ArchivedLogs:Vignette - In Summary...

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Vignette - In Summary...
Dramatis Personae

Peter, Harry Osborn

In Absentia


2013-06-09


Peter summarizes.

Location


happyharry5 has logged in.
SP1D3RM3N447 has logged in.

SP1D3RM3N447: dude
SP1D3RM3N447: duuuuuuuuuuuuuuude
SP1D3RM3N447: dude dude dude
happyharry5: hello peter
SP1D3RM3N447: pffft DUDE dont use my name this is super sekret stuff look lets start over
SP1D3RM3N447: also change your username we are being sekret here

SP1D3RM3N447 has logged off.
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w3bhead has logged in.
happyharry6 has logged in.

w3bhead: dude wtf
w3bhead: you just
happyharry6: hello!
w3bhead: you just changed the number
w3bhead: dude this is incognito okay super agent stuff you cant just change a number just
w3bhead: ok do-over this time pick a name nobody would recognize OK

w3bhead has logged off.
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spyd3r has logged in.
w3bhead has logged in.

spyd3r: DUDE
spyd3r: THATS MY NAME
w3bhead: what does "incognito" mean?
spyd3r: you know what
spyd3r: fine ok look screw it were doing this live
spyd3r: summary time
w3bhead: ok! so what's the haps?
spyd3r: oh man i dont even know where to START
spyd3r: i mean holycrap dude
w3bhead: my dad's sending me to summer camp!
spyd3r: yeah about your dad dude
spyd3r: guys kind of a maneating 7 foot green ragemonster
w3bhead: what?
spyd3r: ok uh maybe lets start at the beginning
spyd3r: first off
spyd3r: ok actually first off i cant tell you like half the stuff
spyd3r: that is going on because uh
spyd3r: hm
w3bhead: are you going to summer camp?
spyd3r: no dude i already went to murder mutant fight camp
w3bhead: what?
spyd3r: augh ok look startover
spyd3r: uh
w3bhead: you are saying very many strange things!
spyd3r: yeah look ok
spyd3r: screw it here goes
spyd3r: half a year ago i found out im a mutant im superstrong and fast and can sense danger so i did what anybody would do and used my powers in the name of awesome
spyd3r: except then i found out there was these evil secret murderlabs where they kidnap mutants and dissect them and stuff and i met a bunch of peeps who escaped them and were gonna go hit a few more
spyd3r: naturally i wanted to help them cuz, yknow, AWESOME
spyd3r: but they were like nope sorry youre too young
spyd3r: so i go and do this dumb thing where i break into a place where they build the weapons to defend the murderlabs to try and get info
spyd3r: except it all goes kinda wrong and they send murderdrones after me
spyd3r: also i saved this girl but i kinda almost got her killed in the firstplace so i dont know if that counts
spyd3r: (also im kind of a terrorist now)
spyd3r: anyway when i did this i got a bunch of info on um
spyd3r: the bad guys. also your dad
w3bhead: my dad?
spyd3r: look your dad is uh
spyd3r: hes basically lex luthor ok
w3bhead: my dad is not bald!
spyd3r: i think
spyd3r: i think you are missing the most relevant thing concerning that comparison
w3bhead: yeah, okay. but he's not evil!
spyd3r: well ok ill just move on for now anyway
spyd3r: when i got this wicked intel i turned it over to the escapees from murderlabs and they decoded it and figured out where a murderlab was and went to save mutants
spyd3r: i wanted to come but they were like 'no wai'
spyd3r: they ended up sending me to uh a cool place for kids like me
w3bhead: kids like you?
spyd3r: um look i cant tell you anything beyond
spyd3r: its awesome i met my bestest bro there
spyd3r: anyway
spyd3r: one of the things i stole from the place i broke into was this awesome bioadhesive paste
spyd3r: which i proceeded to fashion into supersweet awesome thwippy webpistols
spyd3r: anyway after that there was this whole thing in central park where this dude was callin for mutant registration and this poor mutant guy freaked out and shot quills out at everybody and it was like 'ohcrap!' but jackson holland was there and saved a bunch of peeps (even the cops)
w3bhead: jackson holland? i've heard that name!
spyd3r: yeah basically he is
spyd3r: superman
spyd3r: except cant fly also doesnt wear spandex also i think hes gay?
spyd3r: hes totes awesome
spyd3r: saved the mayor
spyd3r: anyway they gave him a ticket for saving peeps (oh yeah)
spyd3r: (mutants get ticketed for usin their powers in public its total BS but whateva)
spyd3r: anyway hes gonna fight that ticket because its just BS why would you ticket somebody for saving your life but anyway
spyd3r: around this time i started saving peeps from fires
w3bhead: what?
spyd3r: yeah look ok people always give me flak about this but seriously its totes cool
spyd3r: anyway when i was doing that i saved a bunch of kids from a fire but there was this terrible lady i saved too and um
spyd3r: all in all it was just uh
spyd3r: i guess not the ideal firstrun for a fledging superhero
spyd3r: but man even batmans gotta have some stories like that one
spyd3r: showin up to punch crime only to find out theres no crime to punch just a bunch of terrible
w3bhead: batman's awesome!
spyd3r: yeah no arguments here
spyd3r: anyway
spyd3r: i also came out to my folks
w3bhead: came out?
w3bhead: wait are you
w3bhead: are you gay?
spyd3r: goddammit
spyd3r: came out as a MUTANT
w3bhead: oh!
spyd3r: i mean
spyd3r: i dunno i mean LOOK lets just uh
spyd3r: skip that part save it for later yeah
w3bhead: okay!
spyd3r: where was i
w3bhead: you saved a terrible lady and came out to your parents as not-gay! um and a mutant?
spyd3r: right
spyd3r: wait what
spyd3r: uh okay sure whateva
spyd3r: anyway after that there was um
spyd3r: this big secret raid on that murderlab i mentioned
spyd3r: and apparently? they fought dracula
spyd3r: also thor and a dragon
spyd3r: the dracula got out and started eating mutant kids tho
spyd3r: tangled with a badass shadow lady under the sewers
spyd3r: even went after some of the peeps who hit the murderlab
spyd3r: even kidnapped me
spyd3r: but in the end the teenage mutant ninja turtles kicked his butt and saved everybody
spyd3r: (i got lost in the sewers for like 3 or 4 days)
spyd3r: when i was down there i went through a secondary mutation
w3bhead: secondary mutation?
spyd3r: yeah so like sometimes mutants they arent done mutating? and um
spyd3r: depending on stuff theyll just spontaneously gain new mutations
spyd3r: mine was wallcrawlin
spyd3r: anyway i ended up gettin attacked by a giant green ragemonster
w3bhead: are you saying that was my dad?!
spyd3r: probably
w3bhead: that makes no sense!
spyd3r: yeah your dad doesnt make a lot of sense
spyd3r: got saved by a teenage mutant ninja turtle (again)
spyd3r: also a bunch of my friends showed up to rescue me which was hella sweet
spyd3r: anyway shortly after that this whole uh thing happened with my friends
spyd3r: basically was just a dramabomb cant go into details but
spyd3r: peeps ended up gettin hurt and two of my bros ran away to the ocean
w3bhead: ...to the ocean?
spyd3r: yeah like the circus except
spyd3r: wetter
spyd3r: anyway we were all superworried trying to get them back
spyd3r: leaving them messages
spyd3r: in the end they stopped being so koi and brought their blue basses back
spyd3r: though there was a doom expo they missed i know one of them would have wanted to see that
w3bhead: doom?
spyd3r: dude do you not watch the news
spyd3r: doctor doom monarch of latveria dudes like
spyd3r: definition of supervillain
spyd3r: look up supervillain in a dictionary youll see him staring back at you all
spyd3r: 'how dare you look me up PEASANT'
spyd3r: anyway
spyd3r: there was also the oscorp gala thng i think that happened before the doom expo
spyd3r: buncha mutants calling themselves the sons of magneto showed up to blow it up and jackson saved your dad
w3bhead: i remember that!
spyd3r: yeah
spyd3r: i think your dads in a lot of trouble with the governments cuz he wants to make the osborn institute
spyd3r: which is like a school for mutants but the governments like 'no wai'
spyd3r: shortly after all that i was doin my superhero thing on rooftops and some girl was up there and i saved her from knifewieldin goons cuz you know IM AWESOME
spyd3r: and i caught a knife but
spyd3r: i also got stabbed which set off
spyd3r: um another secondary mutation
w3bhead: more wallcrawling?
spyd3r: um no not exactly uh
spyd3r: you havent seen me for a while right
w3bhead: nope!
spyd3r: uh well now im covered in chitin
w3bhead: what's chitin?
spyd3r: long-chain glucose polymer
w3bhead: what?
spyd3r: stuff beetles are made of
w3bhead: ooooh!
spyd3r: moving on
spyd3r: while it was still growin (i was all speckled with it for a while) i got caught by the cops after fightin a crazy razor lady and savin peeps from fires
spyd3r: turns out they were runnin an underground mutant fight ring
w3bhead: what? that sounds terrible!
spyd3r: it was dude it was
spyd3r: oh man it was the terriblest
spyd3r: they starved my bros and tried to make them eat me
spyd3r: also i had to fight a lizard and a tree
spyd3r: some of my bros got napped too tho we hung tight met some new bros and um
spyd3r: we got rescued and i dont know whats going on with the cops but apparently
spyd3r: its a totes boondoggle
spyd3r: but after that i um
spyd3r: started seeing someone um
w3bhead: seeing?
spyd3r: you know like dating i guess its kind of complicated
w3bhead: complicated?
spyd3r: well see hes a shark
w3bhead: ...huh?
spyd3r: also while i was kidnapped
spyd3r: one of my friends thought maybe your dad kidnapped me
spyd3r: cuz hes -- kinda? evil
spyd3r: so ze went to question him
spyd3r: and it went um
spyd3r: bad
w3bhead: my dad isn't evil!
spyd3r: he kinda is i mean no offense
spyd3r: i guess i should be more i dunno nice about it? but
spyd3r: dude tried to eat me
w3bhead: you said your bros tried to eat you!
spyd3r: well yeah but they felt really sorry about it
spyd3r: i mean i dunno
spyd3r: anyway now theres a bunch of bugs running underground
spyd3r: kidnapped my best bro plus a bunch of my friends
spyd3r: also kidnapped a hero
spyd3r: so were gonna all go and save em cuz were superheroes
spyd3r: and um
spyd3r: i think thats it i think youre up to speed
w3bhead: wow!
w3bhead: that's a lot of stuff!
spyd3r: yeah
spyd3r: man and i havent even told you about stuff like
spyd3r: this time i met a dragon or this time i talked with a cat dude
spyd3r: look anyway i got superhero stuff to do so
w3bhead: um ok! i guess i'll talk to you after summer camp?
spyd3r: yeah def
spyd3r: peace out

spyd3r has logged off.