Logs:Please. Let's get real here. / If it stayed an ugly duck / who would know the tale?

Please. Let's get real here. / If it stayed an ugly duck / who would know the tale?
Dramatis Personae Dallen, Natsumi, Tok
In Absentia Bryce, Horus	2024-09-17 "I'm not very good at being things."
Location <XAV> Gardens - Xs Grounds
From indoor gardens to outdoor, though without the protective greenhouse glass the back gardens do not last all year round. Still, the gardens out here are well-tended and well-worth spending time in, as well. The paths wending through the beds of flowers and herbs and vegetables spread out through the school's back grounds, tended by students as a credit class. Benches offer seating and a small pond is home to koi and turtles, as well as a few frogs. At the far back edges of the garden, a droning buzzing marks a few stacked white boxes as beehives. It's cloudy out, today, but still fairly pleasant as evening starts to come on. The gardens are quiet, at dinnertime -- somewhere over on the patio plenty of students are out eating their meal, but over here in the far back it's more peaceful. The drone of the bees, the snuffling of some unseen creature scrounging in the shrubs. Natsumi is tucked on a bench in a bold orange bell-sleeved top, wide bright pink sash belt, flowing silvery-white pants and strappy pink sandals, colorful eclectic accessories, hair pulled up in two messy side buns. Her plate of food is largely untouched beside her in favor of the article she's been typing up -- but now she's been distracted from this task, too. She's leaning forward to peer at a ruby-throated hummingbird that's darting through the jewelweed, her head tilting slightly to the side as she watches its flitting motion. Dallen is only just making her way out here with her dinner in a steel mess kit rather than on a plate. She's dressed in a neat red striped button-up, blue jeans, and black sneakers, her hair still kind of just an overgrown side-part that's been neatened up by a hapless (white) barber. She probably saw Natsumi first, but following the other girl's gaze she slows to a stop and to admire the hummingbird, as well. "I hope he is getting enough to eat," she says, a little hushed. "We should make sure the feeders are topped up." “What’re we all lookin’ at- oh!” Tok’s hushed voice suddenly sounds behind the two as he slides in beside them. With how quietly he’d crept up, perhaps he’d been intending to startle them, but now that mission is quickly forgotten. He’s sneaking up just a bit closer to it, in a plain blue t-shirt and a pair of joggers that might’ve been considered ‘distressed’ with their rips at the knees and various grass stains if they weren’t being worn by Tok. He raises a camera that’s strapped around his neck, and quickly snaps a photo with a click then drops it back down to hang freely by the strap. “Where would we even get humming bird food?” Natsumi sits up a little straighter, eyes darting to Dallen quickly. She closes her laptop, pulling her plate of food over atop it. "There's plenty of those orange flowers still." She's looking over toward the flowers with a small shrug. "This garden's already probably kind of a bird paradise." She's plucking up a pair of fine lacquered chopsticks with a faint mother-of-pearl shimmer along their handles to start in at her noodles. Her brows pinch, very slightly quizzical, and she gathers herself in a little more compactly when Tok comes into view. "Oh, um. The... kitchen? It's just sugarwater." Tok has succeeded at least a little in their sneaking. Dallen starts with a shallow indrawn breath and a brief flutter of shadows. "Oh yes, they're very good flowers." She nods slowly and solemnly. "It takes a lot of energy for them to feed like this, and they need to get really fat for the migration. I have faith in him and the flowers." She's rocking gently back and forth, like an echo of her nod. "But it's nice to have a little help. From the kitchen. Yes." She's nodding again, or maybe just rocking with a little more intent. “Really? That’s all?” His eyes don’t leave the hummingbird, tail twitching back and forth like a cat about to pounce. “I wanna be a hummingbird.” He decides. His gaze catches their food, and he looks up towards the sky, “Is it dinner time already? Totally spaced—” He pulls out a granola bar from his pocket, and rips the wrapping with his teeth. He leans against a nearby tree and takes a bite, “What’re you workin’ on?” He waves a claw in the direction of Natsumi’s laptop. "So only kind of a little faith, then?" Natsumi is holding up her finger and thumb a smidge apart in front of her eye, peering through this at the flowers, or maybe the bird. "I guess it is a pretty long trip -- ooh." She's wincing, nose scrunching up. "I do not know if you would make it as a hummingbird, I don't think they can afford to forget that kind of thing." Her eyes drop when Tok's claw waves -- glancing down to her dinner plate, which is solidly covering up her laptop, now. She delicately pincers a piece of tofu from her noodles and offers brightly: "Oh, there's still plenty of food in the dining hall, though! I don't think you've missed out at all yet." Dallen frowns very hard at Tok when they look like they might pounce, then relaxes when they peel off to work on their own dinner. "A medium amount of faith," she concedes. "There's probably still fewer of the flowers they like now than there used to be. Probably." Her nodding intensifies again. "It's a long way, and it's very dangerous, and they go alone." She looks back at the hummingbird. "I would not want to be a hummingbird. And you would starve if you were a hummingbird," she adds, looking significantly and disapprovingly at Tok's granola bar. Tok’s hands raise from his sides in mock offense, “What the hell guys! I’d be a great hummingbird. I’mma figure out how to become a hummingbird one of these days just to prove you both wrong.” He takes a determined bite of his granola bar. “Talk about no faith. Bet I’d last the longest outta all three of us.” He says lightly. His stare lingers on Natsumi, jumps to Dallen briefly, then he shakes his head, “Cool. I’ll grab some food in a bit—thanks.” "Oh, that part is definitely true," Natsumi concedes quite readily, her hand coming up to cover a small giggle. She flutters her fingers between herself and Dallen. "Dallen and I are taking a hard pass on turning into hummingbirds. You would ace that competition kind of by forfeit. I do think it would be a really super pretty exhausting dangerous life, though!" Dallen's eyes go wide, and she looks relieved when Natsumi reaffirms her status in the Not a Hummingbird club, and goes back to her gentle rocking. "Maybe," she reasons optimistically, "it's not quite so exhausting if you're a hummingbird." Now she's frowning again, though down at her mess kit and not at Tok directly. "If you could turn into one of those aliens, why can't you turn into a hummingbird? Can you only turn into aliens?" Tok seems proud of being crowned longest to last as a hummingbird. He grins widely, "Worth it." He stills at Dallen's question, and he distractedly scratches at one of the patches of exoskeleton on the side of his neck. "...Not just aliens." He looks over at the hummingbird, eyes tracking it darting around. He shakes his head, “Nah. Even if I could I think I’d kill it. If I took its wings I’d be giving it my arms and—“ He makes a whistling noise and mimes the bird crashing and burning, creating explosion sounds with his mouth. “Too bad though. I got real lucky with the aliens.” Natsumi's eyes dart between Tok and the hummingbird, and she presses her lips together firmly, her brows hiking up. Eventually she gives a thoughtful hum. "I bet your brother could do it," she volunteers lightly, and pops a small morsel of dinner into her mouth. "Oh, gosh, he doesn't do any messy bird murder, does he? That would be pretty horrible, you guys don't seem like the type." Dallen's eyes go even wider, and she starts shaking her head with intense focus. "No. No no no no, Bryce doesn't explode birds. No." She shakes her head once more firmly, then stills herself. "He could definitely turn into a bird. But not by taking things from them, he learns from them." There's wonder and pride in her voice. "Learn how to be a bird." Her shadow on the path grows more distinct, the shadow of the mess kit changing into a that of a small bird cradled in its insubstantial hands. The shadow bird fans its wings vigorously, but only lifts off an inch before settling back down. "Still learning, but soon, I think." Tok watches the shadows along the ground with wide admiration, tail twitching behind him like before. His smile tugs at the corners of his mouth, and he looks back up to Dallen, “Sick.” His empty granola bar wrapper crinkles in his hand when he fidgets with it, “When he learns I wanna see.” He falls into a quiet contemplation, heel of his sneaker bouncing against the tree he’s leaning on, “Learn how to be a bird.” he hums. Mid-contemplation, he’s suddenly looking up at the two, “And you guys seriously wouldn’t wanna try being a bird?” His voice pitches in disbelief. “Don’t you guys ever get-” He pauses, tongue pressing against top row of his teeth, and he does a full body shrug, “I dunno. Bored?” "Maybe Mr. Horus should be teaching him a bird class. I'm not sure how well your parrot would do as a tutor." Natsumi watches the shadows curling on the ground, her own eyes slightly wider. She blinks in some sudden distraction, looking over at Tok with a small sideways moue. "That's -- not actually what either of us said?" There's a gentle hedging in her tone. "Hummingbirds are just, I mean..." She trails off and rests her chopsticks carefully against the edge of her plate and considers, for a studied moment, the beehives at the edge of the garden. "I don't think so?" She finally offers, though it sounds a little uncertain. "Not really? I mean, maybe it's quiet sometimes but my friends are super interesting and we go to chaos school for freaks and the city's right there, it's not like it's ever hard to find something cool to do." She shrugs a shoulder, her brows furrowed thoughtfully. "The world's already really interesting. I think I'd have to kind of work at it to be so bored I couldn't find anything real to do and had to start trying to be something else." Dallen nods at Natsumi's clarification again. "I would not want to be just any bird, not even for just a little while. Maybe an eclectus parrot." The little shadow bird roosting on her shadow's hand takes on Moab's familiar silhouette. "Maybe. But not because I'm bored. I'm not sure I know how to be bored." She's also looking in the direction of the beehives. Perhaps she's just following Natsumi's gaze again. "I think. I'm not very good at being things. I'm still learning how to be a girl. One thing at a time." Tok listens, ear flicking distractedly, “Oh. That makes more sense.” He threads his claws through his tail, “I don’t think people are boring or this school or nothin’. Maybe boring is not a good word.” His face skews to the side, “I’unno what else to call it.” His face suddenly brightens in surprise towards Dallen, “Oh sh- wait! Really? I didn’t know that!” He grins, pushing off of the tree excitedly, “I’m a pro at being a girl—but only sometimes.” He’s blurting. His tail ticks back and forth in his excitement, “I think you’re doing great—if that matters.” "You're -- learning --" Natsumi's brow pulls together, briefly perplexed. Her teeth press down against her lip, eyes sweeping over Tok and then over Dallen in turn. "I don't -- really know if being a girl is something you can learn," she ventures, a little dubiously, "but like, I'm sorry, don't listen to them, you really aren't doing great, I'm really really sorry but they're kind of not being honest with you." She's giving Dallen a small and very apologetic smile. "Like, if what you're going for is wanting people to see you as a girl? Or wanting to feel more girly? I don't know which you're meaning but if you ever want like, makeup or fashion help? A shopping trip? Maybe some tips of where to get your hair cut? I've done the girl thing kind of a while and not just sometimes and I could definitely give you advice -- if," she's adding quickly, "only if you wanted." Dallen rocks gently -- not like the earlier, more energetic nodding. "I also don't really know. At first I thought it was simple and I could just be a girl. But then my parents wanted me to talk to a lot of people about it. I don't think any of them really knew, either. It was all very confusing, and I don't think I'm doing great." She doesn't sound particularly upset about any of this, at least. "How do you know when you are a girl and when you are not? Do you get to decide on the schedule. If you are a pro." The rocking has become an eager nod, again. "I would like some advice. Everyone has been so stressed and I didn't want to make a fuss. But I do want to be more girly. Even if it is a little vain." Tok narrows his eyes at Natsumi, quickly glancing between her and Dallen. “Don’t- I ain’t lying. Don’t talk like I ain’t even here.” He stands up a bit taller, tail bristling, then it wraps quickly around his waist. He pulls at the fur of it in a nervous manner. His eyebrows pull down into a furrow, concerned, towards Dallen, “It is that simple if you want it to be. That’s what I was tryin’ to say. You’re doing great at being a girl cause you don’t gotta do anything if you don’t wanna to just- be a girl. Everyone always makes it so complicated sometimes—all these requirements you gotta pass.” He’s looking conflicted now, unsure, “And I know cause I just know. Some days I’m just more comfortable one way or another. No schedule.” He nods towards Natsumi, “But—that’s the cool thing I guess. It’s up to you. I don’t think it’s vain. If it makes you happy I say go for it.” He shoves the granola bar wrapper into his pocket, and he shoves his other hand into his pockets as well. “S’real nice of you Natsumi.” "I'm not talking like -- This isn't about you." Natsumi just shakes her head, collecting her things carefully and standing up with a very small press of her lips. "I don't think it's that nice, I just... want to make sure she's getting good advice. The world can be hard enough without trying to set people up to make it harder." She smiles at Dallen, small. "My wing's right across from Bryce's if you want to come up." She's slipping back out, quick and quiet. "Some things can be simple and complicated. Like math, or --" Dallen frowns. "Maybe it's most things. You can just be a girl. Or you can..." She looks back at Natsumi: the cutting edge fashion, the colors that suit her so well, the diverse yet coordinated accessories. "...be a girl. I've never tried that, so I don't know what I -- wanna. It's nice to have a little help, sometimes. Thank you," she tells Natsumi earnestly as the other girl gathers her things. "I'll come up." When she's left with only her roommate, her shadow has unfurled intricate filigree butterfly wings. "Thank you for your confidence. Even if we are being very different kinds of girl." Tok’s ears pin back against his head, and he twines his fingers into the fur of his tail. He doesn’t respond to Natsumi, but he does silently stick his tongue out at her as she leaves. He looks down to the butterfly wings, then when he looks up to Dallen, there’s something initially nervous in his expression. He scans her face, and the nervousness fades, and he nods, “I’d say you’re the confident one here. Thanks, for telling us.” A smile tugs at the corner of his mouth, “I think you’re cool.” He takes a step, as if he’s about to head out, but hesitation makes his step stutter, “If people ever give you issues about it—” He pauses, “I’ll have your back.” His eyes dart over to where Natsumi was sitting, “And I think a whole lotta other people here do too.” With that and a quick wave, he slips away.