ArchivedLogs:A Tearful Reunion (In TEXTs)

A Tearful Reunion (In TEXTs)
Dramatis Personae Hive, Jim
In Absentia	2013-03-02 Maybe Hive will even get to wear the sunglasses.
Location
(Jim --> Hive): I'm back in town. (Hive --> Jim): Jeez, what took you so long. (Jim --> Hive): Traffic was brutal. I'll bring you flowers. Took some pretty pictures of the landscape you might like. (Hive --> Jim): Wonderful. I like heather. Landscape, eh. You do any myspace-style self shots? Hold the camera out on the end of a branch? (Jim --> Hive): You don't want to see that, bro. My best rural camo is au naturale. What're you wearing. (Hive --> Jim): Fucking t-shirt and jeans, dude, I'm at the library. Surrounded by thousands of your dead cousins. (Jim --> Hive): That's what I want done when I die. I'm donating my body to a pulp mill. I want to be made into a Sports Illustrated, swimsuit edition. (Hive --> Jim): Pfff. Your luck, you'd get to be the fucking AARP quarterly instead. (Jim --> Hive): You'd still read me. (Hive --> Jim): Pfft. Why? I already know the story. (Jim --> Hive): Because you cheat. (Jim --> Hive): Hey. What am I thinking right now? (Hive --> Jim): We're all going to die. (Jim --> Hive): You are one depressing mother fucker. (Hive --> Jim): But. Not wrong. (Jim --> Hive): I doesn't not look like we're all going to die. (Jim --> Hive): But I was also thinking about tits. (Hive --> Jim): Guessing that would hardly have been impressive it's basically like the free space in bingo. (Jim --> Hive): (.)(.) (Jim --> Hive): Speaking of intimate bits, I have some specs on your little murderbot buddies. I hope you speak computer shit because it's all gibberish to me. (Hive --> Jim): Ennnngh. I have some friends who're good with that shit. We can work it out. (Jim --> Hive): Also. I got a set of wheels. Nissan Altima. You want a lift home? I have this bad boy until Wednesday. I'll let your rev the engine. (Jim --> Hive): She says purr. I'm naming her Tammy. (Hive --> Jim): What the fuck, don't name it. If you name it you won't want to give it up. (Jim --> Hive): No way, this one will last. We met at the airport. She's cherry-red and knows how I like it. (Hive --> Jim): Jesus fuck you're already attached. You'd make the shittiest foster parent. (Jim --> Hive): You haven't seen how fast I go through them yet. (Hive --> Jim): I'd say heartbreaker but man that would mean someone actually attached to your sorry ass. (Jim --> Hive): Tell that to my ex-wife...s. (Jim --> Hive): The car came with sunglasses. You can't make this shit up, this is real deal. (Hive --> Jim): ... It came with sunglasses. (Jim --> Hive): They were under the seat. I just found them when I dropped a tic tac. My mind is blown. This is love. You have to take a picture of us.