ArchivedLogs:Blueberry Muffins

Blueberry Muffins
TEENAGE ANGST
Dramatis Personae Sophie, Kris, Megan
In Absentia	2013-05-12 Lots of crying.
Location <XS> Great Hall
Kris follows Sophie to the Great Hall and slowly approaches Sophie's hiding place... and plops down in a chair,"You are being angry with yourself for no reason... But I understand the impulse. When I was in training camp, I could not stop staring at a boy... The trainers made me feel... awful and wrong and stupid and filthy for thinking he was pretty... But it is natural. We shall simply tell Professor Wagner you are not used to being touched without warning. That will answer his question without embarassing you, I think? A small thing." She doesn't make eye contact with Sophie though... Merely reaches in her pocket and pulls free a small package of lotion-embedded tissues. "It is not as bad as you think." Biting her lip, Sophie takes the offered package, pulling a tissue out and blowing her nose with just about as little dignity as possible. She sets it on the floor between her legs once it's outlived its usefulness, legs pulled up to her chest. Another tissue is pulled out, but for now she just holds it to her mouth. Eyes shut, face wet, all very messy. "I don't-- I just--" And there comes another short sob. This time she takes a moment to force herself to breathe a little more slowly before she speaks. "He probably thinks I'm the biggest jerk." "He's probably used to people gawking or cringing. I've had the same problem myself when I first transitioned. But you get used to it. At worst, he expects you just need to get used to him. He knows you're a good person. You could also just tell him the truth... Or tell him you were surprised. You don't even have to explain. Just tell him you weren't afraid." Kris pulls a chocolate covered cherry in a singles wrapper, and hands it behind her towards Sophie. She figures the last thing the girl wants is to be stared at. "You are a likable person. I like you, Megan likes you. It will be okay." "Sophie?" calls Megan's voice, concerned for her friend. "Sophie? It's Megan. I've got a cupcake. It's blueberry," she explains, as she flits about six inches off the ground, here and there, clearly unsure where she's going. Sophie even takes the offered candy, though for now she just sets it at her side, not quite ready for the intricate action that is eating. She'd probably choke on it anyway. "I just--" She stops before things get worse again, resting a loosely clenched fist against her forehead. Long sigh. "He's just so cool and neat and cute and.. and cool.." Gulping, she shakes her head, smacking it with both hands. "I just made myself look like a total idiot and he probably thinks I'm a-- a total idiot." She might not realize she's being repetitive at this point. Megan is, for now, either ignored or just not heard. Which might be a good thing, given choice of cupcake. Kris hisses across the hall upon spotting Megan, and calls out,"Come back with a different flavor." ... "I'll eat that one so it doesn't go to waste." It's a cupcake. Better, it's a Megan cupcake. She rests her elbows on her knees, and then turns and finally looks at Sophie,"Trust me... this is not irrecoverable... A few days ago, I had to tell the cutest, nicest boy I ever met that I have boy-parts in my jeans. And you know what? He still thinks I'm a good, awesome friend. If that can happen, then you have a shot at coming out of this smelling like a rose. Besides, he's a teacher, you know... He's probably just hoping you're okay? I know... In the morning, why don't we get up with Megan and cook him a special treat?" "... different flavor?" Megan asks, spinning towards the voice. She looks down at the blueberry cupcake confusedly. "But she always takes blueberry," she mumbles. Nonetheless, and not to be unhelpful, she takes to the sky, wings buzzing loudly as she zips off into the distance. Different flavor, what? Sophie looks up a little confused, but Megan is already gone before Sophie can see what that was all about. Well, anyway. If nothing else, Kris's story does lead to Sophie calming down a little... but that's only so that she can look even more confused. "You... what?" She frowns a little, there - thoughtfully, not disapprovingly! - and -- well, that explains a few things, but. She may not have been aware that this is a thing. There's a moment of silence, there, wherein if nothing else at least she isn't sobbing, and hesitantly she asks, "... so... you mean you'd rather be a girl than a boy oh JEEZ that's what you were talking to Megan about earlier, isn't it?" Sophie successfully distracted? CHECK. Kris actually hates talking about this sort of stuff... But... Sophie needs to feel better more than Kris needs to feel comfy at the moment, "Well... yes. Sort of... Except, I AM a girl as far as I am concerned, rather than just a boy trying to be a girl. Sort of like a giant birth defect, you know? Just born with the wrong body. That's all." She plays with her hair a tad nervously, "So see, things aren't so bad? Get what I'm saying?" The buzzing noise returns a few moments later. "I didn't know what other flavor to get. So I brought six," Megan calls into the great hall. "Where are you guys?" "I think I get it." Sophie nods, wipes her nose with the back of her wrist, and sniffs a little. There, see, all -- or at least mostly -- better. " And Megan arrives just in time for Sophie to realize Kris had made another suggestion, but before she can mention that, there's a bit of hesitation when the pixie asks where they are. But finally -- after just a second or so, really -- she does call out, "We're over here." Clearing her throat a little, she then gets to what she was going to mention. "I actually, um-- when we were out today, at one of the stops I kind of-- bought something. Because of what happened last week, when he scared me and I screamed at him and I just felt so bad and-- oh god--" she bites her lip, eyes going all wibbly again as she wails, "Oh god he thinks I'm the worst!" You have to admit, between that, the garden, and her vanishing during swordplay yesterday, she is making a pretty great case for 'looking like a terrible person'. Kris notes at Sophie, "That girl is going to make any household she becomes a part of happy be sheer baking itself." She rises and holds her hands out to the girl for hugs. 'Cause hugs make everything better. "Oh, come on, the minute he sees what you got him, I'm sure he'll feel embarassed for ever thinking anything was wrong at all." She smiles gently at the other girl and beckons, "Come on now. Megan is probably baking herself sick over wondering what's happening to you. This can all be handled with talking." "Oh!" Megan exclaims quietly, then zips through the air to join them. She settles down nearby and almost immediately her jet black eyes note Sophie's state. "Oh, Sophie," she says, kneeling down next ot her and offering the cupcakes in her hands. "Here, have a sweet. Do you need a hug? Are you okay? What's wrong?" Sophie shakes her head at Megan for the moment, holding up a hand. No cupcakes right at the moment. She does, however, accept group hugs, moving to lean against Kris and sniffle quietly. She's quiet for a bit before deciding what to tell Megan, finally settling on a whimpered, "I'm stupid and Mr. Wagner thinks I'm a jerk." She shakes her head a little, and adds, "I know I'm not but-- but I said something dumb and-- and now he thinks I'm a big stupid jerk. Kris is trying to help me figure out how to fix it." Kris offers much squeezing for comfort. But only medium-squeezage. One human being can only handle so much squeeze. "And I am repeating that he thinks no such thing and that Mr. Wagner is so merely worried about her. It is merely a case of embarassment. I have encouraged her to bake him something in the morning and just explain that it was a misunderstanding." Half of this is said with eyes on cupcake,"I bet you'd feel better if you looked your best when you when to explain. I always do." She looks over Sophie's head and moves her eyebrows meaningfully, as if she could somehow convey that Sophie thinks Wagner is 'teh hawtz'. The cupcakes are put aside immediately, in favor of joining the group hug. "Oh, Sophie, I'm sure Mister Wagner doesn't think you're a jerk. What makes you say that? You're such a sweet and wonderful person; no one could possibly think you a jerk. I'll tell you what. I don't have a roommate, but I have a spare bunk and a sleepingbag. Why don't we go back to my room, just the three of us. We can have cupcakes, and tea, and just talk all night if we have to, until we can figure out how to make everything better. Okay?" If nothing else Sophie has, once again, reached a lull in the crying, but after a few sniffles she explains to Megan, "I just-- he touched me and I panicked and I didn't know what to say and--" She gulps, takes a deep breath, forces down hysterics. "You didn't see his face, it was-- it was terrible, he gave me this look--" Megan's suggestion is considered with a quiet sigh and an eventual nod. "That... that's probably a good idea. So I don't bug Kisha when she's trying to work. Um." Another gulp there, and more firm nod. "Yeah." Kris nods slowly, eyeballing the cupcakes when Megan makes mention of them. Girl's got an addiction. "I'll grab my Rainbow Dash pajamas and neck pillow. I will even bring my makeup kit. It is a bit underdeveloped, but it is fun to play with." Actually, she owns more makeup than is entirely sane at all. "Have you ever seen Forever After? I have it on DVD. I sometimes watch it and hold my unicorn to fall asleep." *SIGH* "It is very romantic." Could she be more mushy? Then she blushes, "I mean... um... I have cookies?" "... Cookies are good! Sugarie things always help when I'm feeling down," she says, then hugs Sophie and Kris again and smiles. "C'mon, let's go get you something to sleep in. Kris can get her DVD player, and her things, and then we'll all go talk. And maybe," she says, "just maybe, you'll see just how amazing you are before the night is through. We certainly think so! And I know Mister Wagner does, too. But you have to believe in it, too." That unexpected expression of girliness -- which, even for a cisgender girl, would be pretty girltastic -- is enough to kind of shock Sophie out of her self-hating reverie and elicits the first laugh in a while. "Okay!" The second hug is met with a counter-squeeze from Sophie as she blushes supremely, running a hand through her hair to smooth it out a little. "You're kinda rubbing it in a little, Meg," she notes with a bashful sort of tone. Voice still a little low, she adds in a mumble, "I did tell you guys I get guilty really easy." Lip bitten, she lets out a small sigh. "He really did.. I mean. He just looked like I broke his heart." Another little sigh, there, but she soldiers on significantly more sedately than she had before. "I'll get my PJs." Her first 'sleepover'. Kris squeals. Like, honest to god, high-pitched, OHGODMYEARS squeals... And darts off. One might almost expect smoke trails behind her she's moving so fast. Probably to get all the ultra-girly things she owns. Megan winces, but she's smiling, as Kris rushes off screaming. "Oh my gosh she's loud," she says, grinning. Then Sophie gets another hug, just a personal one, before she pushes back up to hands and feet and grabs the cupcakes. She offers a hand to Sophie to help her up. "C'mon." Sophie stares after Kris, looking just a bit frazzled. Well then. Uh. It takes her a minute to recover from the surprise, mostly, and takes Megan's hand to help herself up. "Thanks." And just for good measure, she throws in another hug, closing her eyes a minute as she just leans on Meg. "I'm sorry for freaking out like this." Granted, Kris got the brunt of it, but she'll get a similar apology later on! "I just-- I'm not really sure what to do that won't-- Er." She stops abruptly, there, and pulls out of the hug. "Well, anyway, we'll come up with something." "We will," Megan agrees, still holding Sophie's hand. "And you have no need to apologise. This is why we have friends," she says, and tugs the ginger on their way.