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Front Page Material
Dramatis Personae

Cassy, Nessie

In Absentia

Charles, Erik, Scott, Ryan

2023-04-26


"Ohmygoshohmygosh." (Followed by disseminating the news.)

Location

<XAV> Journalism Room


Cassandra Villeneueve is technically numbered as a part of the school paper's team of roving reporters. Technically because over the years she's spent a whole lot of her time bothering other clubs while 'in the field'. So much so she forgets she's supposed to be there for a story and winds up learning how to operate a sailboat instead. But it does mean she knows when and where the more reliable members gather!

Okay that's a lie. She just listened out for the members with her mutant power and set off towards them. But shhh don't tell anyone else that.

Today she has a story to tell.

Wearing a dress that's mostly red & black with an unusual number of belts and buckles. She's either cosplaying as a character from a show she's (re)watching or it's all an elaborate set up for a magic trick. She doesn't quite burst into the room yelling stop the press. But it's close.

"Ohmygoshohmygosh," she exclaims. Entire body literally vibrating as her power generates her words. "You are never going to believe it. This is the most shocking thing since.." She pauses. "I was going to say the school was founded. But a whole bunch of weird stuff has happened since then so... That's not important. What's important is the song."

Nessie, Oracle Editor and intrepid journalist (insofar as journalism consists of spreading gossip with a very occasional bare minimum nod to fact-checking), has been hard at work in the home of Xavier's extremely reliable school newspaper. Reliable in that it is, at least, printed very punctually, the student body and longsuffering teachers can count on that. At the moment she is sorting through the stories submitted with a critical eye and exacting standards -- only the most interesting will do.

Cassy's interruption, of course, then, takes top priority in her attention. Where she has been crouched low on her many legs the scorpion-girl rises a little higher to peer over the top of her computer, then scuttles out from behind it with a skittery clicking of pointed hard feet. "Have you heard all the gossip since the school was founded?" she's asking, not skeptical but genuinely curious like she suspects Cassy might actually have some secret source of All The Xavier's History. But moving on from this in short order, all her several pairs of eyes fixing on the vibrating audiokinetic: "How shocking are we talking is this better than the day Mariah body swapped all the teachers because that was mostly just actually kind of funny. Maybe," she's acknowledging, "not for some of them."

Cassy blinks a few times. "I can hear the teachers lounge?" she muses. "Some have been here basically forever.. Now you mention it I bet the school paper has archives too." Not that she'll be going to check them. It seems a little too much like fact checking.

Her buckled dress makes a few jangling noises as she talks. Her power causing a thrum when she speaks that not even years of power training can help with.

"You remember the rumour about Xavier doing a karaoke night?" She asks, voice dropping conspiratorially low. "I've been trying to track down the truth behind it. And what I discovered.... It's front page material." The petite redhead looks around and snags herself a chair. "That was pretty hilarious. Hearing all the reactions. Priceless. A few people say some of them never switched back but it's pure speculation."

Nothing at all like her cold hard facts.

"I heard. The song."

"Oh wow did they have a paper when Mr. Summers was a student because I should really look that up..." Nessie is considering what potential lies here, but -- easily distracted back to the topic at hand, looks back to Cassy with an eager swish of her tail. A hopeful bounce on her many-jointed legs. "What did you find out where he does karaoke how did you -- ohmygosh what is it. It's Gangnam Style isn't it." Her fists are flicking in some cheerful mimicry of -- at least the upper half of the iconic dance, though perhaps the rapid skitter-hop of her Many Legs does not exactly call to mind the rest of it.

Cassy stops, holds still for a moment to build the dramatic tension, then shakes her head. "No, it was...." She doesn't make a drum roll sound, but something in her expression suggests she deeply wants to. "The Sexy Magneto S and M song."

She has prepared for this moment. While she can replicate any sound it's contingent on her remembering it properly. And even she's prone to mis-remembering lyrics now and again. She pulls out her phone to play a recording of the original. No need to remember the lyrics. And plus side she doesn't have to sing it.

"I couldn't see him but I also heard what might have been dance moves. Fabric motion mostly."

Nessie's forwardmost pair of eyes go wide first, and her first response, at once weirded out and excited: "-- He listens to Ryan Black?" After this, the rest of her eyes widen as well. "He listens to Ryan Black --" And now she's looking around quickly, her voice dropping to a hush that likely only Cassy can hear: "... singing about, like, being a... Magneto... sex... dom... inator? What if he's, like, just pretending to want peace and he actually wants Magneto-sex. Ohmygosh do you think that's what happens in the Brotherhood -- ohmygosh," her tail is swishing again, faster, "What if the X-Men are his secret, like, you know," if she had eyebrows she'd probably be waggling them significantly here but as it is her forehead is just lifting kind of scrunchily here, "like the Brotherhood. Rival, um, weird," she makes an awkward clumsy whipping motion, both with her hand and, more inadvertently, with her tail. "... groups. I never thought I'd ever even say this but like, can we even print that?"

"My theory? This whole X-Men versus Brotherhood thing? Repressed sexual tension." Cassy states. Matter of fact. QED. Case closed. "But that will definitely get us shut down by the censors." She sighs. "We'll probably need to use a photo with his face pixelated out and say 'local headmaster' plus put allegedly a lot."

She grips the arm on the chair she's plopped herself down into. "The sound will haunt me."

Her hand comes up to her brow and she massages her forehead. "But not for the reason you're thinking... He was... He was really good. Must have spent hours practising."

"Oh my gosh," Nessie says again, and when she settles back down into her habitual crouch, torso sinking lower to the ground, she's scrubbing wearily at her face. "I feel like maybe he'd still know it was us then but, I mean, we definitely can't bury this. We'll just have to get it out some other way." One of the smaller pincer-arms in front of her tap-tap-taps at a nearby desk. "Oh, oh, oh! We could make a video and send it anonymously to everyone I totally know who could send it for us even! Do you think you could handle sound for that? We'll need everything to be perfect if we want it to have the right impact -- oh!" On this last oh she's rising again, already halfway to the door. "Think about the sound okay? I know exactly who we need on video editing meet us in the A/V lab okay byeeeee!" And then she is gone, door shutting on her skitterclick of feet.