ArchivedLogs:Worried in the Attic

Worried in the Attic
Dramatis Personae Ducky. Rasa
In Absentia	2013-12-23 Worrying about absent friends.
Location <XS> - Attic
Dark and cluttered, this place is a treasure trove of Xavier's history, years of lost items packed away and forgotten about in the depths of the fourth floor. Remnants of students and teachers of years past are left over here in bits and snatches, tucked away in dark corners. Students come up here often, to sit and study or sit and think (or sit and smoke), up by a dusty old window on a dusty old pillow -- although that last may not always be such a good idea, given that the one bedroom up here, tucked away in the back of an attic, /is/ inhabited, and by a teacher at that. One of the less-creaky windows looks out onto the roof, and is big enough to squeeze through. As the holidays creep into focus and interrupt everyone's daily lives, Rasa has been seen less and less around the school. Ze showed up for classes when they were available, and met all of hir commitments, but shied away from the company of others after Ivan left. After the article was passed around on Friday, ze stopped showing up to pretty much everything and is only seen in passing when ze makes kitchen raids when no one else is likely to be there. Rasa is holed up in the attic, constructing a small fort out of blankets, pillows and some other miscellany found in the attic. Ze has a small pile of food off to one side, dry goods and a cooler, plus a flash light, a stack of books, and hir tablet. Ze seems distracted by hir fort construction, hir back turned to the entrance. Ze isn't exactly stable though. Initially, ze happens to be a sickly color of green with black hair and a barbed tail, but a few moments later, the colors ghost into grays and then settle into a softer blue. Hir clothes are loose and gray, school athletic gear, for hir comfort as well as the usefulness of their stretching. The tee shirt swims on hir, but as ze grows green once more, it fills out to nigh fitting, the legs increasing in mass and size, but not nearly on as grand of a scale. It all fades after a moment and ze is back to gray as ze ties the corners of two blankets together. Since about halfway through November, Ducky has not been very talkative. Between the zombies, the loss of classmates and friends, and the general craziness that has been life, she has been avoiding people whenever possible, staying outside in the cold for long periods of time, surrounded by as many birds as she can attract before she gets too cold. There have been a few whispers about her sanity lately, and of her frequent trips to the woods or rooftop at odd hours. Any time she is outside, a small, chattering flock of assorted birds follows her around. Ducky is dressed for the chill dampness that awaits her outside, wearing a pair of thick blue jeans, and a thick, black, hooded sweatshirt that is a bit baggy for her relatively slim frame, topped off with an army surplus olive green rain slicker. Her hands are shoved firmly in the pocket of her sweatshirt, and she keeps her head down as to avoid eye contact or meeting the gaze of her fellow students. As always, the dappled gray and white pigeon is nestled in the hood of her sweatshirt, cooing softly and attempting to groom her hair - which is more than a little bit bedraggled, despite being so short, as though she had been pulling at it regularly. There might even be the tiniest bit of a bald patch starting to form at her temple from her continuous fussing with her hair. Ducky is muttering to herself - well, likely to Kushi - as she enters the attic, though what she is saying is so mixed in with cooing and garbled sounds, it barely sounds like English. Ducky pauses and looks up suddenly when she realizes that Rasa is already occupying the room, looking terrified for a moment. "Oh, um, uh, ss..sss. {Sorry}," she finally sputters the last word in poorly accented French, but the stutter in her speech remains "Didn't know... didn't know anyone was up here. Thought it'd be clear. I just wanna get to the roof, and I'll leave y... you alone. Sorry." She tosses the last one out in Spanish, accompanied by the sign for the word as she drops her head again. Her sputtering is more that of someone who has almost forgotten how to talk - thankfully different from the repetitive word choice caused by the illness recently. "Don't apologize," Rasa replies gruffly, hir voice a bit tight from disuse. "It's not like I'm in hiding. Probably wouldn't have noticed you if you didn't say anything." When ze turns to glance over at Ducky, one of hir eyes is bright yellow with an oversized black pupil, while the other is a light blue, ringed in navy, in a sea of white, looking starkly normal in comparison to the other. "Careful out there. The roof is super slippery. And there's no good snow anymore." This seems to disappoint Rasa more than anything, slowly turning away and lowering hirself to hir knees. Hir form shifting mellows out in the presence of someone else, hir size starting to become static while the colors war with each other and divide hir down the middle, green on hir right, with the gray in between shifting between the two. Ducky does what she can to clam up when Rasa snaps, dropping her head and nodding silently - she does, however still sight 'sorry' out of habit, if nothing else. "D...didn't meant to intrude," she mumbles quietly, half to herself, half to Rasa. She looks a bit concerned over Rasa's shifting form, tilting her head in typically birdlike fashion, but not sure how or if she should ask anything. "Yeah, is kinda... damp. And slippery, I guess. But some birds won't come all the way down, and I /need/ to...t... talk," she pauses, huffing quietly in a sound that would likely accompany the ruffle of feathers, had she any, "To them. To ask. T...to bribe." Her hands fidget guiltily in the pocket of her hoodie, and she frowns for a moment, "So you're not in hiding?" "There's a difference between being in hiding and just keeping oneself away from others for mutual well being," Rasa moves one knee, fluidly moving to face Ducky in the door of hir fort, considering her with hir mismatched eyes. "But yeah. Not hiding. If someone want to talk to me while I'm grumpy, they can. It's just best they know I'm a little removed from the school at the moment by choice." Ze balls up hir fists and rest them in hir lap, head tilting as Ducky explains her reasons for being upstairs. "It makes sense. Did you want to borrow some climbing gear? I could belay you and if you slip, you'd be safe. But at the same time, alone, if that's what you need so the birds talk to you. I'd stay inside." Ducky nods slowly, her eyes a little unfocused as Rasa turns to regard her, "Yeah, I can kinda under...stand that sorta. I keep away from people right now because it...seems silly why I'm sad. So I just don't talk. S'easier to... to not talk lately." She tilts her head, mumbling for a moment, a frown creasing her brow as she speaks aloud again, "Kushi says I talk too much right now. And that I should shut up and let you alone." She rumples a hand through her hair, tugging slightly as she does, "Climbing gear? I... dunno. I usually just kinda hang on, but it is slippery. Should be'kay, maybe? But if you wanna help thasoktoo. Dun gotta be 'lone to...to talk. Birds just come to me. Just not the one I want." She frowns deeper, tugging on her hair again, before slipping her hand back into her pocket and starting towards the window that leads to the roof, glancing outside nervously for a moment. Rasa frowns, gray winning out now, everywhere but hir eyes. "You're missing someone - some bird in particular?" Ze wets hir lips in consideration and gets to hir feet, grabbing a large trench coat. "I can hold ya to the surface, no need for gear. Probably keep you warmer with body warmth and all that, if you need to stay out longer." Hir bare feet flex until hir toes flex and regroup, until there are two large ones instead of the more humanoid spread of five. The surface shifts then into something more chitinous. Ze slips hir arms into the coat and produces three fingered hands on the other side of the sleeve. "I mean, if you want. Sorry. Kind of action oriented right now." "Missing someone. Birdy someone. Big bird person," Ducky babbles on for a moment, shifting from side to side in a swaying manner. Another frown shadows her features, and she shakes her head, "Horus. Mi...missing for a bit now. Since the zombies started stopped answering people. S...so I'm worried." Ducky admits, continuing to sway, raising a hand to tug at her hair again, the continuation of her normal nervous twitch. After watching Rasa's feet, she tilts her head, "Oh, huh. Cool," and realizes just how much she has been swaying on hers, and tries to stop. "Actually, hm, might be good, to have help? I'd 'preciate it. Less likely to fall then. Birds won't go find him if I'm not here, they take bribes," she pulls a small string of shiny beads - the kind you see at Mardis Gras - out from her pouch and grins, "Thankfully... they have inexpensive taste. And like shiny shinies." Kushi, peeking around from her shoulder, does bob his head slowly in agreement to the offer of help; the timing of the nod seems to leave little question about the meaning. "Oh. Horus? He's friends with the guys at the loft." There's a softness to Rasa's tone when ze starts that quickly turns hard and cold when ze finishes. "No one there knows where he is either?" Ze frowns as ze starts buttoning the jacket around hirself and moves to open the window. "Okay. Are you ready to do this? Do you need the shiny things now, or will the promise of these things will inspire them?" Ducky looks more than just a bit startled when Rasa recognizes the name, blinking rapidly and tilting her head at hir. "I... yeah. He's my friend. And I'm worried, and I helped find information about the twins in the summer when they were missing, and the birds were helpful then, so I thought they might help me now, if I ask again, since it's been a while," she blathers, rumpling her hair and looking pained for a moment, shaking her head. Kushi gently presses his head into her hand, making a soft cooing sound as though to comfort her. "S..." she bites off the verbal apology, signing the word instead before beginning to button up her coat, pausing to look at Rasa for a long moment, "You sure you're okay with this? I mean, it shouldn't take long or anything, it's mostly just me being outside, and they all, uh, flock to me." Even though the pun would be obvious otherwise, it falls dead in Ducky's rambling voice, "I'll have the shiny thing to show, but suet balls to give them to make them listen. The shiny is a reward for the information stuff." She nods emphatically, pulling several strands of beads from her pocket and wrapping them around her wrist - some look like pieces of costume jewelry, likely picked up on a recent clothing run. "'Kay?" she asks, tilting her head sideways and looking nervously at Rasa. Rasa frowns as well, hir skin clouding grayer and grayer. Ze pulls the window closed and studies Ducky again. "Okay. Here's the thing. I understand being worried about someone, to push yourself looking for them, and to do everything in your power to make sure they are found. I've been through that a number of times in the last year I've been here. On the other hand, Ducky, you aren't just doing everything in your power, it almost looks like you're hurting yourself to make sure he's found." Ze takes a deep breath and reaches out to gesture at the bald spot on her head. "I don't think Horus would want you hurting. How about we put out one last call, then you and I talk to the professor, Horus's roommates, hell, even the twins to see if there are other ways we can search. But we do that later, after you've had some rest and pulled yourself back together." Ducky winces, and rumples her hair again, closing her eyes, "I know. I... was doing so well. But then there was much not talking, and so I focused on worrying, and I've been around the birds so often, it..." She takes a deep breath and focuses, "Making excuses. 'Cause I don't want to think about the possibility that he's gone." She wraps her arms around herself frowning, and looking at the window, and then back to Rasa, "Hurts already." The wince, and reach for her head suggests it's a physical pain, as well. She looks over Rasa and hir changing form, sighing. I just... first time I've actually had someone I cared about, really worried about, in a long while." Her hand goes to the thin spot in her hair, frowning self consciously, then pulling the coat tighter around her. She makes the apologetic sign again, hanging her head, shivering, "I shoulda just been quiet, and gone outside. And not bothered you with this. Lousy friend I am, just dumping stuff on you like this." Another sorry sign and a sigh. "No, Ducky. This is what is supposed to happen. We're supposed to talk to our friends. We're supposed to listen when they say we are pushing ourselves to collapse and we're supposed to stop before we cause ourselves serious damage." Rasa frowns and tilts hir head a little to one side and studies her. "I'm going to help you so that Horus can both be found and you don't have to hurt anymore." Ze reaches out cautiously, resting hir hands on Ducky's shoulders, gently at first, then pulling her into a hug. "Please don't apologize. We'll figure this out. We'll stay safe and we'll find Horus. It's going to be okay." Nodding slowly, Ducky just listens, and gives in to the hug, wrapping her arms around Rasa. "Thank you," she says quietly, slumping against Rasa with a shudder, "Still worried, but... maybe It'll be okay? May...maybe he'll just have... I... I'd appreciate the help," her voice trails off and she shakes her head again. She huffs again, a quiet, cooing sound that is decidedly birdlike; Kushi looks up at Rasa with almost human expression, shaking his head. "S'why were you up here?" Ducky says with a glance up at her friend, "Cause you're worr...worried about someone?" The bird-brained girl steps back from the hug, looking at Rasa askance, "Anything I can help with? I... I'm not good... at talking. At chatting. I talk to much. But I can listen. If you need someone to l...listen." Ducky tilts her head again, frowning, looking concerned. "Partially." Rasa admits, letting Ducky go and watching her with concern. "Yes, I miss someone, but there's nothing I can do about that. Just another incident in which we're powerless children, unable to exact change in our lives." Bitterness starts to leak green into hir skin once more, bleeding from hir yellow eye like heavy tears. "But then there was a lot of bullshit on Friday being handed around the school which - I just couldn't be down there. Can't be down there until I don't want to punch people in the face." Hir hair starts to darken the more ze dwells on the topic. A deep breath, however, short circuits hir anger and leaves hir starting to gray out again. "But... I don't want to punch you. I'd rather help you because I can't help him. Helping you gives me something else to think about. Being worried about Horus is a much better use of my time." Ducky head tilts and watches Rasa, raising a hand up curiously at the green tears, but remembering herself, and not touching. Just listening, watching, her head canted to the side in birdlike fashion, mirrored by the pigeon now on her shoulder. "I... won't say it will be okay. Because that stuff's not the kinda stuff anyone actually wants to h..hear. But we won't be kids forever - and then it'll be our turn to make changes, and do things more... right. Better." She pauses, frowning slightly in an expression of confusion, "Thank you. For, um, for not punching me. I 'preciate that." She ruffles her hair, automatically tugging at it, without thinking much - a bit like a stressed bird, over preening itself, "Okay. So... still wanna help me ask the birds?" She tilts her head back the other way, bobbing it once, "Promise, it'll be the last one, then... then we can go ask for other help? Maybe the Professor will know. He knows a lot." Ducky nods, solemnly, and glances back towards the window once again. "Then maybe I can help you, too." "Okay," Rasa says, opening the window once more and letting in the cold damp air. "Let's do this."