Logs:Schrödinger's Bullet Proof

Schrödinger's Bullet Proof
Dramatis Personae Emilia, Tok
In Absentia Bryce, Dallen, Shane, Jax	2024-10-28 "You bite a few people..."
Location <XAV> Courtyard - Residence Hall
The Residence Hall's common house borrows just enough of the mansion's architecture to complement it, though it has its own distinctive flavor as well. Walkways and bridges connect each dormitory wing to the common house at the center, with picturesque outdoor courtyards tucked alongside each wing, providing many of the dorms with a view of the plantlife and water features. No two courtyards are exactly the same, but all have plentiful seating along their winding footpaths, benches fixed in place as well as chairs and tables that rearrange themselves along the flagstones or in the shade according to the students' whims. This courtyard is narrow but deep, and bright-painted climbing structures, rope bridges, and hammock furniture stretching between the ledges and nooks inset on the buildings provide students with plenty of (perhaps unconventional) spots for recreation or relaxation. Emilia is using one such spot as a climbing ground, trying to unwind from the stress of the day. God, what a day. She thought aliens were bad, Freaktown and all that came from it was worse, but this... This was supposed to be home. And now it no longer felt like it. A place where she was supposed to be safe. Or, at least as safe as someone with a healing factor and metal claws (and skeleton) could be. Which was pretty damn safe, but it was also just... getting away from her past. (Begin test 13.) She shakes off the bit and piece of a memory from long ago, her own snarling behind the muzzle echoing in her mind, climbing higher. (I am the mountain, rising high) (It's the way that I'll survive...) (I'm the mountain, tell my tale) (The greatest story's now for sale...) As she finishes her climb, she gently feels the back of her neck, the spot where yet another scar sits, due to the construction of the muzzle. She took it with her, stupidly. Maybe one day she'd wear it again, but as a simple of liberation, and with some adjustments. Or maybe she'd melt it down and forget it. She hadn't decided. She's wearing a simple tank top today, as well as jeans, trying to diversify her wardrobe. The same boots still remain, though they're polished and cleaned up, showing that she does, in fact, take care of her items. There's the same leather bracelet she wore to Shane's memorial around her wrist, and a simple chain necklace, thick and short, around her neck. It's very likely she made both of these herself. Popping her claws in and out, she debates, for a while, the nature of who she is and the conversation she had with Bryce and Dallen at Shane's memorial service. What we choose in our life will guide where we go. What we choose. Well, she was a bit tired of choosing. Couldn't He choose for her? And yet... "The woods are lovely, dark and deep, but I have promises to keep." "And miles to go before I sleep..." "And miles to go before I sleep..." Tok is passing through, perhaps it’s quicker to get from one wing to another through this courtyard. They haven’t changed out of their clothes from before even as the day began to cool down, same oversized t-shirt, too long cargo shorts. Their sweatjacket is on though, unzipped, hood pulled up to their horns, hands shoved deep into the pockets and tail swaying in a low tired wave by their heels. Their ear flicks against the inside of their hood, at the sound of Emilia’s voice, and they look towards where she’d been climbing. They squint, then redirect that way. “Yo.” They say once they’re close enough, voice a little mellow. Their tail wraps around their waist as they slow to a stop. “Was your class all goo-?” Their question is cut short when they catch sight of her claws popping in and out, and their brow pinches into a harsh line, concerned. “You uh- you okay?” "Just thinking about purpose in the world is all, I guess. And today has been... a day to contemplate." She says, her tone tired, weary. She feels as though she's already been alive for a hundred years, even if it's only been a very reasonable 18 or so. She drops carefully from the climbing ground, only landing with a metallic thud as she drops onto her knee, not having space or time to roll out of it, which hurts, but heals any damage that may or may not have occurred, and it doesn't hurt anymore, though a slight sting remains for a bit. An impulsive decision to get down quicker, like a cat that just... goes for it. "I had to really resist some darker parts of myself today. It wasn't easy. But otherwise, yes. I'm physically, if not mentally, unharmed. Then again, I doubt there's much a human could... realistically do to me. At least, not without knowing how to." There's a dark tone to the end of that statement, and it hearkens back to her mentioning how she was in a lab for a time. "That lab I mentioned... It wasn't..." Her hands shake, she grips the other to stop it. Deal with it later, not now. Not in front of someone who doesn't deserve to have to confront it with her. Not without their consent, at least. "It wasn't a good place. Not at all, Tok. Those cops today just... brought back a lot I wanted to forget. But physically at least, everyone in my class was okay. And that's all I can ask for. I don't want anyone else to die. At least, not... soon." And yet they will, she wants to say. Everyone will. Except her, save for some fateful day she's struck down, hopefully defending someone else. That's all she can ask for in the end, a valiant death. A death with a reason. Not just 'humanity hates mutants' times a thousand. "What about yours? Was your class okay? Are you okay?" “…Glad you’re…okay. Physically.” Tok says, sounding a little unsure, and looking down at the knee she had landed on. They then study her face for a moment, still hunched inside their sweatshirt, then they wander over towards the structure she’d been climbing. They tilt their head to get a better look at the rest of it. “I mean- if you ask me I’d say you did the right thing. Most of your classmates probably ain’t bullet proof.” They bring a clawed hand up to idly scratch at the exoskeleton patch on the side of their neck, “We’re good. Got dicey fast. I couldn’t really do much honestly.” They swallow, and their face twitches to the side. “But we’re good.” "One thing I've learned, Tok... not everyone has to be a hero all the time. You did what you could, and that's all that matters. You kept yourself safe, maybe even some others too. Sometimes, we have to keep ourselves safe to help someone else. Granted, that's coming from the 'bulletproof' one. For the record, I'm not bulletproof, but I don't know if or when it would kill me. I'm not exactly eager to find out." She notes Tok's slight twitch, squinting a bit in not-quite-disbelief. "It's okay if you're not okay, Tok, but I won't push you if you don't want to talk about it." She also notes Tok's glance at her knee, which causes the slightest of smiles. "My knee is fine, Tok. Healing factor, remember? I'd say I barely felt it, but I'd be lying." "I'm also just... angry. How dare they come here, arrest one of our own, invade our home, well, some of our... homes, anyway... and just- all of it. I don't think Jax- Mr. Holland did whatever they accused him of, and-..." Her claws, again, embedding themselves nearly in brick before she stops herself, realizing the harm that may come of impulse. Emotionally or otherwise. "I'm sorry, I just... I have a lot of emotions about this. I hope I didn't..." Scare you, she wants to say. The claws retract, and she sits, idly. "How do you deal with stress, Tok? With... all of this? Because I can't figure it out, I've tried meditating, I've tried grounding, and none of it..." (Begin test 47. One more failure and the project is considered such.) (We won't have another failure.) Closes her eyes, tightly. Worse idea, so she keeps them open. "None of it helps the..." Everything. Tok’s tail twitches behind them. They reach up towards one of the hand holds in the climbing structure, and idly let themself swing a bit. They climb up a few feet, quickly, deftly, and then hook their tail about a rung so they can twist to look at Emilia. “So…you’re Schrödinger's bullet proof.” They offer, a twitch of a smile pulling at the corner of their mouth. “And I dunno- I’ll be okay. I think.” They glance once more at her knee, from their higher position. They stay quiet as she talks, watching her curiously. Their eyes widen though, eyebrows jumping up, when she nearly embeds her claws into the brick. They hang frozen for a pause, then cock their head to the side. “Oh. S’fine. I don’t scare off easy.” They guess at her unfinished sentence, then wince, “That’s a lie, I totally do. Hey d’you still go bitey mode sometimes?” They ask curiously, and click their teeth open and closed for emphasis. They swing back towards the structure, and climb back down. Once they’re back on the ground, they tilt their head back and forth at her question, considering. “How do I deal? Uh…” they blow out a breath in a way that puffs out their cheeks, “Depends on what it is.” They glance away, briefly, “Shit like today I usually gotta go somewhere quiet. Usually gotta get the energy out or else it all builds up, and no one wants that.” Their hesitant smile is back. "Schrödinger's bullet proof... Yeah, that about sums it up. They can go right through me, same as anyone, but I'll heal. Most won't." It's a fact she doesn't take any pleasure in. Hell, if only every mutant had a healing factor. Actually, that might... not be such a good idea. But the ones she vaguely cared about, Tok for example, deserved it, she thinks. Do you still go bitey mode sometimes? Ugh. Her face is displeased with that question, but more of in the 'oh, for fuck's sake' kind of way, not an unwillingness to answer the question. "You bite a few people..." "No, I don't, really. At least, not consciously." "If it were up to me I never would again, but... life." "I get that, Tok. Sorry it wasn't as quiet as you planned, probably. If I may... what's your power? Your, well, mutation. You know both of mine, but I don't really know yours, and I was curious. If you feel okay sharing that, you don't have to, I just... I want to get to know more people. Mainly so I'm not the campus shut-in, but also... it's nice to have friends, or at least people you can count on." "Not consciously." Tok echoes, ear flicking curiously. They smile a little, "I think that still counts as sometimes then." They don't seem too bothered by this, but they do cast a cursory glance down at her claws. Their ears flick downwards, nervously, at her question. They blow out a breath, and rub at the back of their neck, which turns into them trailing the hand down to pick at the exoskeleton patch on the side of their neck. "Oh. Yeah. I get that—the friends part." They shove their hands deeper into their pockets, so the sweatjacket stretches more and the hood squashes their hair down some more, "It's not turning into big bug monsters if that's what you've heard. I mean- I can but that's only like-" They hesitate, scanning her face once more before speaking up again, "I just- trade things." They gesture up towards her hair with a flick of their claws, "I can swap our hair. Or our arms. Or—whatever.” They lean back against the climbing structure, "Your healing too, I guess." Then, they hastily add, "But I wouldn't- I dunno what those labs did to you. Could be keeping you alive for all I know." "I appreciate the sentiment, but that's not all that's keeping me alive. Once I'm healed, I'm fine. Like the injury never truly happened. Besides, there's probably others who could steal a tiny bit of my power for a bit and all I'd need is a bit of recovery. Probably a few days, but- big bug monsters? I did hear about that. Truly insane sentence. I would not believe it if I didn't know just how crazy my own sounds." "I will say that if you took my claws for example, if you didn't also take my healing factor, it's... not going to be pleasant for you. But hair, fine. Don't know why you'd want it so short, yours seems warm, but..." Oh god, was that weird? Eh. Tok would tell her. "Well, the labs gave me these." She pops her claws out, then back in, the wounds from them healing nearly instantly. It's also a brief demonstration of her healing, as gross as it may seem. "Tried to... create a weapon or something, I don't know. I can't remember. They won't let me. Or... someone won't let me." "But anyway. I think having external claws could be useful. Seems useful. Get to climb stuff easier." She says, gesturing to his arms. "But any kind of swapping would only be done with your permission, I don't really see any reason to like, swap right now. Unless you're that curious." "How long does it last for?" “Forever.” Tok grins sharply, “NAH just kidding. About an hour. But I can stop it early—well, sometimes.” Despite their easy tone, they’re staring at Emilia from a slightly tilted head, curious, intense. Tempted. The expression is brief though, shifting quickly into something unsure. They glance away, and their tail twitches by their feet. They raise a hand to lift up some of their hair, then let it flop back down, “Sure is warm. Good for the cold months—my ears get cold easy.” Tok pushes off of the climbing structure and drifts a little closer towards Emilia, gaze focused on her hands where the claws had popped out, then healed over. Their brow pinches, concerned, and their mouth skews to the side. “The lab gave you those?” They seem like they’re about to say more, but stop to look up towards her face, searching, “….Do you like’em?” "Well, not technically. From what little I remember, it was a sort of bonding process. They weren't metal before, but they're nearly indestructible now, as well as my entire skeleton. It's a thing that without a healing factor would probably kill me, eventually." "Lots of... tubes and liquid hot metal. Real fun." She says, sarcastically. "They're useful. I don't know if I like them, but they have their advantages. Namely, as you know, no one wants to fuck with someone who's got claws. Less so mine, for some reason. Not sure why." "They were... let's say... useful during my escape from the lab. Other than that... I don't know, Tok. I really don't." She says, with a sigh. "I don't like much about who I am. Who I am isn't very nice. But I don't know any other reality. I've always been a mutant, always been me. Much like you, probably. Much like everyone else. I've done a lot of horrible things to a lot of bad people. People that maybe deserved it, some maybe didn't. That whole discussion we had with Bryce and Dallen... I've got a lot to make up for before I ever get a chance of any kind of paradise. So for now, I'm going to protect my fellow students and my fellow mutants. That includes you, even though I'm sure you can handle yourself." "We've all got to look out for each other. If we don't, who else will?" Tok chews on the inside of their cheek, and their tail shifts up into their own hands so they can run their claws through the fur. They take a long breath, then nod, “We sure do.” They’re quiet, for a long moment, only the sounds of an occasional rustle of leaves passing through. “I think you’re cool.” They decide, finally, “I know you say you did a lotta bad shit and all that but-” they shrug, and look up to meet her eyes briefly before looking back down, “You been real friendly from what I’ve seen. I think that counts for a whole lot.” They hesitate, “S’like you said—not a lotta people wanna fuck with someone with claws.” They wiggle their claw tipped fingers, then return to running them through their tail. They slowly back up again a few steps, tilting their head in consideration, “You ever decide you want a break from those-“ They jerk their chin towards her hands, her claws, “I’ll take’em off your hands for an hour. Gladly in fact.” They grin, and hinge forward slightly at the waist, like they’re sharing a secret, “I’m always that curious.” Emilia smiles a bit and shakes her head, chuckling lowly. But to live without her claws, for even... an hour? The thing she's had her whole life? The idea almost makes her want to break out into dramatic sobs. Luckily, she does not. To be able to even experience what, forgive her for thinking, a normal life is, even for a moment... A human life. Is a better descriptor, and the one she settles on. To know what it's like to not be disregarded, to not be an 'other.' To not be a mutant, she supposed, although she was the mutant and not mutant-supreme proud type. She had no real issue with it, but did at the same time. Life was complicated. She hated the oppression that came from it, but had no problem with being called a mutant. It was simply what she was. She was different, she was an other. But to get to spend even a second without that? An hour? Would it be okay to just... give them that? Would it kill them? Would she need to give them some of her healing factor too? Did she get to decide, or did they take one and the other? "Okay. If you're going to, you might want to take a bit of my healing factor too, if you can, you know, choose that. If not, it'll get... painful. Messy. I don't want you to wind up in the medical wingwardwhatever the hell because I decided to let you see what being me is like." But clearly, she takes some time to think about it, popping out both sets of claws (and the unseen feet claws as well, much smaller and more similar to his own, but still the same sharp metal). "To know what living without these is like in my adult life... well, just-barely-an-adult life... I think I'll take that chance, Tok. But I have to know that you'll be okay. Otherwise I can't in good conscience let you do that. I won't say I care about you too much, that sounds... really weird for someone I just officially introduced myself to the other day, but... I do care about you in a way. I want you to be as okay as you can be. As a fellow mutant." Tok’s eyebrows raise in surprise, and they slow their backing up to a stop. “Shit, you’re serious?” They’re stepping forward again, then shaking their head, “You really gonna let me snag it?” Once they’re close enough, they’re reaching for Emilia’s arm, impulsively, and bringing it up to inspect it if she lets them, despite it still being attached to her. “Finally someone with some sense around here. Yeah I’ll be so fine. Probably. Damn your arms’ heavy.” They drop it again, “I think I’d have to swap the whole arm. I dunno the uh-” they wiggle their fingers towards her arm, “Mechanics, going on in there.” They’re talking quicker, growing more excited from their state of lower energy. They look up, eagerly, “Sounds good?” Swapping an entire arm.... Might as well Ship of Theseus and swap out the whole body. "You're going to be incredibly unbalanced, but okay..." "My entire skeleton could easily weigh an extra... however many pounds more than my actual body weight, which is... 180? 190? Adamantium is also impossibly dense. That's the name of the metal that I'm coated with. It's going to be heavy. Normally, I'd say no. But... I trust you, Tok, and I'm trusting you now. I would eventually like my arm back. It is my arm after all. But yes. You have my permission to do whatever you need to do to make sure this works as safely as possible for you." "All I care about in this case is your safety. I'll be fine from whatever you do, but you might not heal like me." "It's hard for me to explain too. I can feel them, in my arm, but I can't really explain how it works or where they are exactly. But let me see if I can try. This might be... unpleasant." She extends them, slowly, away from Tok's face, luckily, with the arm he isn't holding. "It's... sort of like, okay... I still can't tell you where they sit, everything in my body is Adamantium, so I don't..." A vague gesture with clawed hand in the opposite direction of Tok. "Imagine it like a cat, or a bear. I might have specialized muscles in my arms that are part of my original bone claw mutation. Have to have a way for them to actually be retracted and extended, after all. That's the best way I can possibly figure it out. It's a vague explanation, and I don't even know if it's scientifically accurate. You don't really get to examine that without uh... something bad happening." "But i hope that helps your mutation to better interact with mine. It's the only answer I've maybe got. Your guess is as good as mine, as they say. But maybe that'll help??" She sounds unsure, for the first time in a while. Please let it be okay. “Damn that’s a lot of weight.” Tok frowns, listening to Emilia explain. They lean in close again to inspect the arm, where the claws seem to start and end. They nod, “Yeah, that helps. Maybe I just…” The vibrant blood vessels scattered across their body pulse with a white glow, their eyes flash, then flash again, once for each arm—but only the hands and forearms. Despite not grabbing the full arms, Tok’s shoulders still sag a little, weighed down by the sudden extra weight of the adamantium. They huff out a breath of surprise, “Holy shit!” they laugh. When they finally catch their balance again, they look up with wide eyes, “You been carrying these around this whole time?! No wonder you go bitey mode, if my arms weighed this much I’d snap at people too.” They say in bewilderment, seemingly unharmed. The ends of Tok’s arms are now seamlessly grafted to Emilia’s, perhaps impossibly light compared to what she’s used to, with claw tipped fingers. “Oh oh! Don’t scratch your face by the way. Probably poke an eye out.” "I didn't bite people because of the weight of my arms Tok, but I understand the sentiment. Now imagine that with an entire skeleton. Literally all of my body is that heavy. It sort of requires the healing factor as well for that reason, because imagine having to carry that around." She's just speculating, really. She glances down, only just now noting Tok's forearms and hands attached to her own very human-appearing biceps. She wants to laugh, and so she does. "Okay, this is proof that your arms do not suit me at all. Because it feels... strange. I'm so much, well, lighter." She imitates a few combat style motions, playfully shadowboxing with nobody in particular after trying to make sure she can still move her arms at this rate. And she can, luckily. "I don't know what to say, Tok, but I suppose a good start is thank you. For once in my life, or rather for once in a long time, I get to know what it would be like if I didn't have to lug around a hundred pound skeleton. Thank you for reminding me of what that's like again." "But how do you feel? Is it too much for you? I can always take them back early, no problem." Tok listens with wide, curious eyes, and they nod eagerly. “Well I’ll leave that healing with you then.” They carefully wiggle their fingers, and a grin spreads across their face, “YeesH. I can feel them under there.” Despite their words possibly suggesting otherwise, they appear overjoyed. They bring their fingers up, so human now, to run across one of their forearms, gently to not accidentally trigger the claws from coming out. “So cool. Next time I wanna snag that healing factor though so I can be all-” They slowly go through some punching motions “Shink! Shink Shink!” They watch her shadowbox, eyebrows jumping upwards impressed, and then the expression shifts into surprise at her thanks, “oh- yeah yeah! It’s no problem, seriously. If you like that I got way more tricks up my sleeve we can try at some point.” They bounce on their heels, arms bouncing too as if they’re getting used to the weight. “I feel great though. You’re gonna have to pry these away from my- heh- your cold dead hands.” "You never really get used to feeling them under there." She addresses, in response to them being able to feel the claws under her arm. She laughs a bit at their last statement, shaking her head. "Yeah, well, I want to give you your arms back at some point, I can't keep them from you forever. Plus with the trouble I often find myself in, I don't want to risk something happening to them." "My hands are warm, thank you." Although she has no idea how her hands actually feel to Tok. It's a curiosity she leaves unaddressed. "How does it feel? Like, for you? You're so used to these..." She gestures, holding up their hands. "...that I imagine it's weird to have randomly non-furry arms." Tok waves their hand with a psh, “You’ll get’em back don’t worry. I can’t keep them forever anyways. Just don’t get into any trouble in the next hour or so and you’ll be fine.” They flip their hands back and forth in front of their face, then look over to Emilia’s with a small squint, “…Warm huh?” They look back to their hands, “Feels…” they run their thumb over each blunt nail. Flexes them, closes them into a fist. Their tail waving has picked up speed in an excitement, “Bulkier.” They decide on. “I’m real used to things feeling weird though.” They look at Emilia, scan her up and down, then jerk their head towards the dorms, “I’m gonna go make sure I don’t stab through my knuckles. You enjoy your clawless-ness-” They stop, “Or well, different claws.” "Sure." She says, as if it were that easy to not have trouble around this place. Then again, most who saw her would know this was Tok level shenanigans. She would just have to make sure to clarify it was willing. Many probably assumed Tok just did whatever they wanted. But she'd have to dispel that, just for this one case. "Sounds good, Tok. Be very careful. I don't want to have to save you. Enjoy your bulkier arms." She teases, smiling a bit as she examines Tok's arms on her own. It's something she has to fight not to get used to. "At least we didn't swap bodies too. You'd have to worry about hitting your head on doorframes." “I will!” Tok is about to leave, but her final words are stopping them in their tracks. They turn again, eyes jumping to her face in surprise, and tail stilling mid-movement. They scan her carefully. Their brow scrunches down, “…Did someone-?” They begin to ask bewildered, then stop short, mulling something over. “Heh. Can you imagine? I’d be able to reach so many top shelves.” They grin, and give some finger guns with non-clawed hands, “I’ll see you later Emilia.” With one last flick of their tail they head off down the path, a bit more of a hop in their step than before.