ArchivedLogs:Communication, or Lack Thereof

Communication, or Lack Thereof
Dramatis Personae Peter, Shane, Shelby
In Absentia	2013-04-03 '
Location Phones, Gchat
*(Shelby --> Shane): hey dumass ware r u???? *(Shane --> Shelby): Brooklyn. *(Shelby --> Shane): ware in brooklyn? cmon tell me *(Shane --> Shelby): (This text takes a long time in coming.) Our house in Brooklyn, where the fuck do you think I am. *(Shelby --> Shane): ur house huh? wtf shane tats not ur home. y did u guyz leeve? *(Shane --> Shelby): Bastian got suspended, he's not even allowed there. *(Shelby --> Shane): so ur cmin bak aftr rite? how cum ur not w/ jax? jim sed u shuld hav been bak b4 this cuz of teh osborn shit *(Shane --> Shelby): What does Jim know. Fucking creeper. *(Shane --> Shelby): We're not going back to Jax's. *(Shelby --> Shane): shut up dude got my arm fixed. y not??? *(Shane --> Shelby): Dude got HIS arm BROKE. Hive got BOTH your arms fixed. *(Shelby --> Shane): ...i sed shut up n u didnt anser teh ???? *(Shane --> Shelby): You're very perceptive. *(Shane --> Shelby): Are you fucking Jim? *(Shelby --> Shane): stubrn 2 im gona keep askin til u tel me *(Shelby --> Shane): ugh no! *(Shane --> Shelby): You were all talking about dating him last night, the fuck am I supposed to think. *(Shane --> Shelby): I tuned that shit the hell out after, I don't want Jim's moobs in my brain. All rubbing up against you. *(Shelby --> Shane): r u srs?? liek 4 reel? jim took me 2 a movie so iw wuldnt sit arond bein sad bout u n B bein gone :| *(Shelby --> Shane): u dint evn say gbye! *(Shane --> Shelby): We went to Brooklyn, dude, not freaking Russia. *(Shelby --> Shane): yeah brooklyn xcept u wont tell NE1 where *(Shane --> Shelby): Nope. But we can hang out if you want. Not at the house. *(Shelby --> Shane): ... *(Shelby --> Shane): deja vu this tiem im gona find eric 4 reel tho *(Shane --> Shelby): Eric's pretty good for forgetting to sit around being sad, too. *(Peter --> Shane): Peter would page. Shane's phone. Email. BZZT. BZZZT. From 'pparker@xavier.edu': 'shane *(Peter --> Shane): shaaaaaaane *(Peter --> Shane): shane shane shane shane *(Shane --> Peter): Jesus fucking Frith dude who gave you caffeine. *(Peter --> Shane): who is frith *(Peter --> Shane): nvm not important shane gimme your address *(Peter --> Shane): gimme gimme *(Shane --> Peter): Read a gorram book some time. *(Shane --> Peter): The fuck do you want with my address. *(Peter --> Shane): um i want to like *(Peter --> Shane): tell you and b that everythings cool nobodys mad and find out if you are madz *(Peter --> Shane): are you madz *(Shane --> Peter): I think that's a crock of bullshit, I mean, Bastian got suspended. The Professor is mad. *(Peter --> Shane): man the prof is hella chill dudes a zen master *(Peter --> Shane): besides who cares about the prof he can read minds pshh big deal i mean none of us are madz *(Shane --> Peter): I think that's a crock of bullshit, too. Ivan wouldn't even stay in the fucking room when we came back. And then returned JUST TO STING US WITH BEES. *(Shane --> Peter): I mean, seriously, what the shit. *(Shane --> Peter): Motherfucker should've been suspended too. *(Peter --> Shane): no dude listen *(Peter --> Shane): listen listen *(Peter --> Shane): dang it this convo should be happening in meatspace brb hoppin on another bus *(Shane --> Peter): ON another bus? *(Peter --> Shane): Peter replies, a minute later: omg already had this convo with your dad yes sometimes i ride buses deal *(Peter --> Shane): back on topic *(Shane --> Peter): See, that's the other reason I left, man, everyone at that school is a fucking moron with a deathwish. *(Peter --> Shane): ok *(Peter --> Shane): ok shane im putting on my serious face *(Peter --> Shane): this face is so serious you have no idea *(Peter --> Shane): i have just jumped off the bus and onto like a ledge *(Peter --> Shane): and i am doing nothing but talking to you now *(Shane --> Peter): Hold on, let me get my give-a-shit face so we can kind of match. *(Shane --> Peter): FUCK, must have left it back at Jax's place. *(Shane --> Peter): Haha, sorry, okay man, I'm just playing with you. *(Shane --> Peter): I don't even HAVE a give-a-shit face. *(Peter --> Shane): ugh you know i would totally be having this convo with b instead of you *(Peter --> Shane): if i could understand a word that he typed *(Shane --> Peter): Yeah, you kinda need to run it through a translator. I bet Shelby could tell you her writing is just as appalling. *(Peter --> Shane): yeah i okay no back on topic peter shane ivan did not mean to do that thing ivan is look sometimes when he controls the bees they kinda eat his brains *(Shane --> Peter): Ivan is sometimes a fucking moron with a deathwish, you mean? *(Peter --> Shane): he is basically in the basement crying over what he did to you and its like *(Peter --> Shane): dude were all morons with deathwishes *(Peter --> Shane): you all went into a sewer with bloodmonsters to save me *(Peter --> Shane): morons with deathwishes thats like our team motto *(Peter --> Shane): we should write it in latin and put it under the xavier insignia *(Shane --> Peter): For a team motto I'd need to be on a team. *(Peter --> Shane): Peter gives a long pause -- almost a full minute! -- before responding: shane whats wrong *(Peter --> Shane): i mean besides the obvious stuff *(Shane --> Peter): What are you talking about? *(Peter --> Shane): like *(Peter --> Shane): youre saying youre not part of this team *(Peter --> Shane): why not we need you you have teeth youre our b a *(Shane --> Peter): Your what. *(Peter --> Shane): ba you know mr t the big dude whos job is to punch fools *(Peter --> Shane): i had this all figured out a while ago shelby is hannibal *(Shane --> Peter): Peter I have no idea what the fuck you're talking about. *(Peter --> Shane): well ok but thats not important i guess i mean one problem at a time *(Peter --> Shane): not that not knowing about one really crappy tv show thats like 800 years old is really much of a problem *(Peter --> Shane): but like what is this here *(Peter --> Shane): are you quitting the band *(Shane --> Peter): We don't have a band. Do you even play an instrument? *(Peter --> Shane): the clarinet i guess but *(Peter --> Shane): i thought we were like i dunno *(Peter --> Shane): a team *(Shane --> Peter): You guys are a team. *(Shane --> Peter): B's the only person who's ever been on my team. *(Peter --> Shane): what about jax isnt he on your team i mean *(Peter --> Shane): he seems to think hes on your team *(Shane --> Peter): No. *(Shane --> Peter): He's got his own team. They're good for him. *(Peter --> Shane): wait are you coming back to xaviers *(Peter --> Shane): you are coming back right *(Shane --> Peter): No. *(Peter --> Shane): omg *(Peter --> Shane): so thats it then *(Peter --> Shane): well erect a plaque on your dorm door *(Peter --> Shane): itll say *(Peter --> Shane): 'once we had awesome sharktwins here but then they got stung by a bee *(Peter --> Shane): 'and had to leave *(Shane --> Peter): Pretty much, yeah. Bees > Sharks. *(Peter --> Shane): tell me this isnt because ivan got his brains eaten by bees *(Peter --> Shane): i dont want to tell ivan youre leaving because he lost control *(Peter --> Shane): that would be pretty much the worst thing to tell him *(Shane --> Peter): So don't tell him. *(Peter --> Shane): its gonna be what he thinks i mean *(Peter --> Shane): youre here everythings awesome then bees then youre gone forever *(Peter --> Shane): is that seriously why dude he is crying in the medlab over this he is as sorry as sorry can be he never wants to look at a bee again *(Shane --> Peter): Um, things seemed to stop being awesome pretty much exactly when we showed up. *(Peter --> Shane): is that why youre leaving *(Peter --> Shane): because you think you give off an aura of non awesome *(Shane --> Peter): B got suspended, dude, he's not even ALLOWED at school. *(Peter --> Shane): psh for a week dude bit me and thats all he gets thats practically a love letter *(Peter --> Shane): xavier must like have some sort of bizarre shark fetish or something *(Peter --> Shane): can we talk in meatspace at some point this is weird *(Shane --> Peter): No. Ivan attacked me first anyway and he's still AT school. *(Shane --> Peter): Guess it'd be hard to ship him back to Russia for a week though. *(Peter --> Shane): he just lost control of the bees *(Peter --> Shane): b was *(Peter --> Shane): if jax wasnt there i dont know he looked like he was trying to kill him *(Shane --> Peter): Bastian wouldn't kill Ivan over some bee stings. He gets protective when people are hurting me. *(Peter --> Shane): ok *(Peter --> Shane): and i dunno im kinda upset but *(Peter --> Shane): i can understand that *(Peter --> Shane): can you just *(Peter --> Shane): i dont know i dont want you to go and i still want to talk to you guys but could you just for now like tell ivan he isnt the reason youre going *(Shane --> Peter): So you want me to lie? *(Shane --> Peter): I mean, okay, he's not THE reason but he's on the list. *(Shane --> Peter): It's admittedly a long list. *(Peter --> Shane): yes no i dont know *(Peter --> Shane): youre making me kind of want to punch you right now *(Peter --> Shane): and i dont even know why *(Peter --> Shane): i mean i wouldnt punch you ever *(Peter --> Shane): and not just cuz you are full of teeth *(Peter --> Shane): maybe i shouldnt have even told you that *(Shane --> Peter): No, it's good. You're in good company. *(Shane --> Peter): OK, maybe you're actually in shitty company but you're in a LOT of company. *(Shane --> Peter): I mean you are FAR from the first person to want to punch me. *(Shane --> Peter): It's probably not surprising but I get punched pretty much a few times weekly. *(Peter --> Shane): goddammit *(Peter --> Shane): that is not cool *(Peter --> Shane): this is not cool *(Peter --> Shane): nothing going on here is cool *(Shane --> Peter): No s'cool everything's cool. *(Shane --> Peter): You want to spit at me too because lots of people want that. It happens pretty much daily. *(Peter --> Shane): no its not i dont want to spit at you *(Shane --> Peter): Just checking. *(Shane --> Peter): See, but. *(Shane --> Peter): Why would I want to go to school where people want to punch me? *(Shane --> Peter): I can get that just by walking out of the fucking house, you know? *(Shane --> Peter): I mean, shit, where I am now I can get that just by walking INTO the fucking house. *(Peter --> Shane): goddammit no *(Peter --> Shane): i want to punch you then i want to punch everyone punching you *(Peter --> Shane): then maybe punch myself *(Shane --> Peter): That sounds really tiring. I have a different idea. Instead. *(Shane --> Peter): Don't punch fucking anyone. *(Peter --> Shane): that is a pretty good plan *(Peter --> Shane): i am all aboard the no-punching plan its just *(Peter --> Shane): i want to be your friend do you want to be my friend y/n *(Shane --> Peter): What the fuck where did that come from *(Peter --> Shane): idk your like saying youre not part of our team right *(Peter --> Shane): so ok *(Peter --> Shane): ill join your team *(Shane --> Peter): You've already got a team. *(Peter --> Shane): i can be on multiple teams i mean we arent playing against each other *(Peter --> Shane): are we *(Shane --> Peter): No. I'm not playing anything at all. I make a shitty teammate. *(Peter --> Shane): thats okay i mean so far my skillz seem to be 'get kidnapped by monsters' and 'get saved by monsters *(Peter --> Shane): dont tell jillian i called her a monster tho i dont think she cares *(Peter --> Shane): but *(Peter --> Shane): it sounds like youre burning all your bridges or something and going off on your own and ok fine whatevs *(Shane --> Peter): I've got Bastian. I'm never on my own. *(Peter --> Shane): yeah but i mean thats just you and him and thats it *(Peter --> Shane): and i just want to like *(Peter --> Shane): be on your side i guess *(Peter --> Shane): as long as your side isnt the punch-people side i mean *(Peter --> Shane): shelby could join your side too i bet shed wanna *(Shane --> Peter): Have you met me, dude, my side is definitely the punch everyone side. *(Peter --> Shane): dammit i thought the plan involved no punching i thought we were all aboard that plan *(Peter --> Shane): choo choo here comes the no punching train all of us onboard *(Shane --> Peter): No, I thought that should be YOUR train, I'm on a whole different track here. *(Peter --> Shane): man i dunno maybe *(Peter --> Shane): if i had blue skin and claws id be all aboard the punchtrain too i dunno *(Shane --> Peter): Try it some time. I guarantee you will want to punch basically every motherfucker you meet right in the mouth within a week. *(Peter --> Shane): maybe i mean i kinda already do sometimes and im not even blue i just dont tell anybody about it *(Shane --> Peter): The way the world is right now I'd be surprised if any of us DIDN'T pretty much want to punch motherfuckers routinely. *(Peter --> Shane): but i just want you to know that rasa and me and shelby and ivan too if thats okay *(Peter --> Shane): like i am pretty sure we are all ready to join team sharktwins if you need us to *(Shane --> Peter): I don't need shit. *(Peter --> Shane): yes you do *(Peter --> Shane): if you think you can handle all of this with just you and your bro then man you got the biggest deathwish of all of us *(Shane --> Peter): Handle all of what? Is there MORE fucking crisis happening? *(Peter --> Shane): dude we are on a 24 hour crisis cycle there is always gonna be another crisis we are eating a crisis pie and we aint even hit the crisis filling yet *(Peter --> Shane): were all just nibbling on the crisis crust *(Peter --> Shane): you need peepz *(Shane --> Peter): Nah. I'm checked out of the crisiszone. You guys can crisis in your own world over there. *(Peter --> Shane): you cant check out of the crisiszone the crisiszone will find you dude come on the crisiszone has murderdrones that hunt you down come on *(Peter --> Shane): all im asking here is *(Peter --> Shane): if shit gets real call your peepz *(Peter --> Shane): please *(Shane --> Peter): I don't have 'peepz'. *(Peter --> Shane): i have officially declared myself rasa shelby and ivan as your peepz *(Peter --> Shane): you dont get a say in this because were making a plaque and everything *(Peter --> Shane): big bronze letters: 'shane + bastians peeps' with all our names cant argue with engraved bronze *(Shane --> Peter): Dude, just back off. I get that you're all woo woo kumabaya fucking mutant school solidarity or whatever bullshit but seriously. *(Shane --> Peter): Basically the world is just fucking shitty, okay, and pretending like we're some kind of superhero team isn't going to change that. *(Peter --> Shane): ok fine *(Peter --> Shane): just like if b gets in trouble and you cant bite him free or vice versa just like *(Peter --> Shane): we wont give you any kumbaya or make you hug or tell you to come back *(Peter --> Shane): well just help and vanish like ninjas *(Peter --> Shane): and thats it thats all i got *(Peter --> Shane): im sorry goodluck *(Shane --> Peter): Thanks.