ArchivedLogs:Okay

Okay
Dramatis Personae Ash, Jackson	2013-10-22 '
Location <NYC> 303 {Lighthaus} - Village Lofts - East Village
This apartment is cheerful, in its way -- bright and airy, its floor plan open and a plethora of windows providing it with an abundance of light. The tiny entrance hall opens into a living room, small, though its sparse furniture and lack of clutter give it a more open feel. The decor is subdued and minimalist; black and white is the dominant theme, with occasional splashes of deep crimson to offset the monochrome, though of late myriad bright-coloured dragonflies swarm across the living room wall. The couch and armchair are upholstered in black corduroy, the low wide coffee table central is black wood and glass-topped, and a few large pillowy beanbags provide additional seating by the large windows that dominate the back wall. The living room and kitchen both hold a rather inordinate number of lamps in addition to the ceiling lights; standing lamps, small lamps on each counter, large sunlights in the corner. More often than not, they're largely all turned on, too. Towards the back, a couple of doors lead off into bedrooms and bathroom, and to the right, the kitchen's tile is separated from the living room's dark hardwood floors by black countertops. Above the bedroom to one side, there is higher space; a ladder climbs up to a lofted area looking down on the living room. Standing in front of the partition between living and cooking area is a large fish tank: one lone Betta, blood-red, swims regally among several species of black and silver fish. A hallway beyond the kitchen leads further into the apartment. Another bathroom stands just into the hall and the farthest door leads to the apartment's final bedroom, the door usually kept shut to hold in the acrid fumes of turpentine and paints from within. Even with the bustle going on in the apartments and the dozens of people needing tending, eventually life still needs to return to normal. Or whatever passes for normal, here. As such this week has found Jax back at work, and class, and more work; though he's been a constant presence in previous days to help out, now the demands of paying /rent/ are calling him away. In his own glittery-colourful way he still looks polished when he returns to the apartment in the early evening. Metallic purple lipstick, peacocky blue-green eyeshadow, a pair of purple jeans paired with a pale green Lorax t-shirt. He slips his shoes off by the door, heads in to drop his bag and his silver jacket in his room, and turns around with out sitting down again to make his kind of bouncy way towards the kitchen. Lucien has planned menus a day or three in advance; he doesn't need to ask what's cooking in order to fit himself quietly into dinner prep. Grab a cutting board, grab a knife, grab onions. Move to the little compost bin to start peeling them. Ash does not hear the call of the bills yet, as he does not have any to pay off and his shared rent in a really shitty part of town is half-covered by his roommate. Instead, he is opting to take sometime off to focus on a 'family' matter, which mostly entails hanging around the lofts and making sure his Promethean siblings are settling in. Today, he's in the kitchen, helping to mix up the tempeh that has been simmering for the past hour with some seasoning that will help turn it into a more flavorful enchilada additive. He whistles while he works, coincidentally whistling 'whistle while you work,' very much entertaining some of the other helpers in the kitchen. He falls silent when he sees Jackson enter and begin work before greeting anyone. He frowns before moving over, pot in hand and hand in pot, squishing seasoning into the veggie matter. "Hey you. How were your teenagers today? Is today Sex Ed class day or is that another day?" Jackson glances up with a quick curl of smile, a quiet huff of laughter. "Almost every day is sex ed class day, honey-honey, s'in the nature of classes to happen on the regular. Teenagers are stil teenagery. Y'off work today?" He sets one peeled onion down on the counter, starting on a second. "Oh, well, I kind of didn't really pay attention when I went to school and you teach at that fancy boarding school so I didn't know if they had longer classes on certain days and not on others. I have heard about block programs like that." Ash blushes a little and shakes a little more powder into his pot and continues to squish with his one squishing hand. "But good to know! I am off work today. I'm off work for the next two weeks. I bid on a later project and let the company's current job be handled by other people. The bosses prefer it when we take the unpaid weeks every so often to cut expenses, plus I have a decent chunk of change from the Mendel clinic, so I'm actually doing pretty okay for now. How are you?" Jackson shucks the skin off a third onion, transferring them to the cutting board to begin chopping them as Ash chatters. "Six classes a day," he explains as he cuts. "Three days a week, the students have all six classes. Wednesdays and Thursdays, they only have three, for longer periods. So any given class they're gonna be taking four out of five days of the week. So overall," he says with a lopsided curl of smile, "s'fair likely any given day is sex ed day." He gives an exaggerated sniff at the last question, turning his head to one side to dab his eye against his sleeve -- his eye is tearing up now heavily. "S'onions are breakin' my heart. Two whole weeks off, what're y'gonna do with that?" "I was going to hang out here and make sure everyone's safe." Ash's reply is quick and heartfelt, but after a beat, he pauses to soften that a bit. "I mean, you know, help people get settled in, figure out who they are now that they have the ability to do things and go places. I figured I needed so much help when I got out, it's my turn to pass on some of the kindness show to me." He turns to put the pot down and goes to the sink to wash off his hand. "Besides, you guys all have things you have to do and I had the ability to take the time off. Maybe I'll just cook for the next two weeks. You haven't had any of my chiles yet, have you?" "S'good. Always nice t'have all the hands we can get." Jax's chopping goes a little slower with his eye full of tears, methodical but broken up by breaks to press his eye against his shoulder. Sniffle a little bit. "Especially folks who can relate to what everyone's goin' through." He turns his head briefly to squint at Ash. "You met Lucien, yet? Tall, ridiculously gorgeous green eyes, dressed way better than everyone else? He's kinda coordinatin' a lot of the kitchen-logistics, if you want to sign yourself up for takin' over a meal or five wholecloth I bet he'd /love/ to put some'a your dishes in the roster." "Oh... I think I've seen him, but never had a chance to talk to him. He's a bit standoffish sometimes, right? I wouldn't say mean or cold, but definitely a little distant of he's looking to talk with you?" Ash grabs a towel and dries his hands before moving on to the next thing. "I'll be sure to talk to him. I know a couple really easy dishes that can be made huge. Like a nice paella or even a biryani." The wheels start turning in his mind, distracting him for only a moment before he just stares at Jackson. "Oh man, are you okay? I heard it's better if you breathe through your mouth because it's slightly less connected to your eyes." "He's had some bad news lately," Jackson says quietly, with a shrug, "I guess a lot of folks around here have. He's quiet. He's real helpful, though. An' he's kinda crazy-organized when it comes t'logistics, so you just let him know you're interested in bein' on kitchen crew for regular an' I'm sure he'll slot you right in. Paella sounds /delicious/." His teeth flash in a quick grin, bright and amused. "Onions torment me," he explains cheerfully, "/so/ delicious an' so vicious, too." He does try Ash's advice, lips parted even after he's done talking to draw in breaths throuh his mouth instead. "Now if it doesn't work, I'm pretty sure I know a fair few other old wives' tricks to cure the onion tears, but well, that's the one that had the most logic in my mind." Ash lifts the towel in hos hand into Jax's field of vision and offers, "Do you want me to dab? The towel's freer of onions." He leans against the counter, ready to help the weeping artist at any time, his words starting to get away from him. "I'm still perfecting the paella for vegans, but I'll get it down. Some people recommended seaweed to me, to give it a bit of a fishy flavor and they've got that vegan oyster sauce available. Between those two, I should be able to get the flavors right." "I'm fine, Ash." There's amusement in Jax's voice despite the stream of tears. "It's just onions. It'll pass." His eye closes entirely; he continues his chopping after a moment, slow and methodical again and this time uninterrupted by dabbing at his eye. "I use seaweed in these little -- I guess they're inspired by crabcakes but they're tempeh cakes an' I don't even remember what a crabcake tastes like so I got no idea how much they taste like /that/ but if you stop thinkin' of 'em like fake-meat an' just think of 'em as delicious tempeh cakes then oh man, they're incredible. Think there's some oyster sauce in my cabinet, too, though I don't know as there's enough for cookin' in bulk. You done much?" Eye still closed, he nods out towards the living room. "Cookin' for crowds, I mean. Afore all this?" "Oh, no. not really, I mean, aside from cooking for my family, which is usually a big meal, but it's no where near bulk. I just, well, like doing stuff, and figure that simple dishes are easiest to start with. I... will be honest with Lucien when I speak with him so he knows that there's a possibility I will need a trial run as primary cooker, so people don't go without a meal when I freeze up." Ash crosses his arms over his chest as his gaze drifts down to the ground. "Jax, what's your favorite food?" "Simple dishes are good. M'sure you'll be fine, though. Y'give him the recipe ahead'a time so he makes sure there's ingredients enough when cookin' time comes, an' you'll have a fair few folks generally about to --" Jax pokes the tip of his knife towards his onion before doing the last of the chopping. He still hasn't open his eye as he transfers the chopped onions into a pan, though he opens it finally to turn the sink on to cool and stick his head right under the tap. He exhales in quiet relief as the cool water rinses out his eye. "Me, oh gosh, I'd probably live on a pure-sugar diet if people didn't poke me t'remember things like protein. I don't know, though. Favourite /real/ food depends a lot on my mood. Simple home-things are my comfort food. Collards. Cornbread. Black-eyed peas. I don't hardly ever say no to a good spicy Indian curry though. What kinda things d'you like?" "Hmmmm. For comfort foods, I'd have to say sambar. Or grilled cheese with tomato soup." Ash begins, his lips pulling back in a smile as he watches Jax work without his eyes. "But for deliciousness value, well, I like anything really slow roasted. I think. I ... hmmm." He frowns momentarily. "This is why I ask. I asked someone else a little while ago, so I could go get them some comfort food, but they didn't have an answer. I really couldn't believe it until I tried thinking about it for myself. Did you ever forget?" "Forget -- food, no," Jackson shakes his head slighty, cheeks now wet with water rather than tears. he straightens, not bothering to dry his face, letting it drip onto his shirt as he washes his hands. "I grew up growing food, s'too much a part of me to forget. But other things -- other things I forgot. What I liked to do with my free time. What the sun felt like. What clothes I liked wearing. All jus' felt kinda surreal for a while." He shuts the water off once his hands have been cleaned, leaning back against the counter. "Takes some time to learn it all again. Not just the world. Learn who you are, too." Ash nods slowly, considering this as he reaches out and lays the towel on Jackson's shoulder as he washes his hands. He rubs at the back of his neck as he considers in silence for a while, his expression clouded and distant. "It's just... so weird." He draws in a deep breath and swallows. "Ever since we got back there, I kind of feel like the color has gone out of the world and everything is this distilled gray that saps all the light up. I didn't figure it would bother me, you know, going back there, because most of the time I was there I was drugged or controlled or both. I barely remember it - but... now..." He just shakes his head and peels himself away from the counter. "Cornbread is delicious. I think I could safely list it as one of my favorite foods. "I'm sorry," Jackson says quietly, taking the towel off his shoulder to dry his hands. "It's been too soon for you, I shouldn't have --" He draws in a breath, turning aside to grab a head of garlic and start peeling cloves off of that, too. "You know, there's therapists. Both at Dr. Toure's clinic an' workin' with Dr. Saavedro already, even though his clinic ain't open for a couple weeks yet. Life should be colourful. Could be they can help you find your way back to that." "No, it wasn't too soon," Ash remarks quietly, studying Jackson. "I'm going to be fine. I'm already seeing doctors. I just... You guys can't start thinking I'm weak every time I try to discuss when I'm less than perfect." His voice remains calm, but there's a note of sadness behind it. "We're all about the same age, all dealing with the same issue. If I can't be open about some of this stuff because it bothers you, I can do that. But please, don't exclude me because I run my mouth off a little too much?" "Did I say I was bothered, Ash?" Jackson's voice is quiet as well, calm as he peels his garlic. "Or that you shouldn't be talkin' about this? Cuz you definitely should be talkin' about this. If /you/ think that me suggesting getting help for things that stress you is some kind of -- implication of weakness, you'll /definitely/ be off my team. There's not a one of us who should be carryin' all the stuff we do on our own. Please don't put words in my mouth. If you're already seeing people, good. S'important to get enough support through all this." "I didn't mean to put words in your mouth. I heard you say 'it's been too soon' and 'I shouldn't have-' and it felt like you were saying that I shouldn't have been sent on the rescue mission. I just felt like I was going to be taken off the roster for any future rescue mission because things are a little depressive right now." Ash fidgets a little and stares at the kitchen counters, trying to focus on what to do next. "It's not really you and I'm sorry about taking it out on you. Just feel like people can't seem me as anything else than a little kid." "-- gone so long without checkin' in with you," Jax finally finishes his earlier statement, flat and with a very slight lift of his eyebrows. "I try to make a point to check in with my whole team on the way back, but I was a little indisposed this time 'round and with how busy everything gets once we hit home if I ain't real careful about it, sometimes people fall through the cracks." His pierced lips quirk upwards, slightly, at one side. "See you as a little kid? Don't know if you're projectin' or if I should be offended," though he sounds more amused than insulted, really, "you ain't barely much younger'n I am, man." He sets his garlic cloves down on the counter, rinsing onion juices off the cutting board to avoid more fumes before he starts chopping. "Things're always rough, after. You certainly ain't the only one gets a bit rattled by these. I'd be worried if people /didn't/." "Oh. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have jumped to the conclusion. I just... feel strongly about being involved and got concerned." Ash bashfully raises his shoulders and lowers his head, looking down and at the ground. "I mean, if I applied logic to the situation, I would have remembered that you already knew about that time I was worried about my brain surgery healing right and maybe other issues with that and that you still let me on the team because you knew I was seeing the matter through with licensed professionals." His leg begins to bounce with nervous energy. "I am sorry. I didn't mean to doubt you. And I didn't mean to fall through the crack. I'm really glad that you're okay because... well..." He falls silent and grows still. "Just glad you're okay." "Naw, I get it. With everything we seen -- or been through, it's hard not to --" Jackson puffs out his cheeks, exhaling a sharp breath. "Some days I just want to stop, y'know? Live quiet, live safe. An' then I remember everything an' there ain't no way I could just go back to a quiet safe life knowin' what's still goin' on out there an' not doing anything about it." His garlic-chopping grows a little quicker, sharp clipped movements. "Ain't your fault I ain't checked up on you. An' I sure don't never want you to feel like y'shouldn't be talkin' to me about things. I /want/ you on my team. Means I need to really know how all y'all are doin'. And I mean, not just cuz I'm going into /battle/ with you, I just --" Jax shrugs a shoulder quickly. "Want t'make sure you're doin' alright." His eye slants to the side, brow slightly furrowed as he looks over Ash. "-- Flicker says you was the one what brung me out of there." Ash nods solemnly, his gaze still unfixed on the ground. "You were lucky you were in the stairwell. I saw your lights playing off the wall as we were pulling out and I got curious. Then I saw you... and all that blood and the man in the shadows and I got you out." "Lucky," Jackson echoes this word with a quick curl of smile. "Guess I owe you a pretty big thanks, then. Y'know, that was the very first time we gotten in an' out without losin' a body. Wouldn't've, if not for you." "OH. Iii..." Ash blushes dark, perhaps harder to see under that brown skin, but it's there all the same. "Well, I am only as good as I have been trained, so I guess we all get some sort of praise for the nearly perfect run. And you're welcome, but you see, I had to bring you back. I had the bleakest thought when I saw your face..." There's a pause, an awkward shift of his limbs and then, "what would this world be like without your cookies? With that thought in my head, I would have scaled a mountain and dug out a facility by hand to rescue you." Jackson blushes, his hand lifting to touch to his jaw, right about at the point where a week ago he barely /had/ a jaw to speak of. He scrapes his garlic off to join the onions, setting the knife down on the cutting board. He draws in a breath, slow, and lets it out slow as well. "... 'kai give you a hug?" he asks, after a stretch of silence. "Please," Ash replies. "Kind of weird talking about some of this without that physical reassurance that it's not bad for the other person and a hug just ... would be the best way to squash some of that." He smiles as he turns toward Jackson and opens his arms to pull him in close. Jackson is warm, kind of fiercely so when he steps in towards Ash. His arms wrap around the other man, squeezing tight, his chin resting on Ash's shoulder. He doesn't say anything, here. Just squeezes, firm. Ash wraps his arms around Jackson's back, one hand resting high against his shoulder, the other resting somewhat midback. He bows his head and keeps him close and tight.