ArchivedLogs:Fighting Loss

Fighting Loss
Dramatis Personae Mai, Paige
In Absentia	2016-12-28 "Perhaps it would be easier for you to think of your family being dead also."
Location <NYC> Central Park South
Central Park South is home not just to the park itself, but also to the Belvedere Castle, the Alice in Wonderland statues, and the Central Park Zoo. These areas tend to draw tourists like a magnet - it is, perhaps, for that very reason that places like Bethesda Terrace tend to attract more New Yorkers than not, if just to escape the press of tourism that infiltrates the whole city. It's dark outside as Paige waits at the train station nearest the southern portion of Central Park. The meeting spot was picked out earlier when she spoke on the phone with Mai - the premise of the rendezvous simply being that the hooved girl was hoping to go for a walk. She hasn't lapsed yet on following through with the 'highly suggested' physical therapy the doctor ordered a few weeks ago. Her hood hangs loosely; even if she wanted to cover her head, she couldn't -- not with the horns and her odd ears. For the moment, she appears to be absorbed in her phone.\ Mai is no stranger to this neighbourhood as she comes to the park to jog fairly regularly, although its certainly nicer at summer... everything is nicer at summer. It is also not all that hard to spot Paige even from a distance as the girl has rather unique silhouette with those horns and all! She walks her way at a casual pace along the street towards the gate where the other girl is waiting. Paige seems to find something funny on her phone as her ears flick and she lets out an amused snort. Checking the clock on her phone, she slips the phone into a backpocket on her jeans and appears to have decided to look out for her new friend. Eyes scan passers-by before settling on Mai. At least, she thinks it's Mai. After offering a small wave, she begins walking towards the other girl. Mai lifts a hand up to give a little wave to Paige when the other girl spots her as she closes the rest of the distance between them. "Hey! Haven't seen you in some days, glad to see that you survived christmas." she offers light-heartedly. The horned girl's mouth perks up into a smile in response to Mai's upbeat attitude. "I did!" There may be an -actual- hint of pride in Paige's voice as her ears give a flick upwards. "It wasn't easy. I really only got through it with friends. It's been...I've been having a difficult time lately with...things. But other than that, it was pretty good. There was a big dinner on the Eve, for Hanukkah, I think, and then a brunch Christmas Day. Fiona and I, uh, helped clean up afterwards. Sorry about not getting together sooner. How did your holiday weekend go?" Mai laughs softly at Paige's reply, smiling. Though that smile fades a bit when the difficulties are mentioned. "What? Whats giving you difficult time?" she inquires. "Oh... sounds like you should be careful or you might get fat from all that eating." is offered with light tease, then she shrugs at the last question. "It was okay I suppose. Mostly alone. I don't really celebrate christmas, but its one of the loneliest times in the year, every place is closed and everyone is busy." Although talk of her 'difficulties' was her own doing, Paige is relieved as the conversation seems to move past that at the moment. Especially since her weight was clearly called into play! "Hey," she replies, a wry smile on her face. "I don't eat -that- much. It's all about moderation, right? Besides, I don't really each that much in general." Whether that's due to preference or situation is unclear. Her expression turns to one of concern, brows pulling together and ears pressing down slightly. "I'm sorry it was so lonely and I'm sorry I was a bit busy. It was nice to be around friends, but I just...needed some time. I really miss my family." Mai arches a brow slightly as Paige does not answer her question about the difficulties, but doesn't pry further about it, letting the other girl tell about it when or if she feels comfortable. Instead she offers a sympathetic look to Paige at the mention of her family. "I know that feeling well, believe me. I miss mine as well. Very much. Paige gestures for Mai to follow her as she starts walking and offers the other girl a nod. Her eyes seem to find the ground, though not to watch her hooves. She chews on the inside of her cheek before she starts talking again. "It's...hard. I want to go home. Like -really- badly. But I can't. They don't...they don't like mutants. The whole town doesn't like mutants. I miss them so much. I love them so much, but I can't go back there. It would be bad for them...it would be bad for me. It just...sucks. I never got to say 'goodbye', you know?" The blonde girl takes a deep breath before letting out a sigh. "What about you? Are you parents...the same way? Mai stays silent as she listens for Paige's tale, walking along side the other girl, her face rather serious. Once that question is asked from her, there is a few more moments of silence before she speaks. "No... not really. I don't even recall them ever mentioning mutants, so I could not really tell what they thought about them, but at least they were not vocal about it. I did not get to say goodbye either, even though I watched them die. We were caught in the middle of some kind of anti-mutant terrorist attack and in their line of fire, I was standing right next to them, and I did not even get a scratch, the paramedics said it was a miracle." Her face is rather devoid of expression as she recounts those particular events, her gaze focused on some point in the distance. Then she takes a deep breath and turns to look at Paige again. "Perhaps it would be easier for you to think of your family being dead also, as it sounds like they might as well be taking in your situation." It's Paige's turn to fall silent as listens closely to Mai's story, eyes glancing towards her. When the fate of the other girl's parents is revealed, her face goes a deep red and her eyes widen as her shoulders and back tense. She does not stop walking, but now seems much more attentive to Mai's facial expressions and body language. However, when her friend turns to look at her, she -does- stop. Compared to her companion, the blonde girl's face displays shock and sadness. "I--I'm so sorry," she says, brows furrowing and eyes threatening to tear up. "That is...that's awful. I'm so sorry. I can't imagine--Oh god--I don't--is there anything I can do? My deepest condolences." Ears flick when Paige realizes she doesn't actually know -when- the incident occurred. "I...I'm so sorry." And she does look -genuinely- apologetic. "I...but they're not dead...they're..." Hands fidget as her eyes find her hooves again, face still positively red. "I don't want them dead." Mai stops when her companion does, offering a slight smile to her. "There are different meanings to that word, I did not mean that your parents would be literally dead, but, if they really are how you described, and with how you are now, they would likely consider you as no longer part of their family if they would know about it. And as such, it would likely be easier for you if you would think that way, as contacting them would likely make things worse." she tries to explain. Taking a deep breath before continuing. "Its allright though, it was awhile ago, I have kind of learned how to handle it, just smile and it will all be better. Of course... it didn't help when I later realized that the shots didn't so much miss me, as I made them miss, like an instinctive reaction or something... and the real kicker is, if I had known how to control it then, I could have saved my parents too." Paige's eyes flit to Mai's smile with a tinge of suspicion, her face only paling a little bit. She looks rather downtrodden and seems rather unable to return a smile of her own at the moment, following what she learned of her friend's past. She does raise her head and listen, though. The horned girl draws a sharp breath as Mai describes how she survived, ears giving a flick. "So you're...you have powers?" Curiosity regarding this matter seems to distract her from sadness for the time being. Eyebrows furrow. "But you didn't. It's not your fault. It sounds like you didn't know you could do --- what exactly did you do?" Paige then returns to the previous line of conversation. "I think--I don't know. I don't want to think of them as dead. I just want to be their daughter and..." She trails off because feelings. Mai mmhhmms at the question with a slight nod. "I can move things... without touching them, like for example divert the path of projectiles... kind of like that chick in Carrie... if you seen that movie." she explains, thats about as scientifically as she can tell it. Then giving a long look at Paige at the last part. "Do you really, honestly, believe that could ever happen with how things are now? Sometimes its best to just move on, and find a new family." "I didn't see that one," Paige admits sheepishly, her face now returning to a normal color. "It looked kind of scary. But that. -That's- amazing," she deems of her friend's ability, a look of admiration on her face. "That's like just wow. I'm sorry you had to find it out in such a terrible way, but that's -- that sounds really useful." Brows furrow as she gives a small frown. "I don't...I can't do anything like that." Her ears never seem to be still after returning to a neutral position as they press, again, downwards. Paige's eyes, too, seem to go in that direction once more as she tries to swallow the lump in her throat. A moment passes before she actually answers Mai's question, quietly, softly, afraid. "No. I...I don't. But I--I'm trying my best to move on, but it just doesn't seem like enough. I can't get them out of my mind. I don't think I know -how- to move on." An alarmed, worried look quickly appears on her countenance. "I'm not--I'm not asking for any help with my feelings. I was just--I'm not trying to burden you." Mai tilts her head to the side some as she listens to Paige. "Just... don't go around telling everyone about it, okay? I am kind of wanting to keep a low profile about it, you are like the only one I have told about it so far." she explains, then offers a slight smile. "Perhaps you just haven't yet discovered all of your own potential?" is offered encouragingly with a light pat on the other girls shoulder. Consider the last part for a moment. "Something that usually helps is if you find something to focus on, doesn't even need to be anything big or important, just like a hobby or whatever, learn to cook, anything to help you get those worries out of your mind, like you know, busy yourself." Paige breathes a sigh of relief. "I won't, I promise. I understand. Thanks for, uh, choosing me to be first?" As this is said, the blonde girl's eyes turn to her friend and she even manages to crack a small smile. She also seems to relax at Mai's brief touch. "I've been wondering about that. I have no idea what it would be, though. But, right. Need to get my mind off of...Right. I was, uh---well, I met this guy here in the Park one day and I was going to try and learn some blacksmithing, but I haven't heard from him since. That would've been cool." Mai smiles more as the topic of the conversation turns to less depressing subjects, giggling a bit even at the mental image of Paige hammering an anvil. "Wow, really? People still do that? I thought it would all be done by like some machines these days. Not that I could claim to know anything at all on blacksmithing. Though I imagine it would be pretty physical work. But either way, I am sure you will find something that catches your interest. Speaking of unusual things, I saw a guy yesterday who had a metal arm... and not just that, but it was more like a metal tentacle, that was like the coolest thing ever." "Flicker," comes Paige's response before she blinks. "Right? I don't know anyone else with an arm like that, but maybe there are others?" Ears flick back and up before returning to their normal positions. "I don't think--I don't think he likes talking about," she comments non-chalantly, thinking back to her first interaction with the young man. "You saw cool. I saw dangerous. I still feel rather bad about how I stared. My brain has been very keen to snap into fear mode ever since my manifestation started. And, yeah! I know! I didn't believe it either, but he was totally swinging a sword around. I don't know, I just thought it sounded really cool and I was thinking of getting into it?" There seems to be a misplaced inflection at the end of that statement. "I'm not sure what else really interests me, though." Mai blinks in surprise at the rather non-chalant reply. "Oh, you know him? Damn and you never told about it? Oh and umm yeah, it seemed like he was a bit put off when I asked him more about it. He left rather abruptly, just hoping that will get to meet him again, as he did seem really interesting." Then giggles at the next part. "Really? You found metal arm guy dangerous, but a guy swinging a sword around cool? Thats what I would have called dangerous instead!" "Well, he wasn't exactly -swinging- it," the horned girl corrects, ducking her head and smiling. "He was practicing with it. I watched him for a little while; it looked like he knew what he was doing. It was impressive, you know?" A wink is sent in Mai's direction. "And, oh? What's so interesting about that one? Not that, you know, I don't think everyone is interesting!" Mai chuckles at the correction, shaking her head a bit amusedly. "What kind of sword was it? I am fairly decent with one too, even though I prefer the spear, a much more versatile weapon." she inquires with some curiosity. Then shrugs at the question. "Well, apart from the fact that it was an actually functional metal tentacle as an arm?" Paige's eyebrows raise as she offers a sheepish expression. "I have no clue what kind of sword it was. I don't actually know that much about weapons at all. I've only, uh, ever used a handgun." Her right hand rubs at her left arm, then starts scratching. "You -prefer- the spear? So you know how to use it and others? That's...cool." Here, though, her expression changes, brows furrowing again as she watches Mai's face. "As for Flicker, you -do- realize that there's more to him -- more to anyone than just their appearance, right?" Mai gives a nod to her words. "Yes, it was part of the kung-fu training to learn to use some of the traditional Chinese weapons, spear was the one I liked most, and practiced most with as result." she explains, then blinks at the last part, giving a somewhat questioning look to Paige, as if wondering if she is serious. "Of course. Thats why you open a dialogue with smoeone, to learn more about them, it just happens that, usually, the first thing you pay attention to about anyone -is- their appearance, whether you want to or not. Thats why it was rather surprising that he left so quickly...hadn't really got much further in the conversation yet." "Sorry, sorry," Paige apologies sincerely. "I didn't mean to be rude. My apologies. Maybe he was just in a hurry? Had some place to be? What did you talk about, if you mind me asking? And you don't think you could teach me how to use a spear, do you?" This is said with a half-grin and it may be unclear whether the blonde girl is serious or not. "It seems like a good way to use one's body, you know? I need to learn how to balance better. I'm sure there's something out there I could do to get better at it." Mai gives a smile in return to Paige's words. "Oh don't worry about it. But well, it was fairly short, was just asking him about what happened to him that led to, well him getting that arm, and he was asking me about what was interesting about me, stuff like that." she explains with a shrug, then considers the question as she looks Paige over some from head to toe. "I have never actually tried to teach anyone, though I suppose I could try. Would have to improvise on some parts though with your unusual legs, as wont be able to do all the same positions obviously. It would likely be best to start from unarmed combat though, as that will give the basics, and helps with things like balance too, that you need to then build on with the weapons." Paige's ears flick up and back. Curiosity. "You were? I didn't...When I met him, I just figured he wouldn't want to talk about it. And, yeah." Her head dropping, she glances at her hooves. "Is it...is it weird that I'm not sure I necessarily -miss- my feet? I mean, I wish--I really do-- I really -wish- that my feet were normal again, but...I don't know? It's different. They're just different." She frowns at this piece of introspection and then shrugs, gaze returning upwards. "I could probably do with leaning some unarmed combat. I'm pretty much useless in a fight. I mean, I -guess- I could headbutt someone?" The horned girl pauses for a moment as she considers this possibility, then looks to Mai and offers a smile. "Are you able to teach that? Because if you're willing, I would -love- to learn. But I don't mean to put any pressure on you. You really don't have to. You can just tell me 'no'." Mai shrugs slightly. "Well, didn't get far enough in the conversation to find that out, only something about him volunteering for some kind of mad scientist experiment type thing... it sounded pretty creepy." she explains, then giggles at the headbutt part. "Well, I am certain that you would do that better than a regular human for sure. But like I said, I haven't ever tried teaching anyone, but I could try at least and we could then see how it works out. If nothing else at least it gives something to do on rainy days!" she concludes with a grin. "Horns -do- help with headbutting," Paige says. Her expression soon turns more serious. "-Did- he? That's...interesting. And, THANK YOU!" She may have said that louder than she intended as she cringes slightly afterwards. "That would be," the blonde girl says in a more subdued tone. "Really wonderful. Thank you. And since you haven't taught anyone before, I will try to be your best student," she giggles. Pulling out her phone, she glances at the clock before putting it away again. "I think it's time we should head back." Mai laughs at the joke and nudges the other girls side a bit. "Well, I would be rather disappointed if you somehow managed to not be." she teases back, before nodding at the last remark. "Yeah sounds good, I bet it will turn freezing here soon again. Speaking of which, we would need some place to train in with some space, inside at least during the winter. Is there like a gym or something at the commons that we could use?" Paige sucks in a breath, then lets out a sigh. "Unfortunately, no. I mean, at least not that we could use, you know? I'm a guest there. And only due to Captain America's generosity -- no seriously, Steve is basically my freaking hero. He like saved my hide and then offered to let me stay in the guest room he had used at the Commons. I don't have the type of privilege or anything to let other people into the complex. Someone else has to sign them in. Like Flicker, actually, signed Fiona in so she could stay for a while. So I guess we'd have to find somewhere else." Mai blinks in surprise at that. "Have you actually asked? I would imagine they would let you use the facilities there if your living there, and taking in they invited you there for free, they do sound like kind of nice people so can't imagine them not allowing you to use the gym." Paige lets out a small chuckle. "I think we have opposite opinions on this matter, Mai. I'm living there for -free-. Everyone else is paying. I mean, sure I am allowed to make use of the facilities, but I am -not- allowed to simply bring guests or friends along with me. That would be very much an abuse of their generosity and I'd like to stay in their good graces for as long as I might. Though, to be honest, I'm half-thinking of leaving. I really don't like being a burden on them." The horned girl shakes her head, dismissing that line of thought with a wave of her hand. "I have asked about bringing people myself. There are plenty of telepaths there, I'm sure, that they would be able to, you know, figure it out without me even saying anything. And I really don't want to break the rules, you know?" Mai shrugs. "I am not asking you to break the rules, just wondering if you could ask from... well whoever decides those things there, if it would be ok since I would be like your trainer, and it would be pretty hard for you to train without the trainer. Thats a bit different than bringing friends over to have a party. Though if you ever need a place to crash in, I am sure I could fit you in my apartment, even though its not quite as grand as the commons... but at least the rent is cheap." A bemused look is delivered towards Mai as Paige tilts her head. "Mai, no, don't be silly. I would never ask you to do that. I've heard there are sewers or something where some people live. Yeah, I know, it's not glamorous. I have a really good thing going right now at the Commons, but I can't shake the feeling that something -has- to go wrong with it at some point." The older girl shrugs. "Thank you, though. Really. I'll try to think of something. I'll see if I can ask."