ArchivedLogs:Transience

Transience
Dramatis Personae Shane, Xiao-shan	2013-10-06 '
Location <XS> Xiao-shan's Room - FL3
Xiao-shan's office is much like a doctor's waiting room; awash in white, with everything around the visitor structured to create a sense of peace and tranquility. The walls are decorated with soothing paintings of landscapes; a large window opens up to expose a lovely view of the Xavier estate -- including the lake Shane and Sebastian so often frequent, barely visible under the cover of the night. Xiao-shan sits on one side of the coffee table; the giant woman is dressed in a sharp gray pinstripe jacket and pale blue shirt beneath a white vest; her hair is pulled back in a ponytail. She's prepared tea, though who knows if Shane will indulge. "How have things been going with you and your dad?" she asks. "My dad's amazing." Shane answers this flatly. He's dressed in dark grey slacks, a houndstooth vest over his button-down shirt. His hands are rested over his stomach, and he is slouching down in his seat, legs stretched out beneath the coffee table. He's not taking tea. Just kind of staring around the walls, and then out the window, his inner eyelids slowly blinking. "So I noticed," Xaio-shan replies, though her tone is wary. "You seem to have a number of amazing people in your life. But," she adds with a slight smile, "I didn't ask about him -- I asked how things are going between you." "I am drowning," Shane tells Xiao-shan, looking up towards the ceiling now, "in amazing people. You have really shitty decor in here, you know that? It looks like a goddamn doctor's off-- well. I guess it is." His jaw clenches up at this. "Things are great." “The idea,” Xiao-shan replies, that slight smile extending a little further, “is to create a safe, neutral place -- as unchallenging as possible, I suppose. Though depending on the person, I guess boring decor can be very challenging.” This observation gives her reason to pause, a finger curling under her chin -- even as her other hand, massive enough to palm a person’s skull, descends for that tea-cup. “From what I’ve read, you’ve been operating in permanent crisis mode since the day you were /born/,” Xiao-shan adds, lifting the cup of tea -- her large fingers looking so ridiculous as they hold the tiny cup so daintily. “I imagine great for you would be -- very quiet? Calm? Boring?” she offers, testing each word as she huffs a breath out to wave away the steam from the tea’s surface. “/Have/ things been boring?” "Boring decor isn't challenging, /doctors/ -- did you even read our fucking files?" Shane shakes his head irritably. "I guess it wouldn't matter if you had you can't really learn much just from --" His teeth clench down, fingers pressing harder against his stomach. "Great for me is great. I don't do well with boring. I don't think anyone in my family has ever been boring. And what you /have/ read sounds like a crock of shit. Crisis mode, what the fuck does that even mean." “It means that while some of us grew up in a space that was safe and warm, you grew up in a space that was dangerous and hostile,” Xiao-shan responds, choosing her words with care. “This school is designed to be a place where mutants can learn how to navigate hostile spaces safely. But you’ve /grown up/ in those spaces. You probably didn’t even know what a safe place was, before--” Her lips purse. The sentence goes unfinished. Instead, she sips her tea, only adding after: “--how is your brother dealing with the change in dorm rooms?” "It's not," Shane says with some annoyance, "a crisis. Crises are changes. Turning points. Things that shake your life /up/. I never /had/ crises. It's not /crisis mode/ if it's all you've ever known. It's just life. The crisis only comes when you've got to adjust to something new." His eyes narrow at the question about Sebastian. "Why don't you ask him?" “Fair enough,” Xaio-shan responds, the cup of tea settling back to the saucer, though that tiny smile that had been lingering on her face has been switched out with a small, thoughtful frown. “I will ask him. I’m interested in your opinion -- you both mostly sleep in the lake together anyway, don’t you?” She reaches, then, with one of her fingers, toward her neck. “--has that -- device? Collar? -- helped you with sleeping out-of-water?” "My opinion on how he's doing?" Shane's ridged brows hike upwards. His posture tenses, further. "Yeah. We sleep together. Out there. Even if I could breathe on land by the time a whole night's passed my skin's usually cracking if I'm out of water. And no. The gills on my sides are longer anyway. It helps a lot when I'm awake. Like a reminder. When I'm asleep --" He shrugs. “It’s a shame we can’t get you a room-sized aquarium,” Xiao-shan remarks, although the comment sounds more frivolous than serious; it’s accompanied by a tiny upward twitch on the left side of her mouth. “But, yes -- you /are/ the closest person to him.” Then, with a bit more softness: “You know, Peter talks about you -- a lot. During these sessions. Nothing,” she swiftly adds, one large hand rising as if to fend off an immediate response -- though only half-joking, judging by the deeper twitch of her mouth -- “/incriminating/.” "We've thought about it, but water is /really heavy/. They make little wave pools for practicing swimming in place -- like -- water-treadmills? Those'd be good too. Except. Expensive. And still heavy." Shane shrugs a shoulder, claws making quiet scratching noises as they prickle down against the front of his vest. "But yeah. I am the closest person to him." This sounds just a little defensive, but his scowl fades at the mention of Peter. He twitches uncomfortably in his seat, eyes wandering off towards the window. "Are you supposed to talk to me about what he talks about?" “No, not in any detail. At least, not unless he makes it clear that it’s alright,” Xiao-shan says. “Though I very much doubt I’m betraying any trust by telling you he talks about you.” The twitch graduates into a full half-smile, now, crooked as she looks down at Shane, watching his expression closely. “Or that the things he says are always overwhelmingly positive.” The half-smile shows signs of erosion -- ever-so-slight. “Do you ever feel like you don’t deserve it? The admiration he has for you.” Shane's brows lift again. "Why. Do you think I do?" “I don’t know,” Xiao-shan admits. “I know you’re very strong. Both your brother and you. I imagine it would have been very -- easy,” she says, although by the way she enunciates the word, it’s clear she’s unsure if it’s the right one, “to have stayed in the ocean. Particularly considering what you’ve gone through -- what you may still /go/ through. At the very least, I can /understand/ why he feels the way he does about you.” "Can you?" Shane's brows stay raised. "You don't even know how he feels about me." He sits up in his chair, a little bit straighter, pushing himself up out of his slouch though his shoulders stay slumped. "I have a dad. Two dads. I have a little brother. Do you really think it'd have been easy to just ditch them?" He sounds genuinely curious on this question. "Do you have family?" “Yes,” Xiao-shan says, to the last question, before: “Two dads? Is Jackson--” She purses her lips again. “--I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to imply that it would be easy for you to throw away your family, only that… it must have been tempting. To stay in the ocean. To not even try to become part of a family in the first place. I have two parents. No siblings,” she adds, before continuing: “I don’t know how he feels about you,” she agrees, “not the full scope. But I think I can see, at least in part, why he -- looks up to you.” "Oh. Right. It was just yesterday. I guess he hasn't told a lot of people yet. You should see his ring though, it's fucking gorgeous." Shane lifts a hand, claws raking slowly back through the hedgehog prickle of spikes atop his head. "I don't think he's had a lot of people in his life to look up to. He'll find better. It'll pass." “That’s… wonderful news,” Xiao-shan says, and now /both/ sides of her face slip up into a smile. “I didn’t know he was--” Ah! But then that next comment comes, and the smile fades; Xiao-shan doesn’t immediately respond to it, though -- simply peering at her tea, instead. "Didn't know he was a fag or didn't know he was seeing someone?" Shane tilts his head curiously to one side. "Because I thought that first one was pretty -- well, OK, no, I mean Bastian dresses even /more/ flamboyantly than Pa does and /B/ doesn't like dudes so whatever. But yeah. His partner's -- pretty much the sweetest. On earth. Maybe except for Pa." He shrugs, turning his black eyes on Xiao-shan thoughtfully when she quiets. "What." “That he was seeing someone,” Xiao-shan states, her eyebrow giving just the /slightest/ twitch at the word ‘fag’. Though she otherwise does not react, her eyes lifting back up to regard Shane as he shoots her that black-eyed gaze and fires off that question. “You don’t think that what you have with him is going to last, do you?” “He’s seeing someone amazing,” Shane says flatly, and in the next breath: “As a general rule I don’t think anything is going to last.”