Logs:The What If Game

The What If Game
Dramatis Personae Astrid, Naomi	2020-12-11 “Maybe we are expecting too much from ourselves, right?”
Location <XAV> Girls' Bathroom - Xs Second Floor
Bright and clean, this bathroom is designed for communal use. Toilets and sinks to one side, showers on the other. The shower stalls are wide, designed with space inside for hanging clothes and changing. The sinks have, by habit, had space claimed by them with people's own personal toiletries, a small basket of goods here, a toothbrush and toothpaste there, a large overflowing basket there, name tags appended to all of them, though that does not stop the occasional friendly (or not so) pilfering of a bit of someone's face wash here and there. It’s about midday - Naomi should probably be in class, now, but nobody has yet come fetch her for French I or Algebra or whatever she’s actually signed up for this term. Instead, Naomi is taking a shower. Has been taking a shower for a long while now - the water in her stall intermittently stops and starts running again, her flip-flopped feet occasionally moving in the stall but more often standing perfectly still. Eventually the water shuts off for a final time and Naomi emerges, grey cotton t-shirt wrapped around her locs, an oversized Ryan Black t-shirt tossed over her still damp skin with just the hems of her flannel shorts peeking out from the under the edge. Her caddy of toiletries slides back into its spot on the sink counter as she looks at herself in the mirrors. Pulls at a flap of dead skin on her lip. Reaches for moisturizer and begins to work it into the skin underneath her eyes and her scales, her fingertips slow and pressing just a little more harshly than is needed. Astrid is banking on the fact that the school will be cutting some slack to those that have recently returned through the rift and not force them to start attending classes just yet. She hasn’t made any official inquiries on the subject, but the fact that she just rolled out of bed shows the unofficial stance she is taking. First thing on her list is to head directly to the restroom with towel and toothbrush in hand. She is still looking worn out; dark circles present under each eye and her usually wavy hair mostly plastered to the left side of her head. The small cuts criss-crossing her face are well on their way to being fully healed. She’s dressed in an oversized worn black t-shirt with the words “Stop Plate Tectonics written in white, a pair of soccer styles shorts and Adidas slides. The same little cuts found on her face are patterned all over her arms and legs too. She stands before one of the sinks brushing her teeth slowly in a circular motion with her towel hung in the crook of her left arm. She offers a simple nod to Naomi when she emerges from the shower stalls. Naomi pauses, just slightly, when Astrid acknowledges her - there is a full sink between them, insurmountable distance. Her eyes drift to Astrid’s reflection, to the reflection of the cuts and the dark circles under the other girls eyes. Her fingertips press harder against her own skin for just a moment. against the edges of the scales that run up onto her cheekbones. Slow, to Astrid’s reflection - “Ion remember if - I apologized, already. For making you explode back in Maine.” A soft grinding of scales as her brow creases. “Ion think I did. So. ’m really sorry.” She reaches for the tap, washes the excess lotion off her fingers. The brushing continues for several seconds, hand and forearm moving in slow, methodical circles. Watching Naomi’s reflection, Astrid’s head remains facing forward while her eyes wander toward the mirror two sinks down. She tries to speak, but quickly stops herself after the first garbled word spills out. The sink is turned on with the twist of a handle and Astrid’s head dips down to clear out the remaining toothpaste. “You did. And… really there is no reason for you to do so again. Seriously.” She smiles softly at her own mirror, face still forward with eyes straining to the side. “You didn’t cause me to do anything I wouldn’t have done anyway.” Naomi’s shoulders have curled up in anticipation of a reprimand that never comes. Her eyes go wide - the tap runs for an extra second before she shuts it off. “Oh. Cool, then.” She begins to step away from the counter, getting maybe two steps away before spinning on the tile back to Astrid.“Wait ion get it. Are you on a timer or somethin’? Cuz like -“ here her cheeks begin to darken, her eyes drifting from looking at Astrid’s reflection to a spot of clear countertop. “I thought - you went boom cuz of the robots. ’N we ended up wi' the robots the first time cuz I was real stupid.” Her expression, formerly pretty nervous, is now solidly confused. Not wanting to set her toothbrush down on the sink, Astrid quickly shoves it back into her mouth to free up both hands. Her glasses are removed, arms folded and neatly placed near the faucet. She begins to rub both eyes with the heels of palms. “Nope, no timer.” She says through muffled words, quickly pulling the toothbrush free. “I mean… I would have done that no matter what, right? Like, those robots were out there and would have found us anyway.” It’s clear she doesn’t think the first encounter was at all the other girls fault. But her tone audibly drops as she continues, a seriousness laced in her words rarely seen. “The second one was because of the robots and me.” “Oh.” Naomi does not seem convinced of the inevitability of this, but she does mumble a small “Maybe, yeah,” in deference to the older girl’s assessment. Then - “[I]Second[/I] one?” Her eyes go wide. “But - the dart - didn’t that like. Turn off your -“ Her cheeks go darker still, arms wrapping around her chest. Astrid nods as what little memory she has of the pizza barn explosion starts running through her head. Glasses are put back in place. “It did at first… yeah. But then.” She takes a deep breath, holding it in for a couple seconds as she stares at Naomi’s reflection. “I became unstable.” She practically exhales at the same time. She’s watching Naomi closely, looking for any outward signs that she is becoming uncomfortable around her given the new to her information. Naomi’s eyes, still wide, blink once, slow. She bites down on her lower lip. “Jesus.” This is said low, then repeated. “Jesus Christ. That how - that why y’all got caught?” Her brows furrow together further, the imbricate scales on her forehead jutting out as they shift and slide over each other. “K.C. didn’t give us much. Detail. When she told us.” Astrid nods once, still staring at the reflection. Her grip begins to tighten around the toothbrush, scraped knuckles turning white. “Yeah, it was because of me they got us.” She breaks her stare for the first time in what seems like several minutes, eyes falling down to the drain at the bottom of the sink. “Blew a hole straight to the sidewalk… or so I’ve been told.” She holds her gaze low, shoulders starting to slump as her grip begins to loosen. “Shiiiiiiiiiit.” Naomi looks from Astrid’s reflection to the girl herself, staring kind of directly at her shoulder. “That is. Awful.” Her lips pull into a tight smile. “But you were - unstable, right? So it’s not like it was your fault or nothing. Just,” a small shrug. “Sucks ass.” “Yeah, sucks ass.” Astrid echoes. “I know it isn’t exactly my fault, but still....” She finally looks back up at the mirrored reflection of Naomi, her jaw muscles beginning to strain as she clamps her teeth together. “I can’t help thinking if I had a better handle on things, the whole situation could have been avoided, right?” She finally gives up, letting the toothbrush fall into the sink as both hands immediately go to her forehead, fingers pressing down hard. “Fuck… I almost killed Cassy and messed up Beau pretty bad.” “And I almost killed all of us.” Naomi’s voice comes out remarkably straight forward, with a small shrug. She comes back to the counter, pulling the toothbrush out of the sink and setting it gently on the side of the counter. Her hand quickly pulls back to her face, knuckles pressing against her lips and chin. “Maaaan, the hell we doin’. Two of us pro’ly feel the shittiest about this whole bullshit and I’m tryna one-up you?” Shakes her head, the tail of the t-shirt turban shaking slightly loose - she reaches to tuck it back in. “But we don’t know what could have happened if you didn’t do what you did.” Astrid says flatly. “Could have ended much worse. We know exactly what would have happened without an explosion.” She watches as her toothbrush is pulled from the sink and set down before turning around, leaning so that her back presses against the edge of the sink and she’s facing Naomi and not the reflection. “No shit.” She shakes her head as a smile begins cracking apart both lips. “Maybe we are expecting too much from ourselves, right?” Naomi’s lips press together for a moment. “I guess?” She doesn’t sound wholly convinced. “I dunno how well y’all were hid, I guess.” Her gaze drifts back to the countertop, eyes unfocused. “I dunno what we shoulda been expectin’ of us, either. I wasn’t expecting to make it home at all - but maybe, it woulda been faster. Easier. Maybe Marcus woulda come home.” There is a soft hitch to her voice here - she shakes her head. “Or maybe all o’ us would be still there. Ionno.” Astrid shrugs half heartedly, squinting through her banged up black frames as she now looks directly at Naomi. “Impossible to say, right?” She crosses her arms, towel now hanging directly down in front of her as it is moved from the crook of her elbow to her forearm. “I mean, we can play the what if game all we want, but what good will that do?” She tilts her head down, staring at the tile just before her feet. “At least we are all alive.” Naomi nods once, not yet raising her head to Astrid. “Yeah, you right.” Her tone is more resigned than convinced, but her eyes seem to come back into focus now. “Alive an’ in one piece.” It seems like there might be more to that thought, but when Naomi tilts her gaze back to Astrid she’s on a different train of thought with full seriousness. “How long you think they gon’ let us blow off class? To process or whatever.” There is a slight twitch to Astrid’s lips from what Naomi says next, as if a smile is trying to force its way to the surface. “Not sure…” Biting down into her bottom lip, she further ponders the question and begins to shift around. Having the edge of a sink jutting into her lower back isn’t exactly comfortable, so she stands up straight. “Hey.” She quickly spits out. “What if we get out of here.” That smile is finally emerging. “Take advantage of it right now?” One eyebrow goes up, then the other, Naomi’s face slowly spreading into a small smile. “We jus’ got back and you wanna go for another trip?” Her tone is- dubious, but only for a moment before her face cracks into a grin. “Hell yeah. Let’s bounce.”