Logs:A Certain Boy Scout

A Certain Boy Scout
Dramatis Personae Polaris, Lily
In Absentia	2020-10-24 I just miss him so, so much.
Location <NYC> Evolve Cafe - Lower East Side
Spacious and open, this coffeeshop has a somewhat industrial feel to it, grey resin floors below and exposed-beam ceilings that have been painted up in a dancing swirl of abstract whorls and starbursts, a riot of colour splashed against a white background. The walls alternate between brick and cheerfully lime-green painted wood that extends to the paneling beneath the brushed-steel countertops. There's an abundance of light, though rather than windows (which are scarce) it comes from plentiful hanging steel lamps. The walls here are home to artwork available for sale; though the roster of prints and paintings and drawings and photographs changes on a regular basis it has one thing in common -- all the artists displayed are mutants. The seating spaced around the room is spread out enough to keep the room from feeling cluttered. Black chairs, square black tables that mostly seat two or four though they're frequently pushed around and rearranged to make space for larger parties. In the back corner of the room is more comfortable seating, a few large black-corduroy sofas and armchairs with wide tables between them. There's a shelf of card and board games back here available for customers to sit and play. The chalkboard menus hanging behind the counter change frequently, always home to a wide variety of drinks (with an impressive roster of fair-trade coffees and teas largely featured) though their sandwiches and wraps and soups and snacks of the day change often. An often-changing variety of baked goods sit behind the display case at the counter halfway back in the room, and the opposite side of the counter holds a small selection of homemade ice creams. A pair of single-user bathrooms flanks the stairway in back of the cafe; at night, the thump of music can be heard from above, coming from the adjoining nightclub of the same name that sits up the stairs above the coffeehouse. Now, nearly two weeks since the protests began, it’s beginning to seem like Evolve might not ever return back to normal. The number of tables left empty, theoretically for normal customers, grows smaller and smaller every day, though the cafe never seems any less crowded from one hour to the next. In a back corner, possibly marginally more quiet than the rest of the cafe (but certainly not by much), Lily is pacing while yelling into her phone, where the conversation seems to have escalated quickly. “I don’t care if he didn’t have a will it is extremely obvious that he chose New York so we are BURYING HIM in New York!” Some muffled yells on the other end, tinny through the phone speakers, that suddenly stops and is replaced by a softer voice. Lily’s own lowers, but there is rage simmering under the surface: “Tell Dad to call me back when he can get his head on straight.” Some more murmuring. “I love you too.” She hangs up, throwing her phone onto the couch and flopping onto it herself. Her hair is tied up into a loose bun, already falling out, strands catching in her piercings. A soft grey knit cowl cushions her neck, layered over a black sweater tucked into wide-legs blue trousers. The worn Blundstones she’s been wearing all week have speckles of paint over them. On top of her small green backpack there is a notebook and pamphlets from that morning’s medic training, the remnants of some small pastry on a plate in front of her. It's hard to tell when Polaris is on shift and when she's not anymore, but here she is either way. She looks fairly put together today, by her standards of late, her silver and black makeup neat, her eyes only a touch bloodshot, her green hair braided and coiled at the back of her head, nails painted an uncanny metallic multichrome of purple and green. She wears a black babydoll shirt with a metallic foil graphic of a compass rose, black jeans, and heavy black boots, adorned with steel hardware much like her belt and cuffs. No apron, though, at the moment. She does not approach Lily immediately after the call ends, but a minute later she appears by the couch. "Hey uh..." There's a delay here; she starts to turn away, but then stays her step. "Sorry to bother. Mind if I join you?" Her wide hazel eyes scan the cafe. "Just for a bit." Lily's eyes had closed just a bit when she hit the couch - now they flutter open again, looking up at the green-haired woman. "Oh," she says, sitting up properly, brow furrowing as she looks at Polaris. "I don't see why not." A little bit of hesitation in her tone, a touch of wariness, but Lily clears her stuff away anyway, making room for Polaris to join her. "I'm sorry, have we been introduced? I - there have been a lot of new names, for me, lately." "Sorry." Polaris bows her head and takes a seat, kind of at the edge of the sofa as if she might still, even now, flee the conversation. "I mean--thanks. But no, we haven't met. I'm Polaris. I mean, that's my name." She studies Lily's face, then drops her gaze, blushing. When she looks back up she seems to have a better handle of herself. "I...I'm really sorry for your loss. Thank you for being here. With us." Lily frowns, a hand waving toward herself, beckoning Polaris to get more comfortable. "Polaris, like the star?" She's smiling now, but the expression is tight and small. "It's a very beautiful name." She shakes her head. "Word really gets around here, huh?" There is a brief sigh, wistful and sad. "Thank you. I wish I was getting to be here at a better time." One ankle crosses behind the other. "How did you know him?" Lily pauses. "I don't mean to presume. Just seems to be a common thing around here." "Yeah! Like the star." Polaris perks up a little. "Thanks. I picked it out myself...probably kinda easy to guess." She ducks her head again, unwonted in her shyness. "Yeah, I knew him. He--he literally saved my life. Guess you're probably hearing that a lot, too." It's another hesitant pause, just long enough to fall into the awkward territory where she might be done speaking. "We were also dating. Not," she adds hastily, her shoulders hunching tight, "for all that long. We weren't--we weren't--" She struggles for another moment but cannot finish the sentence, shaking her head instead. Lily's smile brightens just a hint, easing from practiced politeness to something a little more genuine. "A good choice," she affirms. Lily just nods, eyes only widening when Polaris mentions dating. "Huh." It's more to herself than anything. Her eyes run over Polaris again, catching all the metallic glints on her outfit. "Really." Then, realizing she was muttering our loud - "Sorry, I just haven't seen him since we were kids - it didn't occur to me that he would be seeing anyone." Her tone shifts a little, adding some bitterness when she next speaks: "I'm still catching up on who he was." Lily's dubiousness is not lost on Polaris. It's anger that flashes across her face first, then embarrassment. Her shoulders pull in further and her hands clasp together tightly. "He didn't date a lot." She frowns. "Well, he...it's complicated. He had lots of dates. But I think I might have been the first that he..." Her lips compress. The elaborate wire-twist rings on her fingers start to writhe. When her decision is made at last the words tumble out all together. "He was queer -- bi, specifically. Came out about a year ago." Lily catches the look passing over Polaris' face, her own twisting into a frown as well. She waits for Polaris to continue, opens her mouth to speak but then the last piece of information falls from the other woman's lips. "Oh." A beat passes, then another, Lily staring down Polaris' rings as they move. "Oh," she says again, more sadly. "So not a lot of time spent living - authentically, then." She looks back up at Polaris. "I don't know why I imagined him still as a conservative Mormon Boy Scout." A beat, then, softer - "Was it going well? You and him?" Polaris looks away, blinking rapidly. "No, not a lot. He made it count, though." Despite the fact she looks on the verge of tears, the twist of her mouth is definitely a crooked, if fleeting, smile. "But you imagined pretty accurate. He was still a conservative Mormon Boy Scout...who was also nerdy and badass and queer as fu--frak." Belatedly, she glances down to her rings, which promptly stop moving. "Sorry. Nervous habit. It--we...were still figuring things out, but I thought so," She looks up. "I didn't intend to...blab about all that to you. I just miss him so, so much." Lily leans forward, closer to Polaris, lightly resting one hand in the space between them. "I don't mind if you swear - I left the Church a while ago." A sigh escapes her lips. "Does it help? Talking at me about missing him?" In the overhead lights, the similarities to her brother are clear - same nose, same eye shape, clearly cut from the same genetic cloth. "I don't mind it, it's just strange to me. Even after-" she hesitates -"catching up." Polaris takes Lily's hand rather impulsively, her own cold and trembling ever so faintly. "Oh, I wasn't--assuming you minded I've just been trying...to stop." She shrugs, small. "Still am, I guess." Despite her earlier apology one of the rings on her free hand unwinds itself and flows sinuously over her knuckles. "I dunno if it helps. It's just..." She chuckles breathily. "Guessing you're probably darn sick of people telling you how much you look like him." Now it's her turn to hesitate. "Strange or not strange, does it help you? To hear about him?" Lily doesn't laugh, exactly, but there is a huff of breath and a movement of the shoulders that is suspiciously like a chuckle of her own. "I'm getting there. It seems like we're squeezing ten years of comparisons into two weeks." Lily gives the other woman's hand a little squeeze. She hums a little bit before answering. "I think it is. Even if it's a little - strange, and painful, learning this way - it's better than not knowing." She bites her lip. "I think." Polaris nods, too fast and many times, her hand tightening in Lily's. "I can't even imagine--that's so much processing to do. That's...why I didn't want to come at your at light speed, you know?" She sighs. "Guess I kind of--did, anyway." She looks up and meets Lily's eyes, her own gone wide and watery. "Yeah, I agree. Knowing him is worth the pain." Lily pulls her hand away only for a moment, rearranging herself so both arms can wrap around Polaris. Her own eyes are getting moist again when she pulls away from the embrace. "I'd like to hear about you two. Since I never got to tease him about girls or anything." Her small soft smile wobbles. "It would be nice to not go through the pain alone."