ArchivedLogs:Communication, or Lack Thereof

Communication, or Lack Thereof
Dramatis Personae Peter, Shane, Shelby
In Absentia	2013-04-03 '
Location Phones, Gchat
(Shelby --> Shane): hey dumass ware r u???? (Shane --> Shelby): Brooklyn. (Shelby --> Shane): ware in brooklyn? cmon tell me (Shane --> Shelby): (This text takes a long time in coming.) Our house in Brooklyn, where the fuck do you think I am. (Shelby --> Shane): ur house huh? wtf shane tats not ur home. y did u guyz leeve? (Shane --> Shelby): Bastian got suspended, he's not even allowed there. (Shelby --> Shane): so ur cmin bak aftr rite? how cum ur not w/ jax? jim sed u shuld hav been bak b4 this cuz of teh osborn shit (Shane --> Shelby): What does Jim know. Fucking creeper. (Shane --> Shelby): We're not going back to Jax's. (Shelby --> Shane): shut up dude got my arm fixed. y not??? (Shane --> Shelby): Dude got HIS arm BROKE. Hive got BOTH your arms fixed. (Shelby --> Shane): ...i sed shut up n u didnt anser teh ???? (Shane --> Shelby): You're very perceptive. (Shane --> Shelby): Are you fucking Jim? (Shelby --> Shane): stubrn 2 im gona keep askin til u tel me (Shelby --> Shane): ugh no! (Shane --> Shelby): You were all talking about dating him last night, the fuck am I supposed to think. (Shane --> Shelby): I tuned that shit the hell out after, I don't want Jim's moobs in my brain. All rubbing up against you. (Shelby --> Shane): r u srs?? liek 4 reel? jim took me 2 a movie so iw wuldnt sit arond bein sad bout u n B bein gone :| (Shelby --> Shane): u dint evn say gbye! (Shane --> Shelby): We went to Brooklyn, dude, not freaking Russia. (Shelby --> Shane): yeah brooklyn xcept u wont tell NE1 where (Shane --> Shelby): Nope. But we can hang out if you want. Not at the house. (Shelby --> Shane): ... (Shelby --> Shane): deja vu this tiem im gona find eric 4 reel tho (Shane --> Shelby): Eric's pretty good for forgetting to sit around being sad, too. (Peter --> Shane): Peter would page. Shane's phone. Email. BZZT. BZZZT. From 'pparker@xavier.edu': 'shane (Peter --> Shane): shaaaaaaane (Peter --> Shane): shane shane shane shane (Shane --> Peter): Jesus fucking Frith dude who gave you caffeine. (Peter --> Shane): who is frith (Peter --> Shane): nvm not important shane gimme your address (Peter --> Shane): gimme gimme (Shane --> Peter): Read a gorram book some time. (Shane --> Peter): The fuck do you want with my address. (Peter --> Shane): um i want to like (Peter --> Shane): tell you and b that everythings cool nobodys mad and find out if you are madz (Peter --> Shane): are you madz (Shane --> Peter): I think that's a crock of bullshit, I mean, Bastian got suspended. The Professor is mad. (Peter --> Shane): man the prof is hella chill dudes a zen master (Peter --> Shane): besides who cares about the prof he can read minds pshh big deal i mean none of us are madz (Shane --> Peter): I think that's a crock of bullshit, too. Ivan wouldn't even stay in the fucking room when we came back. And then returned JUST TO STING US WITH BEES. (Shane --> Peter): I mean, seriously, what the shit. (Shane --> Peter): Motherfucker should've been suspended too. (Peter --> Shane): no dude listen (Peter --> Shane): listen listen (Peter --> Shane): dang it this convo should be happening in meatspace brb hoppin on another bus (Shane --> Peter): ON another bus? (Peter --> Shane): Peter replies, a minute later: omg already had this convo with your dad yes sometimes i ride buses deal (Peter --> Shane): back on topic (Shane --> Peter): See, that's the other reason I left, man, everyone at that school is a fucking moron with a deathwish. (Peter --> Shane): ok (Peter --> Shane): ok shane im putting on my serious face (Peter --> Shane): this face is so serious you have no idea (Peter --> Shane): i have just jumped off the bus and onto like a ledge (Peter --> Shane): and i am doing nothing but talking to you now (Shane --> Peter): Hold on, let me get my give-a-shit face so we can kind of match. (Shane --> Peter): FUCK, must have left it back at Jax's place. (Shane --> Peter): Haha, sorry, okay man, I'm just playing with you. (Shane --> Peter): I don't even HAVE a give-a-shit face. (Peter --> Shane): ugh you know i would totally be having this convo with b instead of you (Peter --> Shane): if i could understand a word that he typed (Shane --> Peter): Yeah, you kinda need to run it through a translator. I bet Shelby could tell you her writing is just as appalling. (Peter --> Shane): yeah i okay no back on topic peter shane ivan did not mean to do that thing ivan is look sometimes when he controls the bees they kinda eat his brains (Shane --> Peter): Ivan is sometimes a fucking moron with a deathwish, you mean? (Peter --> Shane): he is basically in the basement crying over what he did to you and its like (Peter --> Shane): dude were all morons with deathwishes (Peter --> Shane): you all went into a sewer with bloodmonsters to save me (Peter --> Shane): morons with deathwishes thats like our team motto (Peter --> Shane): we should write it in latin and put it under the xavier insignia (Shane --> Peter): For a team motto I'd need to be on a team. (Peter --> Shane): Peter gives a long pause -- almost a full minute! -- before responding: shane whats wrong (Peter --> Shane): i mean besides the obvious stuff (Shane --> Peter): What are you talking about? (Peter --> Shane): like (Peter --> Shane): youre saying youre not part of this team (Peter --> Shane): why not we need you you have teeth youre our b a (Shane --> Peter): Your what. (Peter --> Shane): ba you know mr t the big dude whos job is to punch fools (Peter --> Shane): i had this all figured out a while ago shelby is hannibal (Shane --> Peter): Peter I have no idea what the fuck you're talking about. (Peter --> Shane): well ok but thats not important i guess i mean one problem at a time (Peter --> Shane): not that not knowing about one really crappy tv show thats like 800 years old is really much of a problem (Peter --> Shane): but like what is this here (Peter --> Shane): are you quitting the band (Shane --> Peter): We don't have a band. Do you even play an instrument? (Peter --> Shane): the clarinet i guess but (Peter --> Shane): i thought we were like i dunno (Peter --> Shane): a team (Shane --> Peter): You guys are a team. (Shane --> Peter): B's the only person who's ever been on my team. (Peter --> Shane): what about jax isnt he on your team i mean (Peter --> Shane): he seems to think hes on your team (Shane --> Peter): No. (Shane --> Peter): He's got his own team. They're good for him. (Peter --> Shane): wait are you coming back to xaviers (Peter --> Shane): you are coming back right (Shane --> Peter): No. (Peter --> Shane): omg (Peter --> Shane): so thats it then (Peter --> Shane): well erect a plaque on your dorm door (Peter --> Shane): itll say (Peter --> Shane): 'once we had awesome sharktwins here but then they got stung by a bee (Peter --> Shane): 'and had to leave (Shane --> Peter): Pretty much, yeah. Bees > Sharks. (Peter --> Shane): tell me this isnt because ivan got his brains eaten by bees (Peter --> Shane): i dont want to tell ivan youre leaving because he lost control (Peter --> Shane): that would be pretty much the worst thing to tell him (Shane --> Peter): So don't tell him. (Peter --> Shane): its gonna be what he thinks i mean (Peter --> Shane): youre here everythings awesome then bees then youre gone forever (Peter --> Shane): is that seriously why dude he is crying in the medlab over this he is as sorry as sorry can be he never wants to look at a bee again (Shane --> Peter): Um, things seemed to stop being awesome pretty much exactly when we showed up. (Peter --> Shane): is that why youre leaving (Peter --> Shane): because you think you give off an aura of non awesome (Shane --> Peter): B got suspended, dude, he's not even ALLOWED at school. (Peter --> Shane): psh for a week dude bit me and thats all he gets thats practically a love letter (Peter --> Shane): xavier must like have some sort of bizarre shark fetish or something (Peter --> Shane): can we talk in meatspace at some point this is weird (Shane --> Peter): No. Ivan attacked me first anyway and he's still AT school. (Shane --> Peter): Guess it'd be hard to ship him back to Russia for a week though. (Peter --> Shane): he just lost control of the bees (Peter --> Shane): b was (Peter --> Shane): if jax wasnt there i dont know he looked like he was trying to kill him (Shane --> Peter): Bastian wouldn't kill Ivan over some bee stings. He gets protective when people are hurting me. (Peter --> Shane): ok (Peter --> Shane): and i dunno im kinda upset but (Peter --> Shane): i can understand that (Peter --> Shane): can you just (Peter --> Shane): i dont know i dont want you to go and i still want to talk to you guys but could you just for now like tell ivan he isnt the reason youre going (Shane --> Peter): So you want me to lie? (Shane --> Peter): I mean, okay, he's not THE reason but he's on the list. (Shane --> Peter): It's admittedly a long list. (Peter --> Shane): yes no i dont know (Peter --> Shane): youre making me kind of want to punch you right now (Peter --> Shane): and i dont even know why (Peter --> Shane): i mean i wouldnt punch you ever (Peter --> Shane): and not just cuz you are full of teeth (Peter --> Shane): maybe i shouldnt have even told you that (Shane --> Peter): No, it's good. You're in good company. (Shane --> Peter): OK, maybe you're actually in shitty company but you're in a LOT of company. (Shane --> Peter): I mean you are FAR from the first person to want to punch me. (Shane --> Peter): It's probably not surprising but I get punched pretty much a few times weekly. (Peter --> Shane): goddammit (Peter --> Shane): that is not cool (Peter --> Shane): this is not cool (Peter --> Shane): nothing going on here is cool (Shane --> Peter): No s'cool everything's cool. (Shane --> Peter): You want to spit at me too because lots of people want that. It happens pretty much daily. (Peter --> Shane): no its not i dont want to spit at you (Shane --> Peter): Just checking. (Shane --> Peter): See, but. (Shane --> Peter): Why would I want to go to school where people want to punch me? (Shane --> Peter): I can get that just by walking out of the fucking house, you know? (Shane --> Peter): I mean, shit, where I am now I can get that just by walking INTO the fucking house. (Peter --> Shane): goddammit no (Peter --> Shane): i want to punch you then i want to punch everyone punching you (Peter --> Shane): then maybe punch myself (Shane --> Peter): That sounds really tiring. I have a different idea. Instead. (Shane --> Peter): Don't punch fucking anyone. (Peter --> Shane): that is a pretty good plan (Peter --> Shane): i am all aboard the no-punching plan its just (Peter --> Shane): i want to be your friend do you want to be my friend y/n (Shane --> Peter): What the fuck where did that come from (Peter --> Shane): idk your like saying youre not part of our team right (Peter --> Shane): so ok (Peter --> Shane): ill join your team (Shane --> Peter): You've already got a team. (Peter --> Shane): i can be on multiple teams i mean we arent playing against each other (Peter --> Shane): are we (Shane --> Peter): No. I'm not playing anything at all. I make a shitty teammate. (Peter --> Shane): thats okay i mean so far my skillz seem to be 'get kidnapped by monsters' and 'get saved by monsters (Peter --> Shane): dont tell jillian i called her a monster tho i dont think she cares (Peter --> Shane): but (Peter --> Shane): it sounds like youre burning all your bridges or something and going off on your own and ok fine whatevs (Shane --> Peter): I've got Bastian. I'm never on my own. (Peter --> Shane): yeah but i mean thats just you and him and thats it (Peter --> Shane): and i just want to like (Peter --> Shane): be on your side i guess (Peter --> Shane): as long as your side isnt the punch-people side i mean (Peter --> Shane): shelby could join your side too i bet shed wanna (Shane --> Peter): Have you met me, dude, my side is definitely the punch everyone side. (Peter --> Shane): dammit i thought the plan involved no punching i thought we were all aboard that plan (Peter --> Shane): choo choo here comes the no punching train all of us onboard (Shane --> Peter): No, I thought that should be YOUR train, I'm on a whole different track here. (Peter --> Shane): man i dunno maybe (Peter --> Shane): if i had blue skin and claws id be all aboard the punchtrain too i dunno (Shane --> Peter): Try it some time. I guarantee you will want to punch basically every motherfucker you meet right in the mouth within a week. (Peter --> Shane): maybe i mean i kinda already do sometimes and im not even blue i just dont tell anybody about it (Shane --> Peter): The way the world is right now I'd be surprised if any of us DIDN'T pretty much want to punch motherfuckers routinely. (Peter --> Shane): but i just want you to know that rasa and me and shelby and ivan too if thats okay (Peter --> Shane): like i am pretty sure we are all ready to join team sharktwins if you need us to (Shane --> Peter): I don't need shit. (Peter --> Shane): yes you do (Peter --> Shane): if you think you can handle all of this with just you and your bro then man you got the biggest deathwish of all of us (Shane --> Peter): Handle all of what? Is there MORE fucking crisis happening? (Peter --> Shane): dude we are on a 24 hour crisis cycle there is always gonna be another crisis we are eating a crisis pie and we aint even hit the crisis filling yet (Peter --> Shane): were all just nibbling on the crisis crust (Peter --> Shane): you need peepz (Shane --> Peter): Nah. I'm checked out of the crisiszone. You guys can crisis in your own world over there. (Peter --> Shane): you cant check out of the crisiszone the crisiszone will find you dude come on the crisiszone has murderdrones that hunt you down come on (Peter --> Shane): all im asking here is (Peter --> Shane): if shit gets real call your peepz (Peter --> Shane): please (Shane --> Peter): I don't have 'peepz'. (Peter --> Shane): i have officially declared myself rasa shelby and ivan as your peepz (Peter --> Shane): you dont get a say in this because were making a plaque and everything (Peter --> Shane): big bronze letters: 'shane + bastians peeps' with all our names cant argue with engraved bronze (Shane --> Peter): Dude, just back off. I get that you're all woo woo kumabaya fucking mutant school solidarity or whatever bullshit but seriously. (Shane --> Peter): Basically the world is just fucking shitty, okay, and pretending like we're some kind of superhero team isn't going to change that. (Peter --> Shane): ok fine (Peter --> Shane): just like if b gets in trouble and you cant bite him free or vice versa just like (Peter --> Shane): we wont give you any kumbaya or make you hug or tell you to come back (Peter --> Shane): well just help and vanish like ninjas (Peter --> Shane): and thats it thats all i got (Peter --> Shane): im sorry goodluck (Shane --> Peter): Thanks.