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TEXTS: Fucked Up
Dramatis Personae

Shane, Shelby

In Absentia


2013-04-26


reunion, via text message.

Location

shanephone and shelbyphone


  • (Shane --> Shelby): One TEXT MESSAGE come to Shelbyphone from Shanephone. Textmessage have no tone. Still. It is not hard to IMAGINE this one is So Totally Nonchalant: 'Yo. Shelby. You have any weekend plans?
  • (Shelby --> Shane): Shelbytext comes with a swiftness: 'wut. teh. fuk.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): R U BAK? WHER TEH FUK U BEN????
  • (Shane --> Shelby): Been sharky. It happens.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): ...
  • (Shelby --> Shane): i wuz scrd u guyz got labnapped. :P
  • (Shane --> Shelby): Eh. I don't think those dudes troll the oceans with submarines s'all good we did get in a fight with an octopus though. Those things are fucking badass.
  • (Shane --> Shelby): Nearly took Bastian's eye out. There was a disagreement about food.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): ...r u guys ok? wher u at now? did u cum bak 2 kik my ass?
  • (Shane --> Shelby): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p9A-oxUMAy8 <-- Look at that, that could've been us.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): not clikin til u anser me :P
  • (Shane --> Shelby): Maybe. I dunno. Do you want your ass kicked? I kicked Bastian's so many times, you're probably about due.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): noooo but i kinda figurd u wuld mebe wanna. did u guyz leeve cuz i brok up w/ b?
  • (Shelby --> Shane): also tat is a prty badass vid
  • (Shane --> Shelby): I mean I kind of do want to! Like, shit, B and I have gotten each other through a lot but Broken Heart is a new one. A new SHITTY one.
  • (Shane --> Shelby): But that's dumb sometimes relationships happen sometimes relationships end am I supposed to beat you into staying with him forever that would be the crappiest relationship.
  • (Shane --> Shelby): If you work it out you work it out. If you don't you don't. I'll put a picture of you on a punching bag and beat that though maybe.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): wutevr u wana do so long as it meens i dnt get hit :P wher u at now? u home?
  • (Shane --> Shelby): Also, yeah. That is badass. It's basically what it looks like if one of us tries to fight Taylor alone.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): lol
  • (Shane --> Shelby): Also this could all be a charade. I could be pretending to be OK with it so that you come over and then I punch you.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): u ass stop tryin 2 mak me laff TEL ME WHER U R
  • (Shane --> Shelby): At home.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): jax hom?
  • (Shane --> Shelby): Yeah.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): 4 good?
  • (Shane --> Shelby): For the indefinite future. I guess we'll have to see whether that is for good or for bad.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): r u kidin? 4 GOOD! srsly u get a good dad u KEEP HIM n kik ne1s ass if tey try 2 tak u away YAY UR HOOOOOME! <3
  • (Shane --> Shelby): Well, yeah, it's good for US. I don't know if it's good for HIM.
  • (Shane --> Shelby): Like he got his whole LIFE sorted out while we were gone I think being back is just going to make it all go to pieces again.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): wuz he hapy 2 c u?
  • (Shane --> Shelby): Man, how the fuck do you know if he's ever happy about anything. He LOOKED happy to see us.
  • (Shane --> Shelby): He always looks happy.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): did he hug u 4 lik 4evr?
  • (Shane --> Shelby): He almost lit the hospital on fire, what does that count as?
  • (Shelby --> Shane): ttly coounts as happy
  • (Shane --> Shelby): Could've been mad. The last times I've seen him accidentally set shit on fire were during sex and when someone was trying to beat us up.
  • (Shane --> Shelby): And he DEFINITELY wasn't having an orgasm.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): dude
  • (Shelby --> Shane): i alrdy kno waaaaaaaaaay moar bout ur dads sex lief then i wana ok?
  • (Shelby --> Shane): srsly i tink u bein home is liek teh best thing hes ben all kinda weerd sins u wer gon
  • (Shane --> Shelby): Yeah OK do you know the real reason we moved into the ocean?
  • (Shelby --> Shane): y?
  • (Shane --> Shelby): I mean, picture living in a small apartment when you can hear like an owl and smell like a bloodhound and then your dad's got his boyfriend over just down the hall.
  • (Shane --> Shelby): We had to swim across the Atlantic just to give him some privacy.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): roflmao
  • (Shelby --> Shane): try bein in his hed wile he wuz gettin busy
  • (Shane --> Shelby): JESUS.
  • (Shane --> Shelby): ... Actually, Micah's pretty hot. Was it hot?
  • (Shelby --> Shane): srsly hot
  • (Shelby --> Shane): liek omg dude knos sum srs mooooooooovs
  • (Shane --> Shelby): I would totally hook up with him but he has a thing about teenagers. ... also I guess screwing his boyfriend's kids, MAYBE.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): yeah peeps r funy bout tat sorta ting
  • (Shane --> Shelby): Though that isn't as universal a thing as you would imagine, Eric so completely tries getting in my dad's pants.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): rofl
  • (Shelby --> Shane): so if ur home now um...u tink mebe i culd c u guyz? good ideea bad idea?
  • (Shane --> Shelby): But then again Eric is pretty much THE BIGGEST hobag. It's impressive.
  • (Shane --> Shelby): I DID ask what you were doing this weekend you never answered.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): i wuz guna hed 2 teh lofts neway but if its guna mak b unhapy i duno? um hows he doin?
  • (Shane --> Shelby): He's doing better than he was when we left. I dunno. If you come and see him are you going to say shitty things to him? Cuz that might make him unhappy. Seeing you in itself probably won't make him unhappy.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): hell no im just glad u guyz r bak i wuldnt do tat
  • (Shane --> Shelby): OK. Cool. Then you should come. Jax took the weekend off so he'll probably be around I don't think we have plans though.
  • (Shane --> Shelby): UM I mean OK probably hanging out with a dad/teacher is not COOL for a weekend but whatthefuckever my dad breaks the awesomecurve on dads.
  • (Shane --> Shelby): And teachers, for that matter. Uh. Did the school expel us by the way? They frown on just disappearing from classes for weeks.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): ur dad is totes cool u dont evn kno liek we gota new teecher heer @ skool? n she is a BITCH n he totes stuk up 4 me aftr she fukd up HARDCOR
  • (Shelby --> Shane): tey beter not hav
  • (Shane --> Shelby): I guess we should probably check in on that. Bastian's been getting the SHAKES. From not having homework.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): also i cn b ther aftr classes onna 1st train bak
  • (Shane --> Shelby): Sweet. We'll probably be hanging out with Spencer till he goes to sleep he, uh, maybe was in the hospital (he's OK now though) he needs some FUN.
  • (Shane --> Shelby): Look at me. Dad time AND little brother time, I am pretty much the coolest of the cool.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): wtf hosptal?
  • (Shane --> Shelby): Yeeeeah he, uh, tried to come visit us. Teleport to us.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): wtf u gota figur out a way 2 leesh tat kid
  • (Shane --> Shelby): Yeah, Jax wants to implant a GPS tracker in him.
  • (Shane --> Shelby): Still, it got us out of the water pretty damn quick.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): gud! wuz getin 2 teh point we wer guna go stand onna beech n cut our wrists :P
  • (Shane --> Shelby): That is creepy as fuck. Also I might have eaten you.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): wutevr u guyz need 2 kno how much it fukd peeps up 2 hav u gon w/ no word
  • (Shane --> Shelby): Yeah. I figured we were going hunting or something when I met him out there. I wasn't planning on staying gone but I didn't want to leave him, either, when I realized he didn't want to come back.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): ...
  • (Shane --> Shelby): I mean. I would apologize except I'm not actually very sorry so it wouldn't mean much. Bastian needed me.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): no u culdnt leeve him. jesus. i dint think he liekd me TAT much
  • (Shane --> Shelby): What says this is about YOU?
  • (Shane --> Shelby): I mean, breaking up with him was one brick of shitty in an entire house built of shit.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): u guyz took off teh nite i brok up w/ him :P
  • (Shane --> Shelby): Yeah. I mean I'm not saying that didn't hurt him. But. There has just been a whole lot of shitty in life you did not CREATE this shitpile.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): i gess so kinda haet bein part of it but wutevr. so lon as i cn hug u both i rilly am glad ur bak
  • (Shane --> Shelby): I GUESS I will tolerate some hugs although fuck you know all day today has been like HUG O RAMA. HUGFEST. HUGSPLOSION. I am going to have a hug OVERDOSE.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): no fuk u! u go away tis is wut hapns haha so ther!
  • (Shane --> Shelby): Hugs are a lame welcome home gift I'm hoping Ryan at least ponies up some good weed.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): dont luk @ me im brok agin wuz gona do sum buskin tis weeknd 2 mak teh monnnnnnies
  • (Shane --> Shelby): Yeah, shit, I should also call Mel. Make sure I still have a job. Crap.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): u wan me 2 brin u nethin from teh skool?
  • (Shane --> Shelby): Yeah, my violin is there. Daiki probably has all Bastian's homework assignments neatly saved he might want those.
  • (Shane --> Shelby): ... Daiki probably has all MY homework assignments neatly saved but fuck it you can throw those out.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): kk wil get alla tat b4 i cum pfft no way dude u wana cum bak 2 skool u gota pay teh prise
  • (Shane --> Shelby): >:(
  • (Shelby --> Shane): don wory i bet daiki wuld luuuuv 2 tutr u XD
  • (Shane --> Shelby): Yeah actually you should bring him too I have already had welcome-home sex with Eric I am up for round two.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): ...
  • (Shelby --> Shane): u wuna fuk him u cum heer urself :P
  • (Shane --> Shelby): I mean, he has his own dorm so that's a plus. It's right next to Taylor's, though, so mega awkward.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): y dus taylor wuna fuk him 2? :P
  • (Shane --> Shelby): No. Just, man, fucking with a telepath overhearing is -- actually, OK, it's exactly like home.
  • (Shane --> Shelby): Except Hive's somehow not awkward just snarky.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): w8 taylors got telepthy?
  • (Shelby --> Shane): mebe if hive gets laid hell stop bein snarky i volinteer!
  • (Shane --> Shelby): Yup. Taylor. Tentacles. Telepathy. It's all very alliterative.
  • (Shane --> Shelby): Go for it. I'd be all over that myself except he's obnoxiously straight.
  • (Shane --> Shelby): But such a fucking tease I mean have you SEEN him with Flicker? Or Jim? Or Dusk? It is all cuddles all the time how does he NOT like the cock.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): and datin sum1 :P i kno tat hole apt is liek srs pr0n foldr mateeral
  • (Shane --> Shelby): For serious. It is sometimes STILL hard for me to believe Hive/Flicker Dusk/Ian aren't actually banging but no. Straight. I don't think Flicker's ever even kissed anyone though maybe he can be turned. Maybe you can turn him! He's as hot as Hive is. Maybe you could make it a threesome.
  • (Shane --> Shelby): I dig green eyes though. Flicker and Ryan both. >:( But yeah no Hive actually getting some action would be good I don't get why there aren't chicks swarming all OVER that.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): dude im tryin bleev me
  • (Shelby --> Shane): watch ill try agin rite now
  • (Shelby --> Hive): hey hive watcha doin'
  • (Shane --> Shelby): Right now? Are you secretly already here?
  • (Shelby --> Shane): no im txtin him 4 a hookup
  • (Hive --> Shelby): Watching a bunch of sweaty dudes grunting around. What're you doing?
  • (Shelby --> Hive): ttly hot! im txtin shane u heer bout tem bein bak? shane thinks u n me shuld hook up'
  • (Shelby --> Hive): how bout tis weeknd?'
  • (Hive --> Shelby): I dunno it's not that hot. Bunch of construction workers. A lot of beer bellies. And yeah I heard trust me I think every fucking psionic in New York could feel Jax's happy that night. When did Shane turn all Yente?
  • (Shelby --> Hive): cuz hes alredy goten a fuk n is getin moar soon as daiki gets dun w/ class i gess'
  • (Shelby --> Shane): hes playin hard 2 get
  • (Shane --> Shelby): Oh, good. Cool. It's been so fucking long though is he even sure all the parts are still in working order?
  • (Shane --> Shelby): Like he might be worried he isn't capable of performing anymore.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): rofl oh man shuld bring a duster n liek...wuts tat oil stuff 10w40 or wutevr
  • (Shane --> Shelby): WD40. He might need it. Get him a tuneup. Make sure it's still roadworthy.
  • (Hive --> Shelby): I... see. What does that have to do with you and me exactly?
  • (Shelby --> Shane): wuld b prty awsum! gess well see he sed we wer cool n he did kinda kiss me but he wuz fukd up ten mebe he dusnt wanna
  • (Shelby --> Hive): hez spredin teh luv, dude. u up 4 it?'
  • (Shelby --> Hive): he sez mebe ur scard ur parts don work nemor'
  • (Shane --> Shelby): Is he still fucked up? He was a frakking mess for a while there.
  • (Hive --> Shelby): ...
  • (Shelby --> Shane): hez sooooo much betr now. assholucien did sumthin 2 him
  • (Shelby --> Shane): but it helpd
  • (Hive --> Shelby): I'm pretty sure they're still operational it's not like they RUST.
  • (Shelby --> Hive): mebe i shuld chek 2 mak sur
  • (Shane --> Shelby): Lucien did something to him? Was that something a blowjob?
  • (Shelby --> Shane): no it wuz holdin hands
  • (Shane --> Shelby): Jesus, holding hands is enough? No wonder he makes the big bucks. If he can get you off with handholding imagine what his mouth could do.
  • (Shane --> Shelby): I mean he is Pretty Fine you know? ... I think it's the green eyes again, FUCK.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): ugh plz dont ur gona mak me thro up
  • (Shane --> Shelby): Throw up? You serious? I mean are your eyes broken, that is one ridiculously hot dude.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): he cn b prty n stil n ass
  • (Shelby --> Shane): n not liek hot ass
  • (Shane --> Shelby): DUDE. You're friends with me. You're trying to hook up with Hive. When has someone being an unmitigated asshole stopped you liking them?
  • (Shane --> Shelby): It IS hot ass I'd tap that. But I'm broke. :( Maybe I'll ask Ryan for an early Christmas present. Of hooker.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): wen teh asshols got a stik up his ass teh size of teh stat bildin
  • (Shane --> Shelby): Huh, he seems chill to me. Weird. We hang out with his sister a lot, she is rad. I think she's enrolling at our school next year.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): no no no ask 4 it soonr gota use teh comin home happy 4 all teh good stuf
  • (Shelby --> Shane): yeah he sed hope she isnt stuk up
  • (Shane --> Shelby): No she's kind of a badass.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): sweet
  • (Hive --> Shelby): I check pretty regularly, you know those things are functional even without someone else around?
  • (Shelby --> Hive): moar fun w/ sum1 helpin! cmooon i kno u wana'
  • (Hive --> Shelby): If I did everything in life I wanted to do the world would be a more terrifying place. Also, shit, I'm at work I gotta go make sure these people don't fuck everything up. Swing by tonight.
  • (Hive --> Shelby): For BEER, OK. I am not promising anything more than beer.
  • (Shelby --> Hive): i am sooooo ther wooooo!'
  • (Shelby --> Shane): sweeeeet he wants me 2 cum by 4 beer 2nite! bow chicka wow
  • (Shane --> Shelby): Sweet. Come down here after you are finished wearing him out.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): u kno it
  • (Shelby --> Shane): n mebe ill aim daiki ur way 1st
  • (Shane --> Shelby): Awesome. Though knowing him he'll make me do homework before I get any.
  • (Shane --> Shelby): UGH and his asshole fucking powers will make me HAPPY ABOUT IT.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): sumtiem u gota jump teh hoops, dude
  • (Shelby --> Shane): just think bout teh sweet sweet luvin
  • (Shane --> Shelby): The things I do for love. >:( ... Or, well, sex, anyway.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): roflmao not evn a lil luv? cmon dude i kno u gota hart in ther sumwher
  • (Shane --> Shelby): I don't know. With Daiki it's hard to tell.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): tru nuff poor guy
  • (Shane --> Shelby): Yeah. I mean I think I love him it's not like I STOP when he's not here doing his thing but he gets so finicky about shit cuz. Well. You know. Everyone loves him. At least with Eric it's not complicated.
  • (Shane --> Shelby): ... at least I think it's not complicated, uh, don't tell him I told you but he cried when he saw me again. I mean I did too so we're even but. Shit.
  • (Shane --> Shelby): It was supposed to be just sex. :/
  • (Shelby --> Shane): whoa w8 wut?
  • (Shelby --> Shane): liek reel cryin?
  • (Shane --> Shelby): I dunno not like SOBBING just like teary.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): ...dude manteers r liek supr speshul
  • (Shane --> Shelby): He is such a fucking MAN too holy shit all COP and built like a linebacker and hookups every night. He does not seem like the teary sort.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): ur dad is gona be piiiiiissed if hez all liek i luv u shane
  • (Shane --> Shelby): Maybe. I don't know. They seem to have come to some kind of truce.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): yeah? huh...u kno its stil illegl til u turn 17
  • (Shane --> Shelby): I know. :( I don't want to get him in trouble. That's weird, right? I hook up with dudes at Evolve all the time and I've never given a shit if THEY got in trouble.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): dus ur stomak go all wiggly round him?
  • (Shane --> Shelby): I don't think he will, though, he's a cop. Who's going to arrest him for banging some mutie kid? Laugh at him, maybe. But we're not exactly high on the Save The Children brigade's concern list.
  • (Shane --> Shelby): I don't know. Maybe.
  • (Shane --> Shelby): Sometimes.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): oh man
  • (Shelby --> Shane): u got it bad
  • (Shane --> Shelby): :/
  • (Shelby --> Shane): tats how i get round hive
  • (Shelby --> Shane): n i KNO i got it bad 4 him
  • (Shane --> Shelby): Ugh I don't know. I mean he's a really good lay. Maybe it is just that. It is nice to be with someone I don't have to worry about HOSPITALIZING.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): tel me bout it :/ i dont think u get buterflys 4 just a good lay tho?
  • (Shane --> Shelby): Hey sorry I mean it's totally POSSIBLE to hook up with other people it just takes practice. MAYBE I should give lessons.
  • (Shane --> Shelby): Uhhh not that you maybe care about that anymore but. Just in case you and Bastian try it again.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): i liek b i srsly do n i wuldnt mind i jus...i duno
  • (Shane --> Shelby): Well, you are both seriously fucked up people.
  • (Shane --> Shelby): ... No offense. Just it's not surprising that comes with a host of fucked the fuck up.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): lol non takn. sjust i haet feelin liek i gota bully him 2 do evrythin u kno? hell he wuldnt evn ask me out w/out u N hive makin him
  • (Shelby --> Shane): dint hav ne reeson 2 say no wen he askd but dam if im guna do all teh work ykno?
  • (Shane --> Shelby): Yeah. Still you might end up hooking up without the dating thing and all that baggage and then you will need to know.
  • (Shane --> Shelby): Cuz sex + full body abrasion is not all that sexy. Trust me it ruined the first time I ever boned anyone. ... for serious though it is all the emotional shit that fucks everything to hell.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): tru nuff! id be up 4 it duno tho he wuz prty scard bout hurtin me mebe U shuld giv HIM tips :P
  • (Shane --> Shelby): Yeah hm. I could show him.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): ttly evn if he dusnt hook up w/ me tats usful 2 kno rite?
  • (Shelby --> Shane): gota pop his chery sumtim
  • (Shane --> Shelby): Yeah, I think having more FUN might just be good for him. Loosen the fuck up. Stop worrying about every damn thing.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): 4 srs
  • (Shelby --> Shane): but tat jus gets u bak 2 havin 2 buly him :P
  • (Shane --> Shelby): Haha. Nah I'm not going to badger him into anything. I just think he needs to relax. He's so much HAPPIER when he's relaxed.
  • (Shane --> Shelby): But that's basically never when we're out of the water. :/
  • (Shelby --> Shane): :/
  • (Shelby --> Shane): mebe hell relx now u guys r bak
  • (Shane --> Shelby): I don't think so, being home makes him worse. Sort of. Happier in some ways. More stressed in a lot of ways.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): man
  • (Shelby --> Shane): dude needs 2 b liek hi 24/7
  • (Shane --> Shelby): I mean he thinks Jax is going to toss us out so he gets all RIDICULOUSLY STRESSED about being perfect. I think being perma-stoned would be good for his stress levels, yeah.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): mebe we can strt slipin prozac into his fish
  • (Shane --> Shelby): Yeah actually that would probably be good. Though probably pot's better you know those fucking happy-pills can make you MORE suicidal at first? Seems kind of counterintuitive. But I don't think I want to give him any more risk of sads.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): pot brownees?
  • (Shelby --> Shane): w8 y guys cant eet tat shit hmm
  • (Shane --> Shelby): Pot meatloaf.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): yeah! xcept wen he finds out hell prolly be supr pissd huh?
  • (Shane --> Shelby): Probably, he's probably finicky about things like nonconsensually drugging him.
  • (Shane --> Shelby): Maybe should stick with sex instead. (ALSO consensually.)
  • (Shelby --> Shane): meh ok u work on him i cn help but if hez all feely bout me mebe wont help much cuz ykno
  • (Shane --> Shelby): You know, I was thinking about it and I don't think I actually HAVE any friends that aren't fucked up as hell.
  • (Shane --> Shelby): Where do normal people hang out?
  • (Shelby --> Shane): welcum 2 teh world
  • (Shelby --> Shane): duno church mebe?
  • (Shane --> Shelby): I don't think so, Jax goes to church every day almost and he's as fucked as anyone.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): yeah but he cam frm teh labs 2
  • (Shane --> Shelby): Yeah, I don't know whether or not he was fucked up before that. Hm. Maybe I need friends who are... human. :/
  • (Shelby --> Shane): ugh humans r kinda scary cept 4 micah n mel
  • (Shelby --> Shane): mebe only humans w/ m nams
  • (Shane --> Shelby): Yeah I gotta admit it's a way higher bar for me to trust them if they're humans. Also they're sort of more boring? But Micah and Mel are rad.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): lol honrary freeks
  • (Shane --> Shelby): Micah's sort of a cyborg so maybe that's why. I don't know about Mel though. Also your doc doesn't have an M.
  • (Shane --> Shelby): I'd totally tap that too though. EVEN THOUGH human and EVEN THOUGH no m name.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): i duno his midl name mebe it strts w/ m? n nah hez got a thing bout teens 2
  • (Shane --> Shelby): People should count age in life experience. Only then I guess we'd both be around fifty and too old for sex.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): fuk tat
  • (Shelby --> Shane): swhy they got teh blu pill
  • (Shane --> Shelby): You don't need to be fifty for that it also just helps keep going for hours.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): u kno wut i meen :P
  • (Shane --> Shelby): Yeah but shit now I want to feed some to Eric. Although drugs are weird as fuck with him, probably wouldn't last.
  • (Shane --> Shelby): Maybe A LOT of it.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): lol liek he needs it if hez heelin himsef up alla tiem its liek BAM redy agin rite away
  • (Shelby --> Shane): im gessin i havnt fukd him or nethin
  • (Shane --> Shelby): Actually yeah I don't have ANY complaints about his stamina. And you haven't?? I just assume everyone who knows him has.
  • (Shane --> Shelby): You should.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): newp cum clos a cuple times but like...wile u wer gon saw him @ teh club n we dancd but he took me bak 2 docs n nothin
  • (Shelby --> Shane): mebe he dus luv u XD
  • (Shane --> Shelby): What does love have to do with anything? I love Dai I fuck other people though it's not like people run OUT of love. You should totally hook up with him he is fantastic.
  • (Shane --> Shelby): Ooh maybe Bastian could use him like a training dummy.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): i heer ya n mebe i wil! culd b good 4 bastian 2 hmmmm!
  • (Shelby --> Shane): we shulda totes did a 4sum on ur bday
  • (Shelby --> Shane): xcept i think b wulda died
  • (Shane --> Shelby): Pfft birthdays aren't so special good job you successfully didn't die. We can still do one. This weekend.
  • (Shane --> Shelby): ... actually I guess given all our lives successfully not dying IS kind of noteworthy.
  • (Shane --> Shelby): Except Eric, ahaha.
  • (Shane --> Shelby): ... Plus I HAVE died so I can't even claim that as an accomplishment.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): rofl u shulda ben a cat w/ ur 9 livs
  • (Shelby --> Shane): mebe if teh hive thin dusnt work out he dint say y or n 2 fukin just sed hed hav beer ther
  • (Shane --> Shelby): Yeah maybe. Eric won't bone you if you're drunk or high though he has a THING. :/
  • (Shane --> Shelby): I mean, it's a consent thing so I guess that's a GOOD THING but sometimes I just want to get smashed and have good sex y'know?
  • (Shelby --> Shane): i kno i think tats wut hapend wen i 1st met him? wuz rollin HARDCOR n wuldve ben all ovr tat but he sed no
  • (Shane --> Shelby): Yeah it's sometimes annoying but then I think of some of the other assholes I've met in clubs and, shit, maybe everyone should be more like that.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): lol teh wordl wuld be a fuky kinda plaec i liek it
  • (Shane --> Shelby): I guess if everyone were like him the world would pretty much be a 24/7 orgy. Not much would get done.
  • (Shelby --> Shane): but itd b sooo much happy
  • (Shelby --> Shane): gess spretty dum wishin 4 shit liek tat tho XD hey i gota go but will cum c u aftr i jump hive k?
  • (Shane --> Shelby): Until we all starved to death because nobody is growing food anymore. Just boning in all the fields.
  • (Shane --> Shelby): Sure thing. See you!
  • (Shelby --> Shane): wut a way 2 go huh? lol