ArchivedLogs:Puppy Care 101

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Puppy Care 101
Dramatis Personae

Hive, Jim

2013-09-12


(Immediately follows lunch at the construction site.)

Location

Phones


  • (Hive --> Jim): Hey. Fucker. You really should come home and walk your dog.
  • (Hive --> Jim): You can't just leave them alone forever they get sad. And then crazy and feral.
  • (Jim --> Hive): I think your messaging the wrong person.
  • (Jim --> Hive): This is Jim.
  • (Hive --> Jim): No, sorry, I only know one mossy treebrained asshole with commitment issues.
  • (Jim --> Hive): Are you getting high with Lucien again I don't have commitment issues.
  • (Jim --> Hive): I ALSO don't have a dog.
  • (Jim --> Hive): Just some noisy squinty-eyed bastard giving me a hard time.
  • (Hive --> Jim): Jim, I've lived in your head for months, you can't lie to me I'm pretty well-acquainted with your issues.
  • (Hive --> Jim): Also you have the MOST pathetic fucking puppy sitting at your place. Huge brown eyes. Dirty paws.
  • (Hive --> Jim): Sad tail wagging every time he hears the name 'Jim'.
  • (Hive --> Jim): Staring at the door hopefully thinking you're going to walk through it ANY minute now.
  • (Hive --> Jim): You really need to either come the fuck home or take him to a gorram shelter and let him know you're giving him up for good.
  • (Jim --> Hive): Are you talking about my Mexican?
  • (Hive --> Jim): Yeah, your fucking chihuahua.
  • (Jim --> Hive): That's racist.
  • (Jim --> Hive): Also what's wrong with Ash.
  • (Hive --> Jim): It's fucking pathetic, man. He's sitting there alone losing his fucking mind and clinging to this sad FAITH that any day now you're coming back to him.
  • (Hive --> Jim): What's wrong with him is that he spent two years forgotten by the world in a torturelab and then the first friend he made when he got out ditched the world and forgot him, too.
  • (Hive --> Jim): And he's refusing to move on because he is REALLY CONVINCED you're coming home any day now.
  • (Hive --> Jim): So in the meanwhile he's just descending into a ball of neurotic crazy. Like dogs do when you leave them alone forever.
  • (Hive --> Jim): ARE you coming home? Because you should. Or you should let him know that apartment's just staying empty and he can move on with his life.
  • (Jim --> Hive): Jesus you'd give a NORMAL guy a commitment issue with this kind of shit.
  • (Jim --> Hive): He hasn't said anything far as I've heard so this is all news to me.
  • (Jim --> Hive): Don't you work with him?
  • (Hive --> Jim): You can't feel my eyes rolling at you anymore, so I'm just going to tell you that they were rolling at you pretty hard just now.
  • (Hive --> Jim): Yeah, he works for me.
  • (Hive --> Jim): Sometimes, Jim, when you have friends, you have to OCCASIONALLY remember that they are people. Sometimes even people with feelings.
  • (Hive --> Jim): It's not hard. I gotta get back to work. Just talk to the fucking kid he is the saddest motherfucker and I have to listen to his sad sad brain all gorram day.
  • (Jim --> Hive): Christ save me if you want to try talking to me about feelings.
  • (Jim --> Hive): Y'know I'm a fucking person too, assmunch. Whatever, I'll talk to him.
  • (Hive --> Jim): Good.