Logs:Right Time

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Right Time
Dramatis Personae

Lily, Polaris

2021-12-29


I know you doubt yourself, but for what it's worth, I believe in you.

Location

<NYC> Lily’s Housesit — Chelsea


  • (Polaris --> Lily): Hey. Happy birthday. I made you a thing can I bring it to you
  • (Polaris --> Lily): and maybe hang out or something?
  • (Polaris --> Lily): Just fyi I'm kinda stoned

There's a delay, maybe ten minutes, between when the messages are read and when the bouncing ellipses of typing pop up on Polaris' screen.

  • (Lily --> Polaris): Thanks.
  • (Lily --> Polaris): I'm free for a few hours if you want to stop by.
  • (Lily --> Polaris): If you want to bring by weed I wouldn't say no.

This one-bedroom apartment fourth floor walkup is well furnished in a sleek, minimalist design, white walls and cream furniture with bright green houseplants placed in corners where the white threatens to overwhelm the eye. The hardwood floors give the living room some bit of warmth, as does the caramel brown of a cat’s fur as it lazes atop a combination bookshelf-cat tree. Lily’s black rolling duffle bag, beginning to show wear and tear from over a year of moving from place to place, is hosting the other cat occupant of this apartment on top of it. There is a small kitchen just off to the left side of the doorway, also outfitted in white and chrome, while a hall on the right leads to the tiniest 1-bathroom and slightly bigger single bedroom, through which one can access the fire escape.

Polaris gets buzzed up quickly, the door slightly ajar when she makes it up the stairs. Lily is dressed in flannel pajama pants and an oversized UPenn shirt, sitting at the couch pinning her hair up into tight foam curlers. A bottle of wine is out on the living room coffee table, a pair of black heels set just beside the sofa.

Polaris is slow getting up the stairs, and she hesitates by the door for a moment before closing it behind her. She's wearing a black motorcycle jacket over a black fitted tee with a silver Tree of Gondor emblazoned on the chest, black jeans, and black boots with her usual assortment of steel accessories, a black canvas satchel covered with pins and patches slung over one shoulder. She gives a little wave and wanders over to settle on the arm of the couch, not quite looking directly at Lily. "Hey. How you holding up?"

Lily tops up her glass of wine before glancing up at Polaris. “I’m fine?” There’s an uptick at the end of the sentence. “Should I not be? How are you?” She shrugs, points at the bottle. “I got this and like. Orange juice. If you want something. Woman who lives here has fancy herbal teas too.” Lily points out the cats — “Coffee is friendly. Chickpea is less so.”

"Good, good. It's good that you're--" Polaris pauses, as if she'd momentarily lost track of her sentence. "--fine. I'm. Also fine. I'd drink a fancy herbal tea." Her steel wire rings curl and twist, then freeze into their new shapes. "I don't have any cake, but I did bring flowers." She opens the flap of her satchel and a series of items float out to settle in a row on the coffee table: a lighter, a small canister, a pipe, and, a flat-ish gift-wrapped box. "If I start making shit awkward please tell me."

“I’m not big on birthday cake.” Lily takes a gulp of wine before standing up, slipping into the kitchen and rattling around in unfamiliar cupboards to start hot water and find the tea pot. “You didn’t need to get me anything.” Clang clang clang. “I don’t see what’s awkward about this.” Her voice is dripping with sarcasm. “Haven’t heard from you in a while, you reappear on my birthday, historically not my favorite day of the year, what’s awkward about that?”

Polaris takes a deep breath, lets it back out, and takes another, even slower. "Yeah...that was supposed to be 'more awkward.'" For a moment it seems possible that's all she's going to say, but she finally does follow Lily to the kitchen. "I'm sorry. That I didn't like, follow up. Though if I'd tried that before cycling down..." She chews on her lower lip. "If you want to process now, we can do that, but." Her wire rings slither restlessly across her knuckles, twining and untwining. "I know it's a hard day for you. So. We don't have to get into it right now. Is all I meant."

The kettle hisses into the silence. Lily pulls it off its base and pours it into a clear glass teapot, the water staining pink inside already as it passes through the steeper. "Are you? Cycled down now?" She leans against the fridge, glancing at the clock on the stove before looking towards Polaris. "I still have your ring. You should. Probably take it back."

"Yep. Probably the longest I've been at baseline since..." Polaris looks down at her hands. "Since before I met you, pretty much. Reminds me of the good ol' days when the crazing was like. Kinda intermittent?" Her brows furrow faintly. "I--oh, right, ring. I wasn't like showing off, you know. It's a..." She waves one hand in a vague circular motion as she searches for a word. "...focus? Not the ring itself, just--nevermind it's not important. Thanks for holding onto it."

"So since before he died." Enough time has passed -- Lily pours a mug for Polaris and passes it to her, then takes the whole teapot back out to the living room. "That wasn't -- that was cool don't get me wrong I still don't understand how you did that." She sets the teapot down and shoos the cat ("Coffee, up-up," she coos,) off her duffle. "It's important to you, isn't it? So." She digs through the duffle for a moment before her hand emerges, silver CTR ring laying on her palm.

Polaris grits her teeth, but her reply is soft. "Yeah." She accepts the mug and offers a lazy salute with it as she follows her host back to the living room. "It is cool, isn't it? I didn't know until--DJ pointed it out. Apparently there's other kinds of magnetism I can't feel directly, but if I pull the field lines around that just right..." She stretches out her hand and narrows her eyes in concentration. "...it's like. Picking something up with a cat's cradle." The ring grows lighter in Lily's hand, then lifts up and levitates unsteadily to Polaris's. "It's a reminder to use the free will Heavenly Parents gave us to do good. That it's a choice, every single time." Her hand closes gently around the ring. "That's pretty important, yeah."

“It’s neat.” Lily watches, just with human vision, as the ring floats away. Her expression softens just for a moment into awe and admiration, before curling into barely disguised distaste. “Thought you said we didn’t have to get into it.” Lily plants herself back on the couch and gulps down half her glass of wine. “That’s pretty it, I think. Talking about parents, heavenly or otherwise.”

Polaris blinks at Lily, her breathing slow and deliberate. "Okay." Her voice quivers, and she draws another breath to even it out. "Okay. I just thought you were signaling consent to hear religion words when you asked whether a ring that you knew had religious significance was important to me." She sounds not so much sarcastic or angry as perplexed. "In retrospect, it was probably a rhetorical question. Anyway, I'm not sure we have the same idea about 'it'. But..." Her eyes drop to the ring she's now gripping tight. "If it would help? I can avoid the G word. Just tonight."

“It was confirmation it was important to you. That’s all.” The glass gets emptied — Lily pours herself more wine. “Because obviously I know what the fucking ring is for, right, if it wasn’t yours I probably would have chucked it into the river.” Her hand reaches for the canister, looks up to Polaris with eyebrows raised. “I probably should have warned you. I’m usually a mean bitch on my birthday. May I?”

Polaris squints her eyes shut. "Right. They probably made you wear one when you were little. Though I feel like it's different when..." She trails off, shrugging, and sinks down to sit beside Lily. "I wasn't expecting a warm reception," she admits quietly, turning the CTR ring between her fingertips, "Wasn't really sure what to expect, but. Here I am." To the canister she waves her casual assent. "Go for it. I dunno your tolerance but it's pretty strong. My weed man is the s--best."

“It’s not you. Not just you, anyway. My friends from undergrad can confirm I’m always a bitch between Christmas and New Years.” She opens up the canister, moves some flower from their to the bowl of the pipe. “Give my thanks to your weed guy. Maybe my number too.” She grabs the lighter in one hand, the pipe in the other, and leans back. “What were you hoping for? Today. Texting me. Coming here. Bring me to Jesus? Get on my case for my memories being wrong? Eat cake?” The words are hostile, but Lily’s tone is tired and flat.

Polaris bites her lower lip, hard, her pale cheeks flushing pink. "I was never trying to convert you. Frak, I wanted to talk because I was having doubts. And I wasn't getting on your case for your memories--" Her mouth clamps shut briefly. "You seem more eager to get into it than I am. Like, we'll have to talk about that some time, but today I just..." She slumps lower into the couch cushions, sipping at her tea in a transparent bid to stall until she finds the words. "Didn't want you to have to be alone."

Lily's thumb catches on the wheel of the lighter. "Sorry. I didn't -- realize. Was being defensive. Am being defensive." Her focus shifts to the pipe, flicking the lighter a few times before the flame actually catches on the flower. "I'm pretty used to being alone today, but I -- I do appreciate it." She quiets for a minute, eyes fluttering closed as she holds in the smoke. Breathes it out and holds the pipe to Polaris. "What about -- have you seen him today?"

Polaris is still fidgeting with the ring, slipping it onto and off every finger but the one she usually wears it on. "Yeah. Maybe I was a bit, too. Though that wasn't why I descended into..." She shakes one fist in the air and makes some vaguely disgruntled arglebargle noises, then appends, "That was an impression of me, yelling. Which wasn't helpful to anyone." Though she accepts the pipe somewhat automatically, she pauses a thoughtful beat before actually taking a hit. Maybe it was thoughtful? Maybe she just lost track of what she was doing. She breathes a stream of smoke up at the ceiling and levitates both items back towards Lily. "We hung out, yeah." Her shoulders draw inward and her eyes dart to the wrapped box on the table. "Didn't want him to be alone, either."

Lily's expression cracks into half a smile at Polaris' 'old-man-yells-at-cloud' impression. "You had points. Some. Been doing reflecting and shit." Lily gets up just for a moment to pick up the cats and deposit them in the bedroom, where she cracks open a window before returning and sinking back into the sofa. Her turn on the pipe -- she takes another hit and passes it back. "Is he. Good? He's got less practice being alone today, I think. God. Shit. I should --" Lily reaches sort of half-heartedly for her phone.

Polaris's eyes widen, her expression a caricature of shock and mortification. "Oh shoot, was I supposed to be reflecting? That was a joke," she's quick to add. "Mostly. I mean, I've--it's just. Been kinduva month. I did actually think about it. Just haven't come to any conclusions I like." Her next pull on the pipe is long and deep, her eyes closing as she exhales and passes back to Lily. "Okay, I'm done--for now. I'm a frakkin...lightweight these days." She shakes her head. "He was together, but I don't think he was okay. I'm not sure anyone or anything in this universe can make today okay for him, but it probably still helps to hear from people who care about him."

Lily actually does laugh at that, a short chuckle as her hand drifts from her phone to the glass of wine, which she empties again before taking the pipe back. “Probably,” she says, almost mumbling into the pipe itself before she pulls. Leans her head back to exhale and rail at the ceiling; “Feels fucked up, though. Hi, happy twenty-eighth birthday from your extra-dimensional ex-Mormon not-sister, I’m currently trying to get blasted out of my mind before the club, want to hang out? Didn’t get you anything, let’s get cake.” She snorts. “I wouldn’t want to hear from me. You really did not have to get me anything, you know.”

Polaris picks her tea back up. "I don't know if that's frakked up. If you think it is, that's more important than my opinion anyway." She crosses her legs and turns half aside to face Lily. "And I don't know if he'd want to hear from you, but I know he isn't you. Neither am I." A faint smile tugs at her face. "I didn't get you anything. I made you something."

Lily's brow furrows at that, at Polaris' small smile and at her understanding. Sets the pipe down, reaches out for her phone and then changes course for the box still on the coffee table. "You made me something." Her voice is smaller, a little disbelieving, a little awed. "You definitely did not have to make me anything." She stares at it for another moment before pulling at the wrapping paper. "Would you rather I wait to open this?"

Polaris smiles easier this time. "I know, but I wanted to." She sits up a little straighter, watching Lily take up the box. "You can open it now, and it's totally okay if you don't like it." She rests her head back against the couch cushion.

The box is wrapped in Lisa Frank-esque rainbow unicorn wrapping paper. Inside is a polished silver disc with curved edges: a pocket watch attached to a half-Persian maille chain. Clicking it open reveals minimalistic modern hands mounted on a steel dial with a blue heat-tempered image of a Rod of Asclepius.

Tucked beneath it is a note written in small but clear block letters on thick recycled cardstock:

I know you doubt yourself, but for what it's worth, I believe in you.
~ Polaris

The wrapping paper falls away, the lid of the box soon joining it on the floor. Lily’s breath catches in her throat when she clicks it open, runs one finger over the asklepian. She stares at the note for a moment, then back to the watch in her palm. “It’s beautiful,” Lily says after a moment. “You — you made this?”

Polaris beams. "Yes! I mean. Not the uh...watch guts." The addition is sheepish, but she does not blush. "I had help with most of the other parts, too. Two metalworking classes only go so far, but the instructors love me and my skillshare game is strong." She relaxes back against the couch again. "I'm really glad you like it. Though...just a heads up, it matches the compass I made DJ." Then she admits, "Okay, all my machining pieces kinda match. If this were a YA fantasy novel, they'd be secret magical tools. All I gotta do is make myself a--sextant or something, and we'll all be ready to go on a perilous mission to save the world."

Lily turns it over in her hand, running her thumb over the outside edge. “I don’t know if I want to bring this on the next perilous mission. It’s too pretty to get hit by swords or bullets or what have you.” She closes the watch, gripping the disc tight in her hand. Opens it again, sets it down, grabs her phone to take a picture and send it off with a text.

  • (Lily —>DJ): heard a rumor that we match, now. Happy birthday, DJ.
  • (DJ --> Lily): I thought part of the twin thing was a kind of inherent matching. Happy birthday, Lily.

Her phone clatters down after, twisting to face Polaris better on the couch. “Can I give you a hug?”

"You'll be glad to have it if the perilous mission involves keeping time or determining longitude, or something." Polaris quirks a lopsided smile that softens bittersweet when Lily sends her message. "But, you know, along the way we'll learn the magic was inside us all along."

At the question she sits up at once, glances down at the ring in her hand and slips it onto her index finger. She doesn't answer aloud, but curls an arm around Lily and pulls her into a tight embrace.