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Mora Texts
Dramatis Personae

Peter, Shane

In Absentia


2013-04-26


warning: kind of hoki. (inspired by petertexts here.)

Location

peterphone and shanephone


  • (Shane --> Peter): A TEXT MESSAGE arrives for Peter, some time during sixth period on Friday: Holy shit what in the flying fuck, dude, that was a carp ton of fish puns.
  • (Peter --> Shane): Peter replies with surprising speed!: omg youre alive i thought you were sleeping with the fishes
  • (Peter --> Shane): wait you probably were
  • (Shane --> Peter): I usually do. Outside of winter Bastian and I generally sleep in the lake, not the dorms.
  • (Peter --> Shane): does jax know youre back i mean
  • (Peter --> Shane): hes been eeling pretty bad you know
  • (Peter --> Shane): you two are a couple of dopefish
  • (Peter --> Shane): or should i say... doofish
  • (Shane --> Peter): It's dhufish, dude, you're stretching now. Stop trying to make these tenuis connections, I know you can do betta than that.
  • (Shane --> Peter): But yeah we're back at Jax's plaice.
  • (Peter --> Shane): yeah shane look i gotta shoot straight with you here
  • (Peter --> Shane): i know im outing myself as a no good bottom-feeding prawnster
  • (Peter --> Shane): but
  • (Peter --> Shane): all those supersweet fish puns
  • (Peter --> Shane): i stole them from the internet
  • (Peter --> Shane): every last one
  • (Peter --> Shane): also good he was so worried jesus dude
  • (Peter --> Shane): if youre gonna ditch us fine ill deal but dont ditch jax dude
  • (Peter --> Shane): you guys could have seriously... krill'd him o:
  • (Peter --> Shane): oh dude i just thought of that on my own hell yes punmaster is back
  • (Shane --> Peter): Wait reelly? I am so disappointed right now. Here I thought you were brill-iant but actually YOU were the dhufish all along.
  • (Shane --> Peter): OK, you have slightly redeemed yourself from your previous saury state.
  • (Shane --> Peter): I will let your previous transgressions skate by.
  • (Shane --> Peter): Seriously though he'd have gotten over it.
  • (Shane --> Peter): I know he's all shiny glittery carebear and all but actually he's kind of a badass motherfucker.
  • (Peter --> Shane): holy carp how do you do that
  • (Peter --> Shane): the fishpuns i mean is that your other mutation
  • (Peter --> Shane): also yeah i mean you get over losing things but
  • (Peter --> Shane): theyre still /gone/
  • (Shane --> Peter): Oh yeah I got puns out the wahoo.
  • (Peter --> Shane): is wahoo a type of fish
  • (Peter --> Shane): it is you are a freak slippin fish puns under my pundar
  • (Shane --> Peter): Yeah man shit this isn't even any fun I trout out such good ones and they are wasted on you.
  • (Shane --> Peter): It is so ruff not to be appreciated. :(
  • (Peter --> Shane): god /damn/ you
  • (Peter --> Shane): you got me lookin up every word you type tryin to see if its a type of fish
  • (Peter --> Shane): i just did a google search on 'yeah' to see if it was a type of fish
  • (Peter --> Shane): are you happy shane
  • (Peter --> Shane): are you happy you have made me google 'yeah' to see if it is a fish
  • (Shane --> Peter): I am giving you tailor-made awesome and -- yeah, actually, sucker, I AM happy.
  • (Peter --> Shane): good
  • (Peter --> Shane): you guys still have my webshooters right
  • (Peter --> Shane): or did a fish eat em
  • (Shane --> Peter): My sole purpose in life now is to fill your life with all the fishpunse I can.
  • (Shane --> Peter): We still have them dude those things don't look waterproof.
  • (Peter --> Shane): ok good
  • (Peter --> Shane): just got my new set finished today cant practice cuz of stitches but
  • (Peter --> Shane): once im back and jumping if you guys want i dunno if you figured them out by yourselves yet but
  • (Peter --> Shane): can show you some awesome places to basically fly
  • (Shane --> Peter): Woah hey don't think you can slip that one by me why the fuck do you have stitches?
  • (Shane --> Peter): Someone stick you with a javelin? Impale you on a pike? I hope it was tended by a proper sturgeon.
  • (Peter --> Shane): omg you really meant it
  • (Peter --> Shane): you are going to kill me with fish puns
  • (Peter --> Shane): you are probably going to put a fish pun on my tombstone
  • (Peter --> Shane): stitches were received on account of awesome
  • (Shane --> Peter): Probably yeah. 'It gives us great pains to buri Peter. He was a great chum.'
  • (Peter --> Shane): oh my god
  • (Peter --> Shane): you are some sort of pun-monster
  • (Peter --> Shane): i was running on rooftops and there was this girl and she was like 'sup' and i was like 'sup' and then there was a fight below
  • (Peter --> Shane): and then a bunch of angry dudes showed up chasing this other dude and i was like 'holycrap hey lady ill take you over to the next rooftop' and she was all 'k' and i did
  • (Peter --> Shane): and then i turn around and shane they threw a knife at me i dont even know these dudes and theyre throwing knives
  • (Peter --> Shane): and shane
  • (Peter --> Shane): shane i caught it
  • (Peter --> Shane): shane a dude threw a knife at me and i said nope
  • (Peter --> Shane): it was basically the sweetest thing ever
  • (Shane --> Peter): Shiiiit that is awesome. It's important not to flounder in moments like that.
  • (Peter --> Shane): but he threw another one and i did not catch that one
  • (Shane --> Peter): ... Erk, okay, that's more crappie.
  • (Peter --> Shane): but dr. name-i-cant-spell said it should be fine
  • (Peter --> Shane): in like a week or so
  • (Peter --> Shane): also are you two coming back to school because flying sharks in dr needs to become a thing
  • (Shane --> Peter): So for another week or so you basically can't do jack?
  • (Shane --> Peter): I dunno have they expelled us? We probably have scads of homework built up, not looking forward to that.
  • (Shane --> Peter): I am actually kind of wobbegong at the idea of all of it although Bastian's looking FORWARD to it, he's a freak.
  • (Peter --> Shane): yeah nothing involving jumping or running anyway and naw they wouldnt expel you dude wed riot
  • (Peter --> Shane): get a bunch of free willy shirts and cross out the willy and write sharktwins
  • (Peter --> Shane): cept thats kind of an orca or something not a shark i guess
  • (Peter --> Shane): also liking homework does not make you a freak math homeworks = awesome
  • (Shane --> Peter): Maybe you can do mine, then. I feel like it is going to be non-trevally difficult for me to make up the giant piles of work waiting for me.
  • (Peter --> Shane): probably not tho maybe you could do it over the summer i mean i could help you not gonna do it tho ivan already got in trouble for doing shelbs
  • (Shane --> Peter): Haha wait Ivan got in trouble?
  • (Peter --> Shane): yes and not with bees either
  • (Peter --> Shane): shelbs was really all down and mopey after you guys left and i think ivan felt bad for her and wanted to cheer her up so ended up doing her schoolwork for her and they found out
  • (Peter --> Shane): and then theres this teacher who put shelby and ivan in the dr and there were /bullets/ and they got really scared and uh actually i think the teach got in more trouble for /that/
  • (Peter --> Shane): still not sure what that was all about tryin to teach ivan and shelby the importance of friendship and getting shot at but
  • (Shane --> Peter): Whups. I should teach him not to get caught. -- Was this the bitch teacher Shelby was mentioning?
  • (Peter --> Shane): dunno but i dont think shelbs likes her
  • (Peter --> Shane): she did help save ivan tho this one time when one of the students tpd him into chinatown
  • (Peter --> Shane): omg shane it was hilarious ivan gets tpd into chinatown and the first thing he texts me is 'peter peter i think im in china'
  • (Peter --> Shane): and im like 'dude ask someone where you are'
  • (Shane --> Peter): Rookie mistake. My little bro does shit like that all the time.
  • (Shane --> Peter): I guess it must be kind of jarring. Think you're still in menhaden but then nope, just jumped straight to some other hamlet.
  • (Peter --> Shane): you
  • (Peter --> Shane): argh
  • (Peter --> Shane): brain breaking
  • (Peter --> Shane): i gotta go but
  • (Peter --> Shane): i am really glad you two are back
  • (Shane --> Peter): Sure yeah OK we can discus your insufficient punnery another time. Catch you later.