Logs:Try, Try Again

Try, Try Again
Dramatis Personae Daiki, Tabitha
In Absentia	2020-09-17 "I can’t just, un-time bomb."
Location <XAV> Gardens - Xs Grounds
From indoor gardens to outdoor, though without the protective greenhouse glass the back gardens do not last all year round. Still, the gardens out here are well-tended and well-worth spending time in, as well. The paths wending through the beds of flowers and herbs and vegetables spread out through the school's back grounds, tended by students as a credit class. Benches offer seating and a small pond is home to koi and turtles, as well as a few frogs. At the far back edges of the garden, a droning buzzing marks a few stacked white boxes as beehives. Tabitha is impatiently pacing around, nibbling at her black nail polish like some rabid animal. Today, she’s wearing her black tight crop top — now washed of any debris — with red Xavier athletic shorts she had swiped from the laundry as well. She’s wearing mismatched socks and sneakers that didn’t belong to her, but who they did belong to was not apparent. She’s pacing, pacing, sweating, hands running through her messy blonde hair over and over again. Repeat, repeat, repeat. How long does it take for someone to arrive? She had left Daiki a note, vague as ever. '”MEET IN THE GARDENS. WE GOTTA TALK. ALONE. THIS IS NOT A HOOKUP. PROMISE. TABBY.”' Written in thick Sharpie, all caps, scribbled onto the back of a receipt. It was all she had around. She just hoped he took it seriously, since — it was serious. Obviously. But not so obvious to anyone other than Tabitha. Daiki arrives, hair still damp from a recent shower, dapper in a sharp, slim-fit black blazer with white pinstripes, blue oxford shirt with a silver skinny tie, trousers to match the jacket, and polished back derby shoes. He looks around the garden and makes a beeline for Tabitha once he spots her. Even though he is calm and collected now, his power sweeps over her as a wash of intensity, impossible to wholly ignore. "Apologies for the delay," he says, fussing at the lapels of his jacket. "I doubted you'd want me to come down all sweaty from training." His head tips slightly to one side. "Is everything alright?" Tabitha immediately turns her full attention to Daiki, relaxing as he came closer. “God, I was worried you weren’t gunna show up.” Her Virginian accent comes out as she waves her hand to reassure him. “Yeah! Yeah, nothing’s wrong. Really. Not just... downplaying things.” She flashes a quick smile but it is clearly forced. She moves to sit but decides against this, beginning her pacing again. “I’m not... good at this shit. So just... uhm, yeah. Keep it in mind.” Clears her throat. “I... I know, okay? That I-I screwed up. I didn’t mean to blow up everything! Listen, I know that, that sometimes I do, but I would brag about it, yeah? You gotta believe me, man, I really didn’t mean it. My powers have been hard to control lately, I-I can’t really—“ Tabitha pauses to collect her thoughts, biting on her lower lip. She’s hesitant to speak again, and tries to, but stops to think more. “I’m... I guess, I’m just tryin’ to say that — that, you know?” As if that made sense to anyone but her. “... so, yeah, that’s it. You can go.” She waves her hand, this time dismissive. "I have to admit, the wording of the note made me worry I might have to awkwardly come out to you." Daiki's smile is gentle, not at all derisive. "But I wasn't going to leave you hanging. And I absolutely believe that you didn't mean it. That's a very difficult position to be in." He does sit down on a bench, patting the seat beside him. "I'll go if that's what you really want, but it kind of sounds like something's up. So, let's talk." Blue eyes dart from Daiki, then to the seat, back to Daiki. “Okay.” Tabitha states and sits down next to him, although she’s jittering the whole time. Itching at her elbows, tapping her foot impatiently, beginning to sweat. “Okay,” she begins, “okay.” She abruptly stiffens, straightening her back. “This does NOT leave this here bench, alright? I am tellin’ you this ‘cause, ‘cause you’ve always been smarter than me. So maybe... you can make sense of things.” After this statement, she reverts back to her fidgeting. “I... I moved back here maybe like, two weeks ago. Back to New York, I mean. I was in SanFran before that, I went there after I left the X-Men. Ever since I got here, it’s just been... so so hard to control it. I’ve had this shit for TEN years! I know it like the back of my hand! It’s so natural, like — like breathing. But now it’s...” Her brows furrow to focus. “It’s like, there’s a gate, right?” She holds up her two hands to demonstrate the gate. “And — and th’ energy just kinda flows out at this steady pace. Like, mmnrhrhrhrh.” Tabitha attempts to make an ‘energy sound,’ while her fingers wiggle to show the energy flowing. “And now, the energy, it’s like this.” She wiggles her fingers faster, frantically. “Flowing WAY too fast, too much. And by the time I close that gate,” she clasps her hands together, “shit’s already way too big. I can’t just, un-time bomb. So now I’m left with this huge ass death bomb and a few seconds before it detonates. You see the problem, yeah?” Daiki traces an X over his chest with a slender index finger. "Cross my heart," he says confidently. "Won't tell a soul." He's quiet while Tabitha explains, a slight smile at the initial demonstration of the "gate", a serious nod of his head at the question. "That's a pretty significant problem," he agrees. "The way I see it, probably it's either because of some stuff you need to process about your stint at school, or with the X-Men." He pauses, considers thoughtfully. "Or it's to do with why you left San Francisco." Tabitha’s leg is bounce, bounce, bouncing away, jaw clenching as she becomes more restless. She stands up, beginning to pace around while biting at her nails again. She goes over what to say in her mind but she can’t bring herself to say it. She sits back down. “I... had a girlfriend. Sylvia.” Her words are awkward, uncomfortable to say. “... we, uhm, lived together.” So quiet, like a whisper. “... she was beautiful, and — and smart. She helped me, man. I... I was going to therapy, off drugs, I was good. Great.” She shakes her head, scoffing. “Her mutation, it was... beautiful, not like mine. She had the most, most beautiful butterfly wings... blue, n’ black... And — and in the light, it was almost like they’d shine.” She laughs coldly, tears freely flowing from his eyes. “She... she broke my heart, man. Just... shattered it. And now I’m here, by myself, wit’ no friends or family or ANYTHING to my fuckin’ name...” She sits up, eyes wide. “God, did I-I — I really just said all that, huh? Wow.” She wipes her eyes and laughs again, more sincerely. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to dump all that on you. Just, forget about it.” She stands up. “I’m fine, it’s fine. I can handle it.” "I agreed to talk," Daiki reminds her gently. "You don't need to apologize for doing just that." He stands, though he makes no move to intercept her. "Please hear me out? What you went through -- that sounds terribly difficult." He inclines his head slightly. "I think it makes sense that you'd be having difficulties with your powers now. But I don't think it makes sense to turn away from your friends now." A ripple in the calm intensity of his ability signals his own unquiet. "I'm sure Shane would love to see now if he could -- perhaps get up to some shenanigans together." His smile is very thin. "Perhaps soon he'll be out. But in the mean time...you have other friends, here and around the city." His hand turns palm-up, a graceful manual punctuation point. "I don't mean that it won't be easy, reconnecting with people after what you've been through, but I think that it might help. Not just you, either." Tabitha listens. She picks away at her mostly gone nail polish. Her eyes are red, wet, puffy, resentful. "I guess, yeah. Xavier used to say that, that emotions make y'er powers stronger, right? Maybe he was good for one thing." She smiles weakly, wiping her eyes again. This goes away swiftly. "Shane? Did something happen to him? God, please tell me he didn't get himself in some deep shit." She sighs, holding her head in her hands as fingers lace themselves between the strands of hair that fall on her face. "... I drove everyone away, man. I was a bitch. Hated everyone. I wanted them to hate me so that, that if I left, no one would miss me, y'know? But now that bit me in the fuckin' ass 'cause I'm here on the verge of relapsin', 'bout to blow myself to shit n' everyone HATES me! And -- and I try to fix things n' I just make 'em WORSE, like I ALWAYS do!" Ire fills every word, hands beginning to shake. They start letting out a soft glow, small streams of white light shining between her fingers. "Shane's in jail," Daiki says quietly, matter-of-fact, though another ripple of his power suggests he does not feel as calm about this as he appears. "They were theoretically after B, but they got him instead and refuse to let him go free." He shakes his head slowly. "Hey. Tabby. Everyone doesn't hate you. I've heard some teachers complaining about your bombs, but the fact you haven't been asked to leave, that tells you something, doesn't it? And, at any rate?" His smile is warm. "I don't hate you. I'm glad you're back, even if you're having a difficult time." He lifts a hand. Hesitates. Drops it again. "Heaven knows I caused my share of chaos when I couldn't control my powers. You got them under control before, and I know you can do it again." Tabitha's eyes are wide, unblinking, terrified. "Jail," she repeats in disbelief. Silence befalls her again. She clasps her hands together, tightly, tight enough to smother out the light that was coming from them. "Yeah, you're right, I guess." She doesn't sound too convinced. "I just... I don't think I can this time. Not by myself, you know? I tried to do what I did when I first got 'em, y'know, with small bombs. But that made me blow up an ENTIRE fuckin' store!" Her brows furrow in thought. "... but when I was with Kurt, I could make little guys like before. Now I'm just confusing myself." She rubs her temples, sighing as her shoulders slouch. "Thank you, Daiki. Really. It was nice, to tell someone. I think." She smiles weakly. Exhausted. "Just -- promise me one other thing, okay?" Tabitha moves closer, paying a quick glance to their surroundings to ensure they're alone. "If... if I fall off the wagon, y'know, hard," she whispers, "don't... let the others see me like that. If you can." "Might be best to avoid making bombs at least for the time being?" Daiki suggests. "And try to focus on getting to emotional stability first. Just temporary, you know? I'll try to get you some support on the powers front, but in the mean time, check in with Hank. See if he has any recommendations." He swallows hard. "I'll try my best. Promise."