ArchivedLogs:Triangle

Triangle
Dramatis Personae Akihiro and Anette	2016-07-06 "I'm going to shoot enough cocaine to kill a baby elephant"
Location <BOM> Common Room - Main Lodge - Ascension Island
The common room's rustic-lodge feel has been somewhat mitigated by the modern amenities inside its sturdy wooden walls. It has comfortable couches, several chairs, a refrigerator (stocked with snacks and drinks!), a pool table, a pinball machine (METALLICA!), an assortment of books, a television -- with several game systems! -- and a splendid view out the windows (when their lacy yellow curtains are drawn open) for the rest of the island. The pale wood floors have been covered in places -- by a pair of soft thick blue rugs, by a large squishy pair of beanbags that stand in front of the stone fireplace. There's also a board up on the wall, half corkboard, half whiteboard, with a variety of community notes (and occasional insults) to other Brotherhood members. Large doors on the right-hand side lead off to the kitchen and dining room. In the back of the room, the council room's heavy oak door bears solid locks that are almost never actually barred. A short hall adjacent to the council room's door leads to a trio of multi-stalled bathrooms; these might once have been marked with the typical man-woman-handicapped signs, but someone has given them new plaques on the door; a stick figure with horns and a long tail, one with wings. One -- the large single-user toilet -- has instead been given a helmet and a cape. Anette steps out of the kitchen area, sipping at a rather sickly green looking smoothie. Whatever is in it doesn't seem to offend her too much, she continues to drink it through a straw, if rather small sips. Looking around briefly, she makes her way over to the pool table, setting her drink in a corner pocket while she begins setting up a game. To combat the heat, she wears a black halter top, leaving plenty of room for her wings and showing nearly all of her tattoo, denim cut-off shorts, and black flip-flops. Akihiro looks to have just gotten a shower recently, probably to make him less offensive after working in the heat. He's dressed in a pair of jeans and a white tank top, wet hair bound behind him. "Yo." he offers to Anette with a slight wave, taking a seat on the couch and stretching out. Anette looks up as she hears him enter. She pauses, watching him move towards the couch, seemingly neither happy nor upset to see him. Finally, she responds with a rather quick, "hey," before removing the rack, grabbing her drink, and moving to the other side of the pool table. She leans over and after a few seconds of aiming, shoots and breaks, balls clattering loudly as they bounce about the table. "What's up?" Akihiro asks, cutting his gaze over to settle on Anette. He seems surprisingly relaxed, like nothing is amiss at all. "Aside from it being so fucking hot out. Damn shits ridiculous." "Never did like heat. Wings act like another layer. A thick one," Anette says, walking around the pool table as she eyes her set-up. "Otherwise, been quiet on my end." She ends up taking a rather simple shot, nudging a ball into a side-pocket. "Was under the impression you didn't like clothes either. But they're an inconvenience" Akihiro pops each finger individually before covering up a tired sounding yawn. "Quiet isn't always a bad thing. Rather it be quiet than crazy." "Depends who I'm with," Anette says. Her voice is rather casual but a small smirk appears, enjoying some little bit of humor. She takes a more complicated shot, hitting the ball off the side at an angle and knocking it in a corner pocket, followed by a celebratory smoothie sip. "The quiet almost feels odd. After the last few months, I keep expecting something to go completely to hell again." "If only." Akihiro says with a grin, flashing his sharp teeth. "Gotta have some faith that things will be fine, you can't spend too much time dwelling on the negative." "Well, some of us can't just run away whenever things get scary," Anette snaps, looking up rather harshly mid-shot, sinking the white ball into a side pocket. She quickly looks down again and composes herself, though no apology actually appears. "Negative is all that really seems to happen. Usually my own damn fault." "Touche." Akihiro allows, bringing his hands up defensively. "I know you've had it rough, so some negative is expected. I'm just saying it gets better, you just have to remember that and work towards it." "Yeah...ok," Anette says, deciding not to argue the point further as she digs her white ball out of the pocket. After resetting herself, she seems focused on just knocking balls around and not necessarily into pockets. "So what were you up to while you were gone?" "Surviving. It was dark, and if I could get frostbite I'd probably be dead. Figured it was the best way to clear my head.. And it worked. I'm not worried about Romulus, I'm not as angry or self conscious, and I've completely gotten over worrying about Logan. Guess you push yourself until you break then give yourself time to mend if you want to become stronger." Akihiro explains, even if it's a bit wordy. "I only have one regret left." "What I'd give to have your healing abilities..." Anette says, giving up using the stick and just rolling the balls off walls and into pockets. "Would have been nice if you had been like that when we were together." She gives up even doing that, leaving half the balls on the table, jumping up on the edge and sitting, facing Akihiro. "Should I ask what the regret is? "Not telling you I left." Akihiro flashes a sort of sad smile. "I imagine it would have made things so much easier on both of us." He gives a quiet sigh, adjusting on the couch to lay back, "But that's in the past now. Can't stay hung u on heartbreak forever.' "That...may have helped. Though I might have just been mad at you anyway. Hard to tell," Anette says, nodding slightly in consideration. "No, you can't, though you seem to be doing a pretty good job of it. You mention how heartbroken you are everytime I see you." "In the past now, just had to get it out my system." Akihiro assures Anette. "If I let everything that depressed me keep me down I'd have blown my brains out fifty years ago." "You telling me in fifty years, you've never blown your brains out? With your abilities?" Anette says, raising a single brow in disbelief. "This is why I just drown things out with drugs." "Pistols. Pretty sure if I did it with a shotgun I'd actually die. Which is what I mean." Akihiro explains. "And I don't have that luxury. To keep me high I'd have to blow more money than Im comfortable thinking about." "Fair enough. Can't say I blame you," Anette says, finishing off that smoothie before setting it down beside her. "For either point, actually. I don't want to think about how much I've spent over this past year." "It's not too late to join me over here on the light side, you know. We can get all those issues sorted out and put you on track to being actually happy." Akihiro offers, worrying his bottom lip. "I can't begin to imagine what you feel like." "Light side? What light side? You mean with you? Or something else?" Anette says, rolling her eyes gently at his comments. "No. You can't imagine it. So don't try. And I'm happy. For the first time in a long time, I'm happy and it scares me because I know something is going to come along and ruin it but unlike you, I'm not running away." "What do you call all that drug use?" Akihiro arches a brow. "My running away was literal. You ran into the arms of drugs and the man that basically called you a whore. It's just a different kind of running away." "That's different," Anette quickly snaps, eyes burning bright yellow as she stares down Akihiro. "I'm still here. I am still, physically here, standing by my friends and family. I haven't hurt anyone and I haven't betrayed anyone. And as for Killian..." Anette quickly hops off the pool table, though her talons dig into the edge, "...he was /here/. Maybe he made a couple crude comments once upon a time. But you don't know him so don't fucking act like you do." She grits her teeth, taking a couple deep breaths through her nose to calm herself before continuing. "When I was...attacked, I was...scared and alone and...the weakest I've ever felt in my life. I had no where else to turn so I went to him. I had absolutely no right to: he was just as angry as you are about the drugs and he told me if the drugs didn't kill me then the people would. And I didn't listen. And I even tried to use him to make it easier. But I came to him and...he listened. And he helped me kill them. Every single one of them. /That/ is why I'm with him." Akihiro brings his hands together in a series of quiet gold claps. "I made my mind up about him. I'll cut him slack when he proves he's not a complete cocksucker." It's a touch odd just how hard he is about all this, "I suppose this should contribute to that some, but honestly it just makes me angrier, makes me hate him more." "Oh, and should he have just let me go off on a rage-filled vendetta and get myself killed? Or are you just pissed he's better to me than you ever were?" Anette says again, this time her voice filled with venom as she leans up off the table and makes her way to Daken. "Or maybe you're upset that I'm not as miserable as you are? Because I've done my time and I've moved on." The fury mixed with the words implies she is very much intending to hurt him, perhaps pick at a few wounds. "You had Pedro too. I've already been filled in on the situation." Akihiro informs Anette. "I made my mistakes, but that isn't me anymore. I hate myself enough, I don't think anything you say is going to suddenly make me any more miserable." He lets his eyes drift closed, arms folding behind his head. "Or are you going to hit me again?" "Pedro's good but he's too...innocent. Too good. I don't need to ruin his life with mine. Besides, I fell in love with Killian, not him. Simple as that," Anette says, stopping a few feet away from Daken. "No...not this time," she says. "I don't want you more miserable. I just want...I don't even know what I want anymore." "You won't until you get off all those drugs and clear up those insecurities and trust issues." Akihiro says simply. "You don't strike me as an outdoorsman, so therapy might do you better than living off the grid." "I've quit drugs before, I can do it again." The irony may or may not be lost on Anette, it's hard to tell. "And I may have been a mess when we were together but I've actually been working on that since you've been gone. Even got inked to remind myself," she says, vaguely motioning to the tattoo of a phoenix reigniting itself from the flames of its mate. "Just another thing you can thank Killian for. Right now, the only trust issue I have is whether or not to trust /you/." "Is that why you're shooting up now?" Akihiro asks, eyes not opening. You can say a lot about the man, but you can't say his eyesight has gotten worse with age. "That tattoo give you a thing for needles? Or is that just the situation getting further out of hand without you really admitting it?" Anette had no reason to think he, or anyone else, wouldn't see the marks but instinctively, she crosses her arms, trying to cover the track marks in her arms. "I panicked. I saw you and I panicked and I slipped up and..." Her attempts to reason fall flat and she's eventually silent. "And instead of avoiding me until we could talk like reasonable adults, you started doing drugs harder. This might sound like a cliche, but you aren't just hurting yourself." Akihiro cracks his eyes open to turn his gaze onto Anette, "I know you don't give a fuck if it hurts me. I imagine at some level that makes you feel better about it. But it hurts Killian and Pedro too. You fuck around and overdose? I don't think any of us could live with that. It's hard enough watching you be strung out all the time." "It was LITERALLY after I first saw you again. You fucking came back from the dead and all I could THINK about was killing everything with coke," Anette says. "And since when do you care about hurting Killian or Pedro? Figured you'd be fine with me destroying my life if I brought them down with me." She hangs her head and shakes it gently. "I'm not going to overdose. And even if I did...what the hell do you care? I think I've made it pretty clear there's never going to be an 'us' ever again." "Just because we won't be together doesn't mean I don't care about you. It's not like I'm just going to start hating you. You should know that I'm here to talk or whatever you need. You may not be my lover, but you're still family. We're all family on the island, even if we can be dysfunctional at times." Akihiro brings his hand around so he can point at Anette, "And I never said anything ill of Pedro. Just that I don't want to fuck him. He's good people." "Forgive me for assuming you hate everyone," Anette says dryly, rolling her eyes a bit at the correction. "And I never said hate. Just don't act like we're anything other than coworkers. And don't you /dare/..." Anette suddenly grows darker, stepping closer to Daken until she's leering down on him, finger pointed in his direction, "tell me you are here for me. I think the last few months have proven that bullshit." "I made a mistake." Akihiro sits up when Anette comes over. "But I'm here again. And I'm willing to rectify where I can." "You can start by leaving me alone, leaving Killian alone, and just pretending whatever you and I had never existed," Anette says, still staring down Akihiro. "And if I end up overdosing in some back alley in Chinatown, so be it. I'm not your problem anymore. It's not your job to fix me." "Yeah, leave you alone. You want me to just pretend I never met you? I had a real easy time forgetting you while I was gone." Akihiro says, sarcasm thick in his voice. "Bet it was you or Pedro that stole my bag after I got back too, wasn't it?" He pushes to his feet to match the intensity of Anette's stare. "Did you find something to make it easier to hate me? That proved I was out there fucking off?" "Your bag? Why the fuck would I care about what's in your bag?" Anette responds. "And yes, leave me alone. Forget about me. Use heat again, I don't fucking know or care. Whatever it takes." She stands her ground as Akihiro rises, staring up to him, teeth gritted and feathers pressed tight against her back as she looks up to him. "I don't care /what/ you were doing out there." Akihiro growls low in his throat, putting a finger in Anette's face. "Don't you put that fucking evil on me! I almost died while I was on that shit. You can do all the fucking drugs you want, but don't you put that evil on me." "Then be fucking grateful that it's only cocaine I'm addicted to," Anette snaps, raising a hand to literally slap Akihiro's hand out of her face. She continues to stare up at Akihiro, panting softly as adrenaline courses through her, her body literally shivering with uncontrollable rage. Suddenly, she leans forward, taking Akihiro's lips in her own in a rather passionate kiss, considering how much of their conversation consisted of her hating him. Her hands quickly wrap around his shoulders, one hand pressed against the back of his head and holding him close to her. The moment Akihiro's hand is slapped away he turns bright red, then Anette is kissing him. Instinct takes over and one hand finds itself behind her head, the other on her ass. There are no more heated words for now, not even angry thoughts. It takes much longer than it should for Anette to pull away and break the kiss. Though within a split second, she switches from passionate and lustful to terrified and disgusted. She quickly backs away from Akihiro, hands held up and at her sides in surrender, stepping well out of reach of his hold. "This...this is why I panicked," she says, eyes wide though with less anger and more fear. "I can't deal with this." It takes a few moments for Akihiro to come to his senses, then he raises a finger. "Don't panic." he breathes through his nose, "Tell Killian I kissed you. I read things wrong, and kissed you. Then he'll kick my ass and we'll all be okay." Anette chuckles, shaking her head as she runs her talons through her hair, back combing it away from her face. "That's not...no. You really don't get it, do you? That's literally the last thing I'm worried about right now," Anette says. "Though...he will literally kill you if he thinks that's what happened." She closes her and takes a deep breath. "I'm...I think I'm still in love with you." "Yeah, we've both got it bad." Akihiro sighs. "But I can keep a secret if you can, and you can go on hating me.' "God you have no idea how badly I need a hit right now," Anette says, carefully backing towards the nearest chair and slumping down in it, resting her face in her hands and propping her elbows on her knees. "Believe me, I'm trying so hard to hate you right now." "I know." Akihiro sighs, "My first real breakup, if that's what you want to call it, was right after I got off heat. Made me want to relapse even more." He heads over to plop back down on the couch, rubbing his face. "I have the most stressful boner right now." is his weak attempt at humor, coming muffled from behind his hands. "Don't. Just...don't," is Anette's reply to the attempt at humor. She slowly lifts her face from her hands and takes a deep breath. "I think...we should stay away from each other. As much as possible." "Isn't that what we've been doing?" Akihiro asks, lowering his hands to look at Anette. "We just run into one another, and for some reason we can't just keep walking." "Then not being able to keep walking is no longer an option," Anette says simply. "Our other option is, what, have a love affair that could only end in disaster for everyone involved?" "Pretty sure that would last all of thirty minutes after we touched." Akihiro reaches up to tap his nose, "Like I said, the nose knows. So I'm not suggesting that, regardless of how great an idea it is." "Then what do you suggest?" Anette asks, rather quiet and tired-liked, as if the previous argument and passion had been exhausting. Akihiro lifts his shoulders in a shrug. "I'unno." Helpful as always. "We've just already been trying our damnedest for something like this to not happen, and there it was." "Well...it needs to not happen ever again. Regardless of how I feel about you, I'm still in love with...him. And I'd like to not destroy the one good thing in my life right now." Anette slowly stands up, still looking rather dazed before glancing to Akihiro. "I'm going to...well, no point in lying at this point. I'm going to shoot enough cocaine to kill a baby elephant in order to deal with this." "I wish you wouldn't." Akihiro says quietly. "But I can't stop you." "And I wish you hadn't come back. But I can't change that either," Anette responds, quickly turning and making her way to the door.