ArchivedLogs:Vodka Nostalgia

Vodka Nostalgia
Dramatis Personae Anette and Akihiro
In Absentia	2016-06-30 "My god, I /am/ a bitch."
Location <BOM> Beachfront - Ascension Island
Largely rocky and desolate, the majority of the waterfront on this small island is an unwelcoming place. Craggy and forbidding, lined with jagged black rocks, the coast here can take a fair bit of scrambling to navigate. Here and there, though, the coastline levels out to narrow sweeps of pebbly beaches littered with shells and seaweed carried in on the frigid tide. Occasional old trunks of fallen trees dot the narrow beach, victims of the storms that frequently plague the island. One small stretch of the western shore holds a small dock, a few boats usually moored there. Tucked off the mainland coast in Jamaica Bay, the buildings and lights of the city can be seen far across the water. It's late, the sun having set not that long ago. It's cool and calm, the moon glittering against the waves, only the slightest breeze disturbing the beach. Maybe that's why Anette's chosen to come out. Somehow, despite her constant stumbling and the near pitch-black, she's found her way to the rocky beach, near a clearing with a long burnt out campfire. The source of her stumbling seems to be that half drunk bottle of vodka in her hand, which she holds onto for dear life. Finding a rather large boulder, she makes her way over to it and less than gracefully plops down. Taking a swig, she suddenly pauses mid-swallow, yellow eyes widening as she looks out over the water, unsure if she really sees something or not. There's definitely something under the water, but what could it be? A flash of something larger than a fish under the water, moonlight not offering quite enough for a regular person to catch the human-like shape under the surf. But thankfully there isn't a lot of time spent wondering, because the serenity is broken by Akihiro's nude frame, back to being mostly hairless save for his long hair. And he's majestic, as, fuck. At least until he catches sight of Anette, the lack of beard making it a lot easier to read the discomfort that flashes across his face before he ducks down to conceal his bottom half under the water. "Er.. Hey." he calls over. Anette nearly ends up spitting out the vokda through her nose at the sight of Akihiro. Rather, the sight of /all/ of him. "Now I remember why we were together so long," she calls to him, voice only slurred a little bit. Still, she shows no sign of turning away. "C'mon, nothing I haven't seen before. When did you become shy?" "I like to think it's only eight of the reasons." Akihiro calls back, his tone clearly nervous despite his attempt at humor. "And after the last time you clawed my face." Still he pushes up out of the water and heads over, his towel actually being right next to where Anette planted herself. So he begins the process of drying himself off, starting with his hair. Anette's eyes follow him from the water to the conveniently located towel, admiring him for a few moments before politely turning her gaze back towards the water to give him (some) privacy. "Closer to five," she says, taking another large gulp of the vodka as she watches the water shimmer peacefully once again. Apparently, it's too quiet as she suddenly blurts out, "Where do you think we'd be right now if you hadn't left?" "It's cold. But that might just be my heart." Akihiro defends himself with a harumph. "Where would we be?" His shoulders lift and fall in a small shrug before he wraps the towel around his waist. "I 'unno. Probably not together, because I'd have killed Killian. I was an angry person." Anette chuckles softly, sneaking a peek towards Akihiro to check his decency before she turns to face him more fully. "When you were gone and I realized you weren't coming back, I was...happy. What we had, it wasn't going to last. So, so many reasons. From both of us. You leaving meant I had a reason to hate you." She takes another swig of her bottle, swaying a bit on the boulder. "I loved you but I didn't want to." "One of the reasons I left." Akihiro admits. "Despite how I was acting, I was fucking terrifed of love. The closest I came was back on the other side of the country, and she betrayed me. My parents didn't love me. Rommulus used me.. And then there was you. As far as I know you never betrayed me.. And that scared me. And on top of that I felt like I had somehow trapped you.. Put you in a situation you didn't want to be in. So I ran away, like a child." Anette allows Akihiro to speak, mulling over his words in her mind for a moment, taking another swig of vodka before she responds. "It's...close. I did feel like that at times. I wanted you but I didn't want to want you and pushed me into it so I blamed you but whenever we were separated it hurt and...." She realizes she's rambling and takes another swig. "No, I never betrayed you. But you never trusted me." She sighs and looks down at her feet, cradling the bottle against her chest. "Maybe I did. I dunno, you were gone for a while. I did wait for you. I waited for you for a long time. But the more I waited, the angrier with you I got and then Killian and I were out here and...we kissed. So I stopped waiting. So maybe you were right to not trust me. I dunno." "I can't blame you for that. But you can blame me for not trusting you, and I don't think you'll ever know how sorry I am for that." Akihiro sighs quietly, "I don't know how long it'll take me to actually move on. I wasn't here.. But you are. I have to see you, to know you're here and not be able to touch you. It's nothing like I thought it would be coming back." Anette slowly lifts her head and turns, not just her head but her entire body, to look out to that campfire skeleton lurking in the distance. "What do you think it's like for me? You were dead. In my head, the only way I moved on was you were dead. And if I still felt anything for you, that was ok because you were in my past. But now you're not." She takes a deep, shaky breath, followed by a large gulp of vodka. "I love him. I didn't want anything serious but it happened anyway, and I love him. I don't know if he loves me but...he's been good. Too good, even." She takes another shaky breath, as if holding back tears. "But I loved you. And right now, I'm terrified. That beneath the anger and hate and cocaine and vodka, I might still love you. And I can't handle that." She tilts her head back, not so much gulping the vodka as downright chugging it until she pulls it away from her lips, shuddering as it quickly seeps in her system. "Then I'll go again." Akihiro flashes Anette a sad smile. "I'll head off to the city, so you don't have to see my face. I don't want to hurt you anymore than I already have." Anette slowly shakes her head. "No, don't. I...I don't want you to do that. Every time I get scared, I push people away. I don't want to do that anymore..." She reaches up and with a shaky hand, lowers the strap of her tanktop over her left shoulder to reveal the tattoo, scar tissue only barely visible beneath the ink. "I still care about you. For everything that's happened...I still care about you. I want to work...something out between us." She then gives a light shrug, forming a quick half smile. "Though when I'm sober, I might just go back to face clawing." "Without a doubt." Akihiro flashes Anette an actual grin, "It's why I fell in love with you. We were the same mess of trust issues and aggression. The sex was great too." He reaches up to run fingers through his wet hair, letting out a sigh. "And now you love the only enemy I have here." "Maybe that was our problem. We were too similar. I think we had...shitty timing, really. And the dream thing..." Anette literally shudders at the thought of the child they had in the future. "I know you were fine with it but...realy, I'd be a terrible mother. I can't even keep myself sober. And what future would a child on this island have?" Anette offers a genuine chuckle, shaking her head, her loose hair falling about her shoulders. "We both needed to grow as people. If...I weren't with him, I might be willing to be with you again. Maybe not...right away." She looks up towards Akihiro, eyeing him curiously. "I never understood why you hated him so much." "Me either. But whatever happened in the past he hasn't forgotten it, and I can't trust a man that would kill me." Akihiro gives his head a small shake. "Those dreams though.. They were awful. I wonder how long I'd spent in those woods, thinking I had killed you because I wasn't there." A frown brings the corners of his mouth down and furrows his brown. "I felt a lot like that while I was gone, wrestling with the thought of you." "But what happened? Even before, you two have /never/ gotten along. Why do you hate each other so goddamn much?" The slurring in her voice grows stronger, not that it stops her from taking another swig. "There's so much of that future that's still fuzzy. I had this...vague sense I was no longer part of the Brotherhood. Something not good. Don't know what exactly happened though." As Akihiro continues speaking, she presses her lips together, gripping the bottle tighter in her talons. "Don't. Don't try to guilt me. I may be talking to you but I still haven't forgiven you." Akihiro raises a single hand, "I'm not. Please don't think I am." He lifts his shoulders in another shrug, "I can't remember what happened. I know it was after you spent time the night in the safehouse together. I think he said something that made me concerned, I was /very/ self conscious. So we fought and I cut him." "You make it sound like we slept together," Anette grumbles, finally setting the bottle down on the boulder beside her and leaning forward. "He literally saved my life. Actually...he's done it quite a few times since you've been gone. Even when I didn't deserve it." She leans forward and just barely is able to pick up a rock without toppling over, only to chuck it into the ocean to watch the ripples. "I still haven't talked to him since...last time. Maybe I've ruined everything once again. He's an awful lot like me...he likes to run when things get difficult." Akihiro snaps at Anette, perking up slightly. "Nope, I remember now. He insinuated that you did, said something to the effect that you flirt a lot for somebody with a boyfriend on the side." He actually looks angry again, "That's why I fucking cut him," his knuckles go white as he clenches his fists, "I can't believe I didn't scalp him." Anette seems intrigued by this suden new information. "Really? And you never bothered to share this with me before? I'd hav liked to have scalped him myself." She then thinks a moment and shrugs. "To be fair, I did flirt. But you know me, it's who I am. And it helped the pain." "Now I'm going to have to stop myself from kicking his ass again." Akihiro huffs, running both hands through his hair. "I hope I don't take it out on Pedro during our lessons. I'm going to have to go into the city and find a real fight." "Lessons? Oh, don't tell me you're turning the boy into another you, he's such a sweetheart..." Antte says, sounding genuinely upset that Akihir will be teaching Pedro anything. "Of course not. Just how to defend himself." Akihiro assures Anette. "Last thing you need is for one of your lovers to act like me." "He's not a lover, he's just..convenient," Anette says raising the bottle to her lips before pausing, letting the words repeat in her head a few times. "My god...I /am/ a bitch," she says, as if this were a brand new realization. "And how do you know about us?" "You warned him that I might hate him. That means either he tried to, or did sleep with you. And he didn't clarify which, so I assumed. Looks like I was right." Akihiro turns his gaze to Anette. "The question is, does Killian know?" With the last sentence, Anette is suddenly overcome by a fit of giggles. Fueled by vodka, it takes some time for them to calm down long enough to speak clearly. "Sorry. I just...Killian actually saw me walk out of Pedro's room literally wearing a sheet. Like a bad romcom. So, yeah, I'm pretty sure he knows." She begins giggling again, before stopping it once more and taking a deep breath to contain herself. "It was...the same night Killian and I kissed, actually. I talked to Pedro because I felt guilty. We decided you probably weren't coming back and it wasn't fair for me to wait. So I decided I was officially single and...well, I made him a man. Killian came by the next morning to check on me and...well, that was interesting. After that, Pedro was just...convenient fun while I wasn't in any serious relationships." She looks towards Daken, smirking faintly as an idea pops in her head. "You know, if you're looking for a rebound, he's not bad...I did train him myself." Akihiro lifts his hand once more. "No. I'm done sleeping around. I'm probably done with everything." he sighs and pushes to his feet. "I'm glad you had fun, despite all the hardships. Guess it's time to realize I'm single, not that it'll change anything." "I didn't say sleep around. I'd arrange a candlelit dinner for you both. Some ood usic. It'd be cute," Anette says, still grinning before the rest off your words kill her mood. "Yeah, that really might be for the best." "If you need me, I'll be in the bathroom." Akihiro informs Anette quietly, walking off towards the main building in his towel.