happy to cook for you, especially after what you've done for me. And -- Oh!" The ear not currently on her hands flicks up towards the ceiling - apparently her hearing apparatuses know which way is up. "Oh! Mai told me -- she gave me a letter -- we can use her furniture!" Heather's jaw tenses imperceptibly at the assurance from Paige that she is real, and she nods. It does not matter how convinced Heather is of the reassurance, she simply knows that this is the response with the least social ramifications. "I should have given you more information. Giving you incomplete information before inviting you to be my roommate seems in retrospect to be unethical. I did not think of it. If you notice me behaving in a way that is detrimental to my health, like not eating or skipping sleep times, it is best if you correct it." She pauses the tape and uncrosses her arms now that the topic is on something more external. "Mai's furniture? Do you know anyone whose vehicle we may borrow? It would be useful to use it. We will save a lot of money that way and it will move up the time table significantly." Paige lets out a sigh, but offers a soft smile as she looks up at Heather. "I -told- you, Heather. I'll cook as much as I can for you. You eat fifteen meals a day and I'm asleep for, what, uuuh..." Her free ear twitches idly as she attempts to do math. "One and two-thirds of your days?" At least it -seems- right to the goat girl. "I'm not sure what to do about that and I know I can't cook all the time - fifteen is a taaaaaallll order for one person and if it's like, what ... uummm... -Fuck- it, I can't do that math. Whatever. Yeah. Anyways, what I'm trying to tell you is that I'll make sure you're eating when I'm awake. If you look tired, I'll drag you to bed. If you smell awful, I'll shove you in the shower. I will correct your shit." Now she moves on to the other subject. "Uh, I might, but I don't think I should be driving with hooves." Said hooves give a little wiggle. "I do not expect you to cook all of my meals," plays Heather, "Only keep an eye on me. You will sleep for forty of my hours which, yes, is one and two thirds. Maybe I should keep a log of my weight. And if I leave entries blank then you can let me know. But we do not have a scale. And I appreciate it. Though I always look tired. That is just regular sleep problems. Does Mai have a scale?" She starts running her fingers through her tangled hair to untangle some of the strands, working at it slowly. "I cannot drive. I am sure I would be an excellent driver. But I do not have the patience for it. Riding in a vehicle that I can outrun. In city traffic, sometimes outwalk." "Your reflexes would be spot on, that's for sure," Paige muses, sounding rather amused by the thought of Heather operating a motor vehicle. "And I can definitely keep an eye on you, though I thought your sleep problems had to do more with not sleeping on a bed more than anything else? If there's anything I can do-- well, you know." The goat girl lets out a tired sigh as she rolls onto her back again. "I am -not- driving with hooves. Maybe Anette has a car. She did say I could call her if I was ever in trouble." Head turning to look at the other girl, she inquires in jest, "Do you think not being able to move a couch, a bed, and some chairs counts as trouble?" Heather sends one more text and then plugs her phone back in as she plays on the phone, "I do not think that being unable to move furniture is trouble. We will figure something out. Maybe we can give money to someone to rent a truck for us. Though I want to save and make sure to build up a household emergency fund again. Since I expended most of my emergency fund." She rises up to her feet and says, "I am going to end this wake cycle now. I will see you in a little more than an hour if you are still inside." She shuffles off to get her pre-sleep rituals started.